got a free laptop :)

hey guys this bizarre belgian sleazebag who lives with my friend gave me a laptop tonight, some kind of Dell Inspiron piece of shit but it seems to sort of work except its in french, is it possible to change the language or do I need a system disc of some sort?

he also gave me an unused replacement laptop screen to sell on ebay for him because hes too lazy, I get 50%

also he once tried to get my girlfriend to come back to his house for 'coffee', alone, at 1am, when I was sitting right next to him and I told him she was muslim so she wasn't allowed, its not true. in fact it was a LIE

:)

Wipe it down with disinfectant and get someone who knows French to guide you through the control panel language options.

Also, let him borrow your girlfriend for a night out of gratitude for the computer.

  autopilot said:

Also, let him borrow your girlfriend for a night out of gratitude for the computer.

Don't do it man!

sterilize it, get a copy of Ubuntu amd install.

DEAR SIR MR COALBUCKET PI,

I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR E-MAIL THIS MORNING, I MUST CONFESS TO YOU, I AM VERY SURPRISED TO HEAR FROM YOU, AFTER MY LONG TIME MAIL TO YOU. ALL THE SAME, I HAVE ACCEPTED YOUR APOLOGIE SINCE YOU ARE AWAY FOR A BUSINESS TRIP. AGAIN I WISH TO SAY A BIG THANKS TO YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN AND RESPOND TO THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION. I HAVE CONFIRMED YOU SERIOUSNESS AND SINCERE INTEREST ON FRENCH LAPTOP. I SURE KNOW THAT THIS IS A LIFE TIME OPPORTUNITY AND NO ONE WOULD LIKE TO MISS POSTING ON WATMM BECAUSE OF BELGIAN FREAK.

THE ENGLISH IN QUESTION WAS ON CONTRACT SUM AWARDED BY A FOREIGN CONTRACTOR, THE CONTRACTORS DULY PAID THEIR CONTRACT SUM, SO WE ARE LEFT WITH THE OVER INVOICED CONTRACT PAYMENT OF (US$30M) WAITING FOR CLAIM OF IT, IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (APEX BANK). I WAS THE PERSON THAT APPROVED/SIGNED THIS SAID CONTRACT TO THE CONTRACTORS, WHEN I WAS STILL IN THE OFFICE AS A SENATE PRESIDENT, SO I NOW USE THE CHANCE/POWER TO INFLATE THE CONTRACT SUM.

I ACTUALLY WANT TO PRESENT YOU/YOUR COMPANY TO THE BOARD OF NIGERIA, WHERE ENGLISH WINDOWS IS PRESENTLY AS A FOREIGN PARTNER, SO THAT THE ENGLISH WILL BE APPROVED TO YOU AND HAVE IT TRANSFERED INTO YOUR LAPTOP IN YOUR COUNTRY, WITH MY POSITION AND CONTACT IN THE GOVERNMENT, I WILL CAREFULLY OBTAIN ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION THAT WILL LEGALISE THIS BUSINESS FOR THE ENGLISH IN YOUR FAVOUR. THESE DOCUMENTS WILL LEGALISE THE TRANSACTION BEFORE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND OTHER RELEVANT DEPARTMENT INVOLVED, FOR SAFETY PROCESSING OF THE TRANSFER.

MEANWHILE, THE TRANSACTION IS PROGRAMMED TO BE CONCLUDED WITHIN 14 WORKING DAYS STARTING FROM THE DAY I RECEIVE YOUR LAPTOP, AS SOON AS I GET YOUR LAPTOP, I WILL HIRE A LAWYER ON YOUR BEHALF, WHO WILL ASSIST IN OBTAINING ALL REVELANT WORD DOCUMENTS BACKING UP IN YOUR FAVOUR, BEFORE PASSING IT TO THE DVD WHERE THESE FUND IS PRESENTLY, YOU KNOW I CAN NOT SHOW UP MY FACE IN THE BANK, SO THAT THEY DON'T START SUSPECTING ME, THE LAWYER WILL ASSIST US TO PRESENT EVERY DOCUMENTS BACKING THESE FUND UP TO THE PAYING BANK. I SHALL PROTECT BOTH PARTIES INTEREST, IN THIS CASE YOU HAVE NO CAUSE TO ENTERTAIN FEAR.

