Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles?

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html

"Pagan kids didn't have anything to do on Easter Sunday because their mommies and daddies were stuck in a false temple all day, naked and writhing around with their neighbors in Satanic orgies of the flesh. You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were away from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan. And since they didn't have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint," he says. "But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historians would have you believe). Nope, it was because of Lucifer's testicles! Glory to God! And I won't say a word more about it! I don't want to ruin the book for you!"

 

 

edit: lol

Edited August 1, 2009 by modey

that's gotta be a parody site or some shit.

lol

 

 

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

 

 

great website

 

even the forums are fun to read

lol, all the links go to landover baptist church, sounds like a fun place

The Eggs/Balls of Satan

 

Half a cup of powdered sugar

One quarter teaspoo salt

One knifetip Turkish hash

Half a pound butter

One teaspoon vanilla-sugar

Half a pound flour

150 g ground nuts

A little extra powdered sugar

... and no eggs

 

Place in a bowl

Add butter

Add the ground nuts and

Knead the dough

 

Form eyeball-size pieces from the dough

Roll in the powdered sugar

and say the Magic Words:

"Sim sala bim bamba sala do saladim"

 

Place on a greased baking pan and

Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes

...AND NO EGGS

 

Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes

...and no eggs.

UND KEINE EIER

So is the yolk the actual balls?

lol

  On 8/1/2009 at 11:37 AM, Landover said:

parents who by lack of faith can't afford to send their children to a decent Christian school.

So you're poor because you don't pray enough? I thought religion was supposed to make people feel good about themselves. Edited August 1, 2009 by WhoNeedsElectricity

lol

 

 

my god american christians are so shit though

this could easily have been genuine

 

easter itself is named after a pagan saxon god, for fuck's sake

Edited August 1, 2009 by ezkerraldean

yeah landover baptist is from the whitehouse.org people

holy fuck that forum is rediculous

 

like, this can't be true

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/thestaff/ladies/daisymae.html

Edited August 1, 2009 by essines

THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF SICK YOLK!!

I AM TOTALLY EGG-AINST IT!!

EAST'ER?? I BARELY KNEW'ER!!

LOLed massively at the topic title!