This series of Masterchef

I'm finding this pure televisual gold at the moment. I don't know if a new policy to have at least one completely useless contender per program, but letting one hapless person through into the final three per round is making for classic viewing. The man who smothered a pork chop in Blue Dragon sweet chili dipping sauce then burnt it to a smithereen is my favourite so far, closely followed by the distainful look on Torode and Wallace's face after discovering a chewed piece of carrot on their plate the other night. Genius

yes, i have been enjoying it. it's definitely x factor for the middle class.

that chewed carrot thing was brilliant indeed.

Plus chewed carrot red-faced man grating half a block of butter onto his meal thinking it was cheese. "Think you've got the wrong dairy product here mate"

yes his red face was very enjoyable

last week a woman misidentified Stilton as fucking Danish Blue. i was fuming. one bloke said Shropshire Blue, which is orange.

not quite as bad as mistaking butter for cheese but still

a bed of chewed carrot is quite the in-thing in culinary circles.

does it still have junglist/funky house incidental music?

it does, yes

i love how the chubby bloke tastes the food... puts a huge mouthfull in and stops for a few seconds with eyes closed to savour the flavours and work out what's going on on his pallet.

i love that

his reactions to desserts are quite full on. if he doesn't like one it's a sad sight.

my favourite thing would have to be the freeze frames of the contestants during the ingredients identification round accompanied by junglist/funky house and voice-over, when they get a correct answer (maybe wrong ones too?).

aye he says things like "hmmmn! i'd gladly pick that up and rub it all over my face and titties"

i also enjoy the overweight peoples sweat and redness in the pro-kitchen.

What im glad about is it hasnt fallen to the gay tv producers that always jump on what they find works and then stage everything. Let me explain.

There is a show on channel 4 called 'come dine with me'. Originally it really was about people who thought they were good host and cooks. there were like 5 of them and they would all go round each others house of an evening each taking it in turns to host the dinner party and then each would score the person whos dinner party it was and then the one with highest score at the end of the week won.

Now, the gay producers of the show realised that every twat that was on the show seemed to make it slightly entertaining and the od argument worked as well, they also figured that people who cant fucking cook are funny as well. So in true gay tv producer style they jumped on this forumla and almost every contestent would be a retard, gay, shit at cooking or what ever and u can see thats what they have done from a mile of. But yeah its funny, sometimes.

Sorry to go on but my point is masterchef havent moved away into any gay formulas or whats funny or get the viewers in they have pretty much been true to the cause. And plus they have a donk track in there so thats good.

Edit: one really very shit thing about it though is they do the same intro blurb about what the show is about every single time, again and again and again

you are a retard, gay, shit.

I think u have got me confused with ur music

I saw John Torode in Sainsbury's in Balham a few months ago. I think he fancied me.

  BCM said:

I saw John Torode in Sainsbury's in Balham a few months ago. I think he fancied me.

Shoulda banged him right in front of the shelf with the Lloyd Grossman cooking sauces. At the crucial moment, you could've pull him up my the hair and screamed, "LOOK AT LLOYD!"

has anyone noticed how often the term 'plate of food' is used on this programme?

Until a couple of weeks ago I had BBC Lifestyle but they changed it so I can't watch it anymore :(

But all I really want is BBC Food. God, I miss that channel.

  keltoi said:

has anyone noticed how often the term 'plate of food' is used on this programme?

Along with "IT DOESN'T GET ANY TOUGHER THAN THIS!"

greg wallace is a fucking dick.

  tauboo said:

yes, i have been enjoying it. it's definitely x factor for the middle class.

It so is ! They're both completely irritating twunts and talk in nothing but annoying soundbites (or just shout) but it's a nice little show all the same.

  tauboo said:

his reactions to desserts are quite full on. if he doesn't like one it's a sad sight.

His weird little chuckle w/ bedroom eyes if he likes a pudding are very scary

wow that weird dude was weird. he said something like "everyone else walks around and sees flower beds and hedges, i see tescos and sainsburys".

sad that we had to say bye to the polish girl. she was the most attractive girl ive seen with a mustache.

anyone else a fan of come dine with me?

god, they have some FUCKING weirdos on that piece of work

  ieafs said:

unless it's someone from coronation street, i almost never know who any of the celebrities are. i'm assuming they're sort of c-listy right?

the celebrity version sucks.

The celebrity version of Masterchef is piss funny, they never, ever slag off the food at all. Makes me wonder how they choose a winner when everything is an orgasm on a plate as long as it is cooked by someone like liz out of fucking Atomic Kitten.