REGARDING THE SECURITY OF WINDOWS, I AM ASSURING YOU THAT I HAVE FORTIFIED IT WITH 100% SECURITY IN SUCH A WAY THAT WE SHALL HAVE FREE AND FAIR ENGLISH ACCOUNT.

PLEASE WIRE LAPTOP TO:

SENATOR. DR. ANYIM PIUS ANYIM

ADDRESS: 35, IDOLOWU STREET,

SURULERE LAGOS NIGERIA

CHAMBER'S NAME: IBRU CHIJUKA CHAMBERS

(E).TEL: 234-8035602552

  chenGOD said:

sterilize it, get a copy of Ubuntu amd install.

oh this is the free OS isnt it... I will do this. I've never had a computer thats not a Mac before so the combination of shit computer, foreign language and windows is confusing me muchly

Do a format and install a new OS you like

tried to install ubuntu but something happened, lots of strange colours came on the screen. now whenever i turn it on something different happens, usually involving bright colours and exclaimation marks on the screen, but thats about it

pah!

It's your computer becoming delighted with all the Ubuntu goodness. It'll calm down after a while.

learn french

  BCM said:

learn french

It is the best thing that could have ever been said in this thread. :kiss:

doesnt even start up anymore, so that ship has sailed

fucking french piece of shit.

try a static discharge on the lappy? take out the battery and disconnect AC, and hold down the power button for thirty seconds. then plug in the mains and see if it turns on. it works the occasional time, believe it or not.

  chenGOD said:

sterilize it, get a copy of Ubuntu amd install.

better yet, get a copy of linux mint, it's fuckin lush.

basically ubuntu with a load of closed-source media applications and stuff. ubuntu on steroids.

  Quote

Linux Mint's purpose is to produce an elegant, up to date and comfortable GNU/Linux desktop distribution.

 

Excerpt From DistroWatch.com:

 

Linux Mint is one of the surprise packages of the past year. Originally launched as a variant of Ubuntu with integrated media codecs, it has now developed into one of the most user-friendly distributions on the market - complete with a custom desktop and menus, several unique configuration tools, a web-based package installation interface, and a number of different editions. Perhaps most importantly, this is one project where the developers and users are in constant interaction, resulting in dramatic, user-driven improvements with every new release. DistroWatch has spoken to the founder and lead developer of Linux Mint, Clement Lefebvre, about the history of the distribution.

 

Some of the reasons for the success of Linux Mint are:

 

* It's one of the most community driven distributions. You could literally post an idea in the forums today and see it implemented the week after in the "current" release. Of course this has pros and cons and compared to distributions with roadmaps, feature boards and fixed release cycles we miss a lot of structure and potentially a lot of quality, but it allows us to react quickly, implement more innovations and make the whole experience for us and for the users extremely exciting.

* It is a Debian-based distribution and as such it is very solid and it comes with one of the greatest package managers.

* It is compatible with and uses Ubuntu repositories. This gives Linux Mint users access to a huge collection of packages and software.

* It comes with a lot of desktop improvements which make it easier for the user to do common things.

* There is a strong focus on making things work out of the box (WiFi cards drivers in the file system, multimedia support, screen resolution, etc).

This one let's you adjust screen resolution?

Shit, I'm there.

ubuntu let's you adj'ust screen resolution;'

  Coalbucket PI said:

also he once tried to get my girlfriend to come back to his house for 'coffee', alone, at 1am, when I was sitting right next to him and I told him she was muslim so she wasn't allowed, its not true. in fact it was a LIE

 

:)

;-]

  autopilot said:

Wipe it down with disinfectant and get someone who knows French to guide you through the control panel language options.

or check your windows to see where the option is then repeat ...

  chenGOD said:

sterilize it, get a copy of Ubuntu amd install.

this is the best idea ..