Marriage Rates

So I'm going back home to a wedding in a couple weeks and I started thinking about the current state of marriage in my generation. What I've witnessed has been that people my age and a little older tend to not marry as often as our parents did. I think couples stay together for longer periods of time without getting married, which, of course, serves as a filter for couples that definitely shouldn't be together at all. This makes for fewer marriages [and, in effect, fewer divorces].

I've tried to find some statistics to back up these thoughts, but I can't find much. All of the data I find tends to be quite old, or just not relevant to what I'm looking for. I want to find a graph or list that shows marriage rates versus divorce rates over time.

There's this but I have no idea how old it is.

What say ye? Post some of your experiences with married and divorced couples your age.

i'd guess marriage rates are down cos it's less important to younger generations, there's less stigma attached to living together (living in sin? lol), kids with unmarried parents don't get bullied, etc, etc.

but i'd think divorce rates are still up cos it's so easy to get divorced now and there's also less stigma attached to it.

i thought that was obvious lol

  Braintree said:

...I think couples stay together for longer periods of time without getting married, which, of course, serves as a filter for couples that definitely shouldn't be together at all. This makes for fewer marriages [and, in effect, fewer divorces].

on the contrary. i think the rate of divorces is higher than ever. i think this is mainly due to the 'liberation of the individual' or 'emancipation act' if you prefer. back in the days, people depended more on each other, and in favor of raising a family and keeping a 'home' (or nice 'perfect family image') stayed together even if husband and wife never touched each other again.

as i see it today, in these confused times, people rely more on their own, i think individuals are turning into 'personal projects', and commitments into common beneficial relationships that have an expiry date.

we've become the very products we sell to each other. and therefore we are disposable as such.

dude it's not that bad. i mean... it is, but it doesn't have to be like that for you, for me.

i agree with the OP about fewer people getting married, at least my peers. i most of the couples i know/hang out with have been together for many years. practically none are married.

me and my girlfriend, we've been together for more than 10 years now. we've been living together for like 7. it's funny to call her a "girlfriend", because probably the majority of marriages end before reaching 10 years...

anyways, we don't have any plans to marry, neither of us sees a reason. we're totally devoted to each other, spending our spare time together, the relationship is in great condition. so why marry?

  kokoon said:

dude it's not that bad. i mean... it is, but it doesn't have to be like that for you, for me.

...

of course, i totally agree with you. i was just making a rough cross section of what i've seen generally through many years (and personal experience on certain occasions).

well, my lady and i have been together for nearly 7 years now and we're finally getting married in august. been engaged for a few years, but in no real rush to make it official. really, the only reason we were going to get married in the first place was because her mom was sick with breast cancer and she really wanted to see her only daughter get married before she died. unfortunately, she passed away a few years ago, so the need was not really there any more, but then all of our family members were like "are you ever getting married?" "so when's the wedding?" "blah blah fuckin' blah", so now we're basically doing it to shut them the fuck up and not have to have those awkward conversations every holiday. awkward conversations with people that probably wouldn't be invited anyway.

aside from the feelings of family obligation and the legal perks of marriage, i don't have any connection whatsoever to the religious concept of marriage and i never planned on getting hitched until i met my future wife. i feel especially bad taking part in it when there are people i know and love that have been together for decades that are not allowed to get married because of prop. 8. i'm definitely not having a traditional ceremony, no priests or anything, so it's probably more like a "civil union" but still...makes me feel kinda dirty just because of the word association.

more on the topic, all of our friends are freaking out with excitement because they've never been to a "cool wedding" before because we're pretty much the only people in our crew that have gotten hitched. it's not exactly the cool thing to do these days, but then again, we're probably one of the only stable couples in all of san francisco, so it's hard to say if people just aren't into it as an institution or if it's just difficult for people to find partners worth getting married to. people expect a lot more out of their spouses these days than they did in ye olden times, so who knows?

everyone i know is married. everyone. i don't know many people.

i had to get married. otherwise i couldn't be with her. but our commitment was bigger than just getting married anyway, well mine was, i gave up my life back home.

  catsonearth said:

people expect a lot more out of their spouses these days than they did in ye olden times, so who knows?

DEFINITELY seems to be the case. people these days aren't willing to put up with nearly as much, at least i know that's how i feel.. and is that such a bad thing?

but marriage is a commitment/compromise and that's what you have to learn.

great thread.

I noticed on that link 60% of the divorcees don't have children and that sociologists think childlessness contributes to the divorce. ???

First time Ive heard that, unless I totally misunderstood what they were talking about. I figure that it isn't a lack of children that contributes but the potential for having children. Id say people while they are obviously selfish, are also getting smarter these days and recognizing that if their marriage is failing bringing a child into it will not solve anything. So they back out and spare the next generation from unnecessary problems.

it's just easier to move on without children i would think. a lot of people probably stay together for their children when they should be getting a divorce.

i knew two couples who were married before out of hichschool and like 6 or 7 others that married within one or two years

i think it totally depends where you come from. i don't need marriage to be with the one i love for my entire life. and the idea of marriage is fucked up

but for her i'll do it cause it's what she wants and i can handle it.

Marriage is for poofs.

No really, thats legal now.

  essines said:

but for her i'll do it cause it's what she wants and i can handle it.

thats right. you gotta fucking bro up bro.

i'm not your bro, bud.

  essines said:

i'm not your bro, bud.

im not your bud, guy

*makes out with salads*

*fucks essines*

*wanks*

*drops ice cream*

*farts*

hey planetoid i fucked your mother/sister/boyfriend

Is planetoid "my usernames"?

hey essines i slipped rohypnol into your strawberry fizzle mojito and raped you in the mouth while you were unconscious