Fuck the Postal Service.

No, not the electro-pop band.

I'm talking about those guys that deliver mail. That's right. The USPS.

On Sunday, I mailed a package. I paid an extra dollar fifty so it would be delivered within three days instead of the usual week or whatever. I think the proper title was "Priority Mail."

Well, it's Friday, it still hasn't arrived at its destination and I'm kinda (really) pissed. The wasted dollar fifty is of no consequence, although I could've bought two soda bottles with that money. Bummer.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I wrote "Do Not Bend" on the envelope? You see, I was sending CDs, so I thought, "Well, I better make sure nobody assumes that there's just paper in here. Don't want the CDs to arrive broken!"

Maybe the postal workers thought that meant there was a bomb or some other illicit material inside the envelope? This was one of those big ones with the bubble padding, by the way. It probably didn't help that I wrote "please" and "thank you" in French, German, and Spanish in order to make sure 100% that no bending occurred. They probably think there's a multicultural terrorist on the loose.

But my return address was right on there, so why haven't the authorities contacted me yet? Hmm?

I digress. I'm really pissed off. And I'm sure that I didn't just write the address wrong. I specifically remember checking it over because I'm paranoid about shit like that.

Should I just send another package or should I wait, hoping that somehow, this one might arrive?

why did you write it in 4 languages? this is america we speak american. sounds like the work of a terrorist to me.

i don't even fucking know why i did that :(

did you mail it to someone living in an apartment?

could be sitting in the complex's office or sometimes the postman will actually just lay it on top of all the mailboxes

are you from overseas?

  On 7/3/2009 at 6:52 PM, Adjective said:

did you mail it to someone living in an apartment?

could be sitting in the complex's office or sometimes the postman will actually just lay it on top of all the mailboxes

i mailed it to someone out in the country. like on a farm basically.

  On 7/3/2009 at 6:52 PM, theSun said:

are you from overseas?

no. i live in the good ol' usa.

your CD has probably been sucked into the sex trade. don't lose hope though, i watched this documentary (nat geo explorer?) where they follow this guy as he goes from contact to contact in that underworld and managed to find and rescue his wife. don't give up hope!

it could take extra time if they live in the middle of nowhere, i'd get worried if its not there 2 weeks after you sent it.

also, i'm confused why you would write do not bend in french and german. i mean, there are some mexicans peacefully invading and keeping their silly heathen language alive, but the amount of non-english german or french people has been negligible since like 1875.

  On 7/3/2009 at 7:10 PM, theSun said:

it could take extra time if they live in the middle of nowhere, i'd get worried if its not there 2 weeks after you sent it.

 

also, i'm confused why you would write do not bend in french and german. i mean, there are some mexicans peacefully invading and keeping their silly heathen language alive, but the amount of non-english german or french people has been negligible since like 1875.

at first, i just wrote it in spanish, but then i thought it might seem racist, implying that spanish-speaking people can only acquire menial jobs like working at the post office. then i wrote it in german and french so some angry mexican didn't toss my letter. it might've had the opposite effect.

also, i've sent mail to this place once before and it arrived on time.

beneboi sent me an elektribe and a laptop HD usps a while ago and i never got it. Just had to buy my own HD off ebay last night cuz that shit is gone

its the holiday. it'll slow all mail down

yknow fuck the band too, they remind me of weekends in bed with an ex getting wasted and fucking our brains out

more fun times than now

fuck you postal service and also postal service (band)

  On 7/3/2009 at 8:19 PM, 42Orange said:

beneboi sent me an elektribe and a laptop HD usps a while ago and i never got it. Just had to buy my own HD off ebay last night cuz that shit is gone

damn, that's way worse than losing two cds!

edit: i feel relatively lucky that i learned my lesson this way. i'll just use fedex or ups from now on. it can't be that much more expensive.

they don't give a fuck what is written on the paper dude, itn's not like they stack separate piles for fragile and non fragile packages

Waiting for a CD order is the most obnoxious thing ever. I usually become obsessed with the arrival of the mailman whenever I order something. I have been waiting for a shipment from Louisville, Kentucky since June 25th (8 days ago), and I will have to wait until this Monday for the next business day. FML.

  On 7/3/2009 at 6:46 PM, Hoodie said:

No, not the electro-pop band.

 

I'm talking about those guys that deliver mail. That's right. The USPS.

 

On Sunday, I mailed a package...

This is why you fail

lol nice catch

I knew it wasn't going to be shipped out that day. I was expecting it to arrive last Wednesday, not Tuesday.

As of yesterday, it still hasn't arrived. So this is no case of simple "holiday lag" in the postal service. I'm thinking that maybe someone got confused and read "Do Not Bend" as "Do Not Send" and then simply tossed the package.

  On 7/7/2009 at 4:14 PM, Hoodie said:

I knew it wasn't going to be shipped out that day. I was expecting it to arrive last Wednesday, not Tuesday.

 

As of yesterday, it still hasn't arrived. So this is no case of simple "holiday lag" in the postal service. I'm thinking that maybe someone got confused and read "Do Not Bend" as "Do Not Send" and then simply tossed the package.

Did you put sufficient postage on it? I bet that's the case...

yeah something isnt right here. he says eh paid extra to get delivery confirmation but he says sunday. so unless he used the automated machine thing (the local one is inside a locked post office out of hours yeh convient) then he had to go to the retard in the post office but post offices are closed on sundays so maybe he dreamt that he posted it

why do any of us care?

p.s beneboi never posted the elektribe you fool

  On 7/3/2009 at 6:46 PM, Hoodie said:

No, not the electro-pop band.

YES, fuck them too. every time i see a fucking UPS commercial i hear that oddly affeminate song, which i first heard on the ride to a homeless shelter in late 03 / early 04 and it was said "hey jim this kind of reminds me of your guy aphex twin" and true i did hear some influence in the percussion style of that song, but still, really, fuck the hipsterization of electronic music. it shall never stand as long as i'm here to fight it!!@#

i used the automated machine that prints out fancy labels, so i definitely had enough postage.

the area where the po boxes are (and the automated machine) is still accessible on sundays.

guys, i've sent mail before. i know that it needs postage. lol.

  On 7/7/2009 at 4:55 PM, sinicalypse said:

YES, fuck them too. every time i see a fucking UPS commercial i hear that oddly affeminate song, which i first heard on the ride to a homeless shelter in late 03 / early 04 and it was said "hey jim this kind of reminds me of your guy aphex twin" and true i did hear some influence in the percussion style of that song, but still, really, fuck the hipsterization of electronic music. it shall never stand as long as i'm here to fight it!!@#

i put that song on a mixtape for someone.

yes, it worked.

  On 7/7/2009 at 4:59 PM, Hoodie said:

i put that song on a mixtape for someone.

 

yes, it worked.

GOOD FOR YOU!!@#

  On 7/3/2009 at 9:37 PM, Producer Snafu said:

they don't give a fuck what is written on the paper dude, itn's not like they stack separate piles for fragile and non fragile packages

If it can be thrown, it'll be thrown. Take care to shockproof your packages as well as you can.

fifty dollars for some cd's?