Wiping Methods

They are not really wiping methods, are they??

i like a nice napkin fold on my butthole

they aren't. they are toilet paper pre-wipe preparation methods.

  On 1/7/2010 at 10:04 PM, Fred McGriff said:

they aren't. they are toilet paper pre-wipe preparation methods.

i'm not even sure that they're methods guys

i think what we have a case of is equipment

Joyrex made a funny Irari.

napkin fold here - I always fold four times.

sigh

I tend to fold but sometimes a messy blow out can require a wad or a panetoid.

I just slop some rose scented evian around my nether regions and then roll my butt over bed of cotton balls before a swift waft dry by a passing Ferrari before being having my butt gently moisturized by Grace Jones' butt.

This doesn't cover a fraction of the folds I employ and thankfully doesn't even attempt to tackle any of the techniques

Should this be in the crap thread section?

I kid, I kid.

I got a laugh at work - and that's what matters.

the planetoid

lol

The mummy, lol

Kyp Malone lets me use his beard to wipe my ass.

should have done an offensive one with just a bare hand as "the arab"

Lush

  On 1/7/2010 at 10:19 PM, beatfanatic said:

Joyrex made a funny Irari.

I rarily laugh at his jokes as well.

  On 1/8/2010 at 7:26 AM, xxx said:

Now here's the deal. The French and whomever else employ le bidet are right. At my job, I'm often heaving old men to and fro to shit and piss. I've had some downtown ruckus and I think that it must be a hemorrhoid. On a really acidic, neon green diarrhea before a shower, it felt like a light saber was criss-crossing my anus. So, I get in the shower with a pulsing backside wondering what I can do to get relief. My shower is very little and does not have a hand-held rinser BUT it has the water pressure of Niagra Falls. But I am also 6'3". After experimenting like two gay teenagers, I find that bending all the way over at the waist but keeping my legs arrow straight aligns me perfectly with the stream. Oh Glorious God, when that 400 psi of warm water hit my ring, it was like being freed from this mortal coil into the heavens. Then, I puckered the starfish in and out to maximize irrigation. In all seriousness guys, this felt so good that I wondered if I could be a gay. At any rate, I would love a bidet not just for 'rrhoid relief but because I feel like even a TP/bidet combo breaker would give maximum cleanliness.

you could be a writer

  On 1/8/2010 at 7:26 AM, xxx said:

Now here's the deal. The French and whomever else employ le bidet are right. At my job, I'm often heaving old men to and fro to shit and piss. I've had some downtown ruckus and I think that it must be a hemorrhoid. On a really acidic, neon green diarrhea before a shower, it felt like a light saber was criss-crossing my anus. So, I get in the shower with a pulsing backside wondering what I can do to get relief. My shower is very little and does not have a hand-held rinser BUT it has the water pressure of Niagra Falls. But I am also 6'3". After experimenting like two gay teenagers, I find that bending all the way over at the waist but keeping my legs arrow straight aligns me perfectly with the stream. Oh Glorious God, when that 400 psi of warm water hit my ring, it was like being freed from this mortal coil into the heavens. Then, I puckered the starfish in and out to maximize irrigation. In all seriousness guys, this felt so good that I wondered if I could be a gay. At any rate, I would love a bidet not just for 'rrhoid relief but because I feel like even a TP/bidet combo breaker would give maximum cleanliness.

the japanese call them washlets

  On 1/8/2010 at 7:26 AM, xxx said:

Now here's the deal. The French and whomever else employ le bidet are right. At my job, I'm often heaving old men to and fro to shit and piss. I've had some downtown ruckus and I think that it must be a hemorrhoid. On a really acidic, neon green diarrhea before a shower, it felt like a light saber was criss-crossing my anus. So, I get in the shower with a pulsing backside wondering what I can do to get relief. My shower is very little and does not have a hand-held rinser BUT it has the water pressure of Niagra Falls. But I am also 6'3". After experimenting like two gay teenagers, I find that bending all the way over at the waist but keeping my legs arrow straight aligns me perfectly with the stream. Oh Glorious God, when that 400 psi of warm water hit my ring, it was like being freed from this mortal coil into the heavens. Then, I puckered the starfish in and out to maximize irrigation. In all seriousness guys, this felt so good that I wondered if I could be a gay. At any rate, I would love a bidet not just for 'rrhoid relief but because I feel like even a TP/bidet combo breaker would give maximum cleanliness.

you should be a writer.

xxx watmm best post 2010

i'm too impatient to fold or any of that crap I just grab that shit out my ass and throw it in the toilet.

  On 1/9/2010 at 10:48 AM, Bubba69 said:

i'm too impatient to fold or any of that crap I just grab that shit out my ass and throw it in the toilet.

lol

I prefer the unlisted "Triple helix Mobius strip fold" myself