GROSSEST FUCKING SHIT

So my girlfriend's parents just moved out of their place, and before they left they made us dinner, including fish balls in soup/broth. (not the gross part, but ehh) They left the food at the apartment and we arrived later in the day, had great bulgogi and pickled eggs and stir-fried anchovies and shit, hell yes. My girlfriend is the only one who has the fish ball soup, and the remains are left in the covered dish, and returned to the rear of the stovetop. that was around two weeks ago.

Over the past week or so, we start picking up on some fucking funky fart-in-trashcan aura in the kitchen, nowhere in particular. It's several days of searching—looking in the oven, in the fridge, in cupboards and under the sink, almost subconsciously avoiding the dank shitpot stewing at the back of the stovetop.

I stare at the pot today, recall the meal we'd eaten, and cautiously go towards it. Opening it up, It looks completely solidified, kind of like fuzzy, uncooked, hard ramen filling the bowl. But I pick it up, and it starts jiggling. Strange orange chunks and flesh-colored biomorphic blobs slowly rumble around underneath the lattices of mold. Emptying this out (with ladies dishwashing gloves) was the first time I'd actually gagged from such an awful smell. I still smell remnants of this fucking horror in the sink area; I haven't washed the pot itself it, though I've rinsed it out. I feel raped.

ur guys turns lol

eat it and poop it out

quick edit:

challenge alzado to a fart off against his rib farts.

oh god

my farts are less explosive, moreso ongoing waves. but i want to hear stories about equally gross shit you guys have come across, whether it was once food, body parts, etc. yegg is not allowed to post photos in this thread.

My family gets a giant bucket of food from the local farms around us once a week. The produce is whatever is in season at the moment. Apparently daikon radish is in season, and for the last three weeks, we've received around three pounds of daikon. I'm beginning to think that daikon is smell-radioactive, as the unbearable stench of a rotten fish and a compost heap seem to permeate everything the radishes touch. The bucket, my hands, the refrigerator. Ungodly.

Yesterday I decided to attempt to make these foul creatures edible by doing the only culinary process available: pickling them. I got a large tupperware container (first mistake) and chopped up the daikon, (breathing through my mouth of course) and hastily threw the stink chunks into the dish, quickly soaking them in rice vinegar. I sealed the lid, and set the pickling in motion. Then I went to bed.

As I rise the next morning, and head downstairs to the kitchen, I see my mother looking gravely at the tupperware container that she has removed from the fridge. "What the hell is this" "Well, thats the daikon. But don't open it for the love of god." Her nostrils flare. "Well I didn't have to, the smell was so strong it hit me as I reached for the milk." As she's saying this, my sister walks into the room, gets a whiff, and dry heaves herself to the floor. I have a good lol. "GET IT OUT" my sister yells, as I'm handed the tupperware and pushed out the front door by my mother. I disposed of the daikon in our trash can, only to be combined with the decaying rabbit my cat killed two days earlier. I gagged and backed away.

fuck daikon.

daikon doesn't smell that bad though you pansy

  essines said:

daikon doesn't smell that bad though you pansy

Because the smell is absorbed by your beard so it can't reach your nostrils. :fee:

I recall several years ago buying a fresh ear of corn from a farmer's roadside stand and I when I got home I took my knife and cut down the length of the corn to remove the kernals, and in doing so exposed 11 or 12 little squirmy tiny white worms, some of which had been sliced, which made them writhe even more violently around like they had just been rudely awakened. to this day i do not know who was more surprised, me or the worms.

one time while eating some shimmering nuts I bit into a hazel nut only to feel something cold and wet on my tongue. I spat it out, revealing a tiny, perfectly intact grub.

i was really sick around christmas time, hacking up tons of phlegm, throat very swollen, nausea, the works.

i stepped outside to go through the motions of enjoying a cigarette and hocked a disc of snot. it came out perfectly, no strings attached, like an oyster, hit a leaf on the ground which caused it to skip cleanly and then stuck to the neighbor's apt. wall. i instantly gagged at the slide/skip because it sort of amplified the memory of feeling it in my throat and made this phantom loogie feeling. it was a powerful dry heave, almost painful because of the sore throat, and left me all watery eyed.

poetry

I'll have a think and try and come up with the grossest "I live in a squat"-type story. I don't actually live in a squat but I might as well do - I've actually been to numerous squats which were cleaner, safer and less vermin-ridden than my house.

ooh ooh, i like the no electricity one. its not gross just immensely and bafflingly shameful!

one of my earliest memories is biting into a raspberry whilst on a farm and an ear-wig being inside it...

  idrn said:

ooh ooh, i like the no electricity one. its not gross just immensely and bafflingly shameful!

 

 

one of my earliest memories is biting into a raspberry whilst on a farm and an ear-wig being inside it...

Urrghhh earwigs are the fucking worst

i was gonna kiss this girl but i ended up sneezing in her face

i then went and told her ex about these events, and he high-fived me

  Fred McGriff said:

I recall several years ago buying a fresh ear of corn from a farmer's roadside stand and I when I got home I took my knife and cut down the length of the corn to remove the kernals, and in doing so exposed 11 or 12 little squirmy tiny white worms, some of which had been sliced, which made them writhe even more violently around like they had just been rudely awakened. to this day i do not know who was more surprised, me or the worms.

did it taste good though?

