Shit My Dad Says

Shit my dad says

Some of my favorites:

"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

'You don't know shit, and you're not shit. Don't take that the wrong way, that was meant to cheer you up."

LOL this is great.

"Nobody is that important. They eat, shit, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shit like you, you got those stomach problems."

Wow this one if for the guy who wouldn't blow in the breathalyzer:

"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."

the guys bio is hilarious in its brevity.

i swear his old man is some sort of americanized roughshod buddha.

or its just made up. they are some classy quotes, either way.

I swear someone linked this here a month or two ago . . .

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:42 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

I swear someone linked this here a month or two ago . . .

they did

and?

i dont care

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:56 AM, messiaen said:

i dont care

hence you reading this, and posting twice.

at first i read this thread as your dad uttered the phrase 'fucking lol'

I wish my dad was cool

or you could just not post a response and let this thread die.

do you get a blowjob at home for making posts like that? a pat on the back? a cookie?

i dont understand why stating jazzband is so satisfying for everyone.

  On 11/20/2009 at 10:14 AM, verticalhold said:

I wish my dad was cool

it would be both a blessing and curse to have that man as a father. thats all i know.

a great foul mouthed sage

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:29 AM, messiaen said:

or its just made up. they are some classy quotes, either way.

didn't see this mentioned anywhere but... : shit just got real

  On 5/23/2010 at 9:16 AM, verticalhold said:

didn't see this mentioned anywhere but... : shit just got real

whoa

It will fail.

Just watch :)

  On 5/23/2010 at 1:11 PM, Bramsworth said:

It will fail.

 

Just watch :)

probably, but it does have William Shatner

shit my shat says

only faggots cry jazzband.

as funny as some of that shit is, I can't see it succeeding as a TV show.

Like the Louis CK show - he's a fucking funny as shit comedian, but his show was meh.

Every show gonna be a build-up to the one line of "shit his dad says".

my dad says cool stuff that verge on biggotry. i love when he talks about his own kind aswell. my dad is a "self hating puerto rican".

"when i was a kid, i always wanted to be white... it seemed like the right thing to be."

this is amazing, thank you.

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:13 AM, Smettingham Rutherford IV said:

 

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."