Stephen King Fucking Sucks

I just realized this. I finished 'Duma Key' this morning and boy let me tell you. Mother fucker can't fucking write himself out of a fucking paper bag. What a fucking queer. What a cocksucker. I mean the fucking god damn beginning and early middle of his books are always so good it's like 'why did I think this guy was a bad writer' then all of a sudden some stupid fucking shit just comes out of nowhere "oh it's a ghost ship oh gee I'm being strangled by a zombie oh look there's Wireman with a funny one liner before he kills the zombie" I mean what the fuck guys? Seriously? Seriously? Fuck. I was actually sitting in study hall when that fucking bullshit starts and I was fucking rolling my fucking eyes I mean what the fuck is this shit guys? Guys? Fuck Stephen fucking King. Fuck.

Demon nights was great.

I know man... King is shite.

However I thought 'It' was quite good... I was 14 when I read that though. And even then I though the ending was a load of cheesy bullshit (giant space spiderz and turtles m8).

Some of his books are pure genius, yeah. He's a great author actually.

For the first half of his books at least.

What a shitty author. God.

  The Pod said:

I just realized this. I finished 'Duma Key' this morning and boy let me tell you. Mother fucker can't fucking write himself out of a fucking paper bag. What a fucking queer. What a cocksucker. I mean the fucking god damn beginning and early middle of his books are always so good it's like 'why did I think this guy was a bad writer' then all of a sudden some stupid fucking shit just comes out of nowhere "oh it's a ghost ship oh gee I'm being strangled by a zombie oh look there's Wireman with a funny one liner before he kills the zombie" I mean what the fuck guys? Seriously? Seriously? Fuck. I was actually sitting in study hall when that fucking bullshit starts and I was fucking rolling my fucking eyes I mean what the fuck is this shit guys? Guys? Fuck Stephen fucking King. Fuck.

I love King, but I agree about Duma Key. It starts alright, some of it in the middle is quite good. Then it reaches the end and I actually just started skimming pages. Very dull and generic.

This said, I think he may have something interesting cooked up for his next. "Under the Dome" is like 1,000 pages and the premise sounds fun. hes been working on it for 20 years.

I loved misery and the shining, it is good for the first half but the second was very bad, fell apart and i was unsucked from the it world.

salems lot is so epically good.

I think King's problem is in what he considers his strong point. If you read his book about writing, he talks about how he never pre-plots his books, he just starts writing and let's the story's work themselves out. Well this is probably why his endings always suck so bad, are always so 'deux ex machina'.

richard bachman.. not a bum note in all of his RB books!

read it!

The Regulators (1996) is fucking shit.

Haven't read the latest Bachman though.

  The Pod said:

I think King's problem is in what he considers his strong point. If you read his book about writing, he talks about how he never pre-plots his books, he just starts writing and let's the story's work themselves out. Well this is probably why his endings always suck so bad, are always so 'deux ex machina'.

Yup. One of the most irritating things he said was that outlining is for hacks.

No, writing and hoping you have some idea of where it may go but not really knowing is for hacks

  Mr Salads said:

  The Pod said:

I think King's problem is in what he considers his strong point. If you read his book about writing, he talks about how he never pre-plots his books, he just starts writing and let's the story's work themselves out. Well this is probably why his endings always suck so bad, are always so 'deux ex machina'.

Yup. One of the most irritating things he said was that outlining is for hacks.

 

No, writing and hoping you have some idea of where it may go but not really knowing is for hacks

This imo. Quite a foolish thing to think youre a genius and able to create a masterpiece by just sitting down for 2 weeks and writing along like Goethe did with Werther.....

I liked The Shining and The Stand, but those are the only novels of his i've read

I read the Gunslinger, too. That one was good

reminds me of this...

http://tubearoo.com/articles/64215/Best_of_Family_Guy.html

ffw to 3:30

Yeah actually 1-3 of the Dark Tower series are good sense the whole Dark Tower series is supposed to be one book, it's like reading three books Stephen King's beginnings where his imagination is really a driving power behind the books, before he tries to wrap everything up really cheaply and stupidly.

could be worse, you could be reading james herbert or dean r koontz

in a deserted X lies a Y. when troubled [protagonist], an exceptionally talented P, moves in due to B, he discovers Z and A happens. [protagonist] discovers he's [unlikely macguffin] and must rediscover his hidden Q to save the day

lamp monster

  Mr Salads said:

No, writing and hoping you have some idea of where it may go but not really knowing is for hacks

Most stories by Bradbury, Ellison, Vonnegut, and other typewriter weenies are written on that kind of stream-of-consciousness, unplanned writing, and they're not hacks.

f u pod. F everyone in this thread apparently, except for Chris Moss.

  my usernames always really suck said:

  Mr Salads said:

No, writing and hoping you have some idea of where it may go but not really knowing is for hacks

 

Most stories by Bradbury, Ellison, Vonnegut, and other typewriter weenies are written on that kind of stream-of-consciousness, unplanned writing, and they're not hacks.

philip k dick is awesome, and wrote his best stuff in an amphetamine-fuelled three year not-having-any-idea-of-where-it-may-go-but-really-knowing binge of hacktasticness.

  The Pod said:

Yeah actually 1-3 of the Dark Tower series are good sense the whole Dark Tower series is supposed to be one book, it's like reading three books Stephen King's beginnings where his imagination is really a driving power behind the books, before he tries to wrap everything up really cheaply and stupidly.

You mean 1-4. It peaked with 4.

Philip K Dick is fucking brilliant so too is Kurt Vonnegut.

dark tower is fucking outstanding. I loved all of them, all the way to the end

my roommate is a huge fan. infact King is probably all he reads..

I liked the movies Misery, The Shining, and dead zone though