  KY said:

So my girlfriend's parents just moved out of their place, and before they left they made us dinner, including fish balls in soup/broth. (not the gross part, but ehh) They left the food at the apartment and we arrived later in the day, had great bulgogi and pickled eggs and stir-fried anchovies and shit, hell yes. My girlfriend is the only one who has the fish ball soup, and the remains are left in the covered dish, and returned to the rear of the stovetop. that was around two weeks ago.

 

Over the past week or so, we start picking up on some fucking funky fart-in-trashcan aura in the kitchen, nowhere in particular. It's several days of searching—looking in the oven, in the fridge, in cupboards and under the sink, almost subconsciously avoiding the dank shitpot stewing at the back of the stovetop.

 

I stare at the pot today, recall the meal we'd eaten, and cautiously go towards it. Opening it up, It looks completely solidified, kind of like fuzzy, uncooked, hard ramen filling the bowl. But I pick it up, and it starts jiggling. Strange orange chunks and flesh-colored biomorphic blobs slowly rumble around underneath the lattices of mold. Emptying this out (with ladies dishwashing gloves) was the first time I'd actually gagged from such an awful smell. I still smell remnants of this fucking horror in the sink area; I haven't washed the pot itself it, though I've rinsed it out. I feel raped.

 

ur guys turns lol

did it taste good though?

  idrn said:

ooh ooh, i like the no electricity one. its not gross just immensely and bafflingly shameful!

 

 

one of my earliest memories is biting into a raspberry whilst on a farm and an ear-wig being inside it...

did it taste good though?

  nene multiple assgasms said:

one time while eating some shimmering nuts I bit into a hazel nut only to feel something cold and wet on my tongue. I spat it out, revealing a tiny, perfectly intact grub.

did it?

  Adjective said:

i was really sick around christmas time, hacking up tons of phlegm, throat very swollen, nausea, the works.

i stepped outside to go through the motions of enjoying a cigarette and hocked a disc of snot. it came out perfectly, no strings attached, like an oyster, hit a leaf on the ground which caused it to skip cleanly and then stuck to the neighbor's apt. wall. i instantly gagged at the slide/skip because it sort of amplified the memory of feeling it in my throat and made this phantom loogie feeling. it was a powerful dry heave, almost painful because of the sore throat, and left me all watery eyed.

taste good?

Last night I dreamt I puked a bunch of nasty-tasting blood from going down on my wife during her period.

I just moved into a new place and there's a garbage disposal unit in the sink. I was using it for the first time the other night and something definitely sounded wrong. I asked my roommates about and they shrugged and told me it was just old and "junky" My new roommates seem like incompetent retards and I distrust them so poked around in there with a chopstick and moved an object into view. The kitchen has dim lighting so I couldn't quite make out what it was, I stuck my hand in there and pulled out a mini-hockey puck surrounded by a net of hair with old food bits stuck in it. The thing was fucking foul and it makes me gag a little just thinking about it. I also found a zip tie and a mangled old sponge in there.

  Yegg said:

I just moved into a new place and there's a garbage disposal unit in the sink. I was using it for the first time the other night and something definitely sounded wrong. I asked my roommates about and they shrugged and told me it was just old and "junky" My new roommates seem like incompetent retards and I distrust them so poked around in there with a chopstick and moved an object into view. The kitchen has dim lighting so I couldn't quite make out what it was, I stuck my hand in there and pulled out a mini-hockey puck surrounded by a net of hair with old food bits stuck in it. The thing was fucking foul and it makes me gag a little just thinking about it. I also found a zip tie and a mangled old sponge in there.

I found something like that in our bathroom drain.  I subsequently bought my wife a hairbrush.

  Yegg said:

I distrust them so poked around in there with a chopstick and moved an object into view.

this made me picture you with one of those small Craftsmen tool bags filled with different sized chopsticks

  KY said:

I stare at the pot today, recall the meal we'd eaten, and cautiously go towards it. Opening it up, It looks completely solidified, kind of like fuzzy, uncooked, hard ramen filling the bowl. But I pick it up, and it starts jiggling. Strange orange chunks and flesh-colored biomorphic blobs slowly rumble around underneath the lattices of mold.

So wait...

Was it maggots?

Or did fish hatch from the eggs?

  ezkerraldean said:

i was gonna kiss this girl but i ended up sneezing in her face

 

 

i then went and told her ex about these events, and he high-fived me

Hearty lol right there.

I was once in the emergency room, sick with asthma, and had a gut full of mucus from my lungs being filled with the shit, so I was throwing up....my mom and a nurse were in the room I was admitted to and I had to barf, all over the place and I was making those horrible frog-like noises one makes while puking, especially after you think you have finished....the vomit stunk like stinky cheese and I was making these noises that were making me want to throw up even more....and then, to my pleasant surprise, I look up and the nurse barfed a little, came out of her mouth onto her smock and she excused herself, with a look of complete disgust....it made me laugh, while heaving.....I call it laugh barfing.....and I made a woman puke who has probably cleaned out colostomy bags...feces! yay!

  my usernames always really suck said:

  KY said:

I stare at the pot today, recall the meal we'd eaten, and cautiously go towards it. Opening it up, It looks completely solidified, kind of like fuzzy, uncooked, hard ramen filling the bowl. But I pick it up, and it starts jiggling. Strange orange chunks and flesh-colored biomorphic blobs slowly rumble around underneath the lattices of mold.

 

So wait...

 

Was it maggots?

 

Or did fish hatch from the eggs?

lol no fish hatching from eggs, no maggots. i was really surprised there weren't any small creatures swimming around in there though.

i think atop wins lol

thank you, thank you very much