LOL Alzado enjoys the vagina

this is for the male members (lol) out there, have any of you guys ever tried putting your penis into a vagina? it's awesome! it has this really wet, hot feel. it feels so great on your wiener. you know how it feels when you put your dong in a warm (but not too hot!) bowl of oatmeal? or an apple pie? it's sort of like that but better.

at first i put it in and just sat there and that was pretty good. but then i realized that it feels even better if you move it in and out. i tried it faster and faster and that felt really good. but then i tried it really slow and that felt good too lol.

it works waaaay better if you have a boner. i tried it when i didn't have a boner and i couldn't get it to go in. it just kept getting smushed against my pubes. but once i got a boner i was in there in no time. i like the whole thing. but it feels best at the end. you know it's the end because you feel like your wienie is going to explode. but not a bad explosion with fire and body parts. a good explosion if that makes any sense. it really feels so unbelievable.

and i think my cat liked it too!

damn i totally love you bro!

hmm i dunno, explosions are pretty scary.

  LOL Alzado said:

this is for the male members (lol) out there, have any of you guys ever tried putting your penis into a vagina? it's awesome! it has this really wet, hot feel. it feels so great on your wiener. you know how it feels when you put your dong in a warm (but not too hot!) bowl of oatmeal? or an apple pie? it's sort of like that but better.

 

at first i put it in and just sat there and that was pretty good. but then i realized that it feels even better if you move it in and out. i tried it faster and faster and that felt really good. but then i tried it really slow and that felt good too lol.

 

it works waaaay better if you have a boner. i tried it when i didn't have a boner and i couldn't get it to go in. it just kept getting smushed against my pubes. but once i got a boner i was in there in no time. i like the whole thing. but it feels best at the end. you know it's the end because you feel like your wienie is going to explode. but not a bad explosion with fire and body parts. a good explosion if that makes any sense. it really feels so unbelievable.

 

and i think my cat liked it too!

You Whore

I am going to start seeing other cats too now

putting the lop in a sexy twat... that is very tricky!

one of my friends' go-to pick-up line to hot girls used to be "have you ever heard of sex?"

can you put vagina in a penis.

LOL Alzado, you have broken continuity.

Is LUDD still seeing that persian?

where can i find one of these things?

edit:

can i get live cashback from it?

wtf you're like 92 years old.

i do not have a cat, i have a jar of overcooked pasta with clingfilm over the top. if i want rough sex i cook it al dente.

When i first had a penis in my vagina it hurt and it wasnt even a very big penis. Now i enjoy it greatly.

what's the best thing to put in my arsehole besides a penis.

  Pennywise said:

what's the best thing to put in my arsehole besides a penis.

The hand of papa rex.

is this how is babby formed?

heteresexuality is ok. yes.

i put my penis in a vagina regularly.

sometimes it's very rewarding.

  asymmetrical head said:

putting the lop in a sexy twat... that is very tricky!

but i guess in the end it is beating squirting up your squid to death.

  LOL Alzado said:

and i think my cat liked it too!

i gather you have a really tiny weener then

woah, so i guess autopilot was wrong after all

how disappointing

I actually kind of prefer the apple pie. It doesn't try to make conversation right before I fall asleep.

I hate to be picky but that's not my vagina. I was stabbed in the abdomen.

i found all this out by accident.

  xxx said:

Once I stopped using jimmies with my now wife, I noticed that I could not keep up the oil rig piston during the explosion. My mushroom gets so fucking sensitive that I just have to park it and puke on the doorstep of her cervix. I actually have the urge to do these weird wiggle mini-thrusts but they seem too fagatini so I don't do them. ProTip: Moves are important--whether you're on the dancefloor or up in dem guts.

you should totally do them. it might seem gay at first, but let me tell you, there's nothing straighter than that particular way of putting your penis into a vagina.

  xxx said:

Once I stopped using jimmies with my now wife, I noticed that I could not keep up the oil rig piston during the explosion. My mushroom gets so fucking sensitive that I just have to park it and puke on the doorstep of her cervix. I actually have the urge to do these weird wiggle mini-thrusts but they seem too fagatini so I don't do them. ProTip: Moves are important--whether you're on the dancefloor or up in dem guts.

lol

That's one of funniest parts of sex. When you cum but try to keep thrusting out of some notion that 'maybe she won't notice or I'll get hard again before she does'. Usually when I see that she notices I ask her to get me a glass of water and I'm passed out by the time she gets back.