my friend told me a nice story today

these guys he grew up with went on holiday together to some shithole like benidorm or somewhere... basically a lads drinking and fucking holiday.

anyway 1 night it all got out of hand back at the hotel in the dying stages of a majorly messy binge, when 1 of the guys passed out from exhaustion faced down on his bed... so everyone else starts fucking about with him, pouring stuff on him, covering him in hairgel and talc, cutting his hair, pulling his pants down, etc.

1 guy upped the ante when he had the bright idea of inserting the nozzle from a fire extinguisher up the sleeping guy's rectum and setting the thing off... as expected the boy awoke with a quite a start, as he recieved his non-consentual high powered, subzero temp, chemical enema... hilarity ensued as the guy writhed in pain on the floor with gas and foam squelching out of his blistered anus... hilarity ended as they realised the seriousness of their pal's injuries and called da ambalamps.

so it turned out the guy lost half of his inner tubes and stomach after about a dozen major surgeries and had to walk around with a bag of shite strapped to him for the rest of his days... which didn't last very long anyway cos he understandably got rather depressed and decided to kill himself after declaring that he would haunt the giggling culprits into madness from his miserable grave...

the instigator, the ideas-man, unable to live with himself, is now a self loathing heroin junky just a step or 2 from death's door.

nice story eh.

that was a rather sobering read

you sound like an impotent white capitalist.

cool story bro

I think messing with people when they are asleep is dickhead behaviour, it tends to fall in to two categories: A - childish and not funny or B - cruel and dangerous. A friend of mine was laugher her arse off telling me about how someone teabagged someone else once when they KOed, it was hilarious apparently... I just don't get it, humiliating and torturing is something you should save for people you don't like. I've done the whole draw on someones face thing once or twice, and I think it stopped being funny about halfway through the first one.

i've had my drunken fun with fire extinguishers.. but that's just plain idiocy

If they're sober enough to take heir shoes off, don't fuck with them. Otherwise, draw away.

Violent shit like the first example of the fire extinguisher enema is stupid, and those people deserve some form of sterilization (not really, but for real?)

I think of the short story by Chuck P. "Guts"

That's absolutely terrible.

Yeah that "guts" short story is just nasty.

Whatever dude. I put a fire extinguisher up my ass all the time.

  On 3/9/2010 at 11:52 PM, Braintree said:

Whatever dude. I put a fire extinguisher up my ass all the time.

Is that so you can cum stupid hard?

this is so me.

  On 3/9/2010 at 10:42 PM, xxx said:

Keltoi, I know you're a good poster but I don't know anything else about your writing chops. You're sitting on a really good short story--tragic as it may be. It would take research into gastroenterology and extinguisher chemistry and fun stuff like that but...dunno, where it hurts the most is where it entertains the most for some sick reason for us.

 

The whole sleeping thing completely supports and confirms the ring of Gyges myth of absolute anonymity and "what would you do?" type thing. You have to laugh at the morbidity--are you going to reposition their neck to ensure a more restful sleep?, carry them to a more comfortable spot if you're ape enough to lift them?, get them an extra comforter? Nope. You're gonna put spliffs out on their forehead, fart in their mouths, "antique" them with flour, kick them in the nuts et al. etc, etc, etc, probably since we were capuchins.

 

Also makes me think of "Hostel." What do you want to do with this beautiful person who is utterly "all yours"? A vanilla fuck, a brief apology and a ticket home? No, I'm gonna fucking cut your toes off, see what it's like to stick a welding torch to your clit, etc. "Oh" you gasp in disgust, "not ME!" Can you be sure? Are you that different?

As surely as i breathe, i know that i am.

  On 3/9/2010 at 10:42 PM, xxx said:

Keltoi, I know you're a good poster but I don't know anything else about your writing chops.

huh, The problem with this is, xxx, that if you get into too much detail, the reader may start to not give a shit. And even worse, if you continually follow this pattern of spending half a day, conceiving of how to better (extend) a single post. The reader will just turn away from anything you write entirely.

Just a note of caution, and yes. I am speaking from experience. (the turn away bit, not the spending half a day bit)

  On 3/9/2010 at 6:59 PM, Coalbucket PI said:

I think messing with people when they are asleep is dickhead behaviour.

Pretty much. So we can perhaps, safely assume that the guy that got hurt; given the company he keeps, was also a prat. So therefore have to feel less of tragedy in the situation than we might otherwise have done.

i dunno, unless he was a child molester i have plenty of sympathy for a guy whose insides were permanently destroyed while he was passed out.

Yes, well as long as your cognizant of the wot is wot. And didn't take my post harshly, that's fine then.

can you imagine being a young man with a colostomy bag? that's gotta be rough. i'm very thankful for my own health.

fucking frat boys. I bet they were all clean shaven.

Christ, that's fucking depressing. *starts drinking*

  On 3/10/2010 at 7:39 AM, xxx said:

  On 3/10/2010 at 7:13 AM, delet... said:

  On 3/9/2010 at 10:42 PM, xxx said:

Keltoi, I know you're a good poster but I don't know anything else about your writing chops.

 

huh, The problem with this is, xxx, that if you get into too much detail, the reader may start to not give a shit. And even worse, if you continually follow this pattern of spending half a day, conceiving of how to better (extend) a single post. The reader will just turn away from anything you write entirely.

 

Just a note of caution, and yes. I am speaking from experience. (the turn away bit, not the spending half a day bit)

 

I know. I know--this is inevitable, I know that probably 2% gets read but there's a compulsive aspect of it that serves me and WATMM or any of its members have nothing to do with it even though my only goal, in life altogether actually, is to get it crunk basically--to entertain. It goes overboard though.

 

But, I definitely didn't want to indicate that Keltoi was a schlub at writing or anything; I hope he didn't see it that way. I was trying to allude to the fact that I could envision a great Palahniuk, Barker, King, etc.-style short story out of his post and I should have said as much; it's not like the post itself wasn't a good read.

 

But I know that the hurricane tail is already gaining so...cheers m8

don't fret it xxx i took what you said as it was meant (i think).

i can see that this grim (short version for watmm) tale could beef up into a twisted, irvine welsh style short story or even novel... expanding on detail, establishing characters, the grim event, the deterioration of relationships, the gruelling surgeries and subsequent demise of the poor guy, the haunting of the jackasses... conscience, peer pressure, mob mentality, morals and allegiances...

and the moral to the story? fun at the expense of others will come back to get you in the end. somehow.

my writing chops have withered with age and disuse but i can see it all as you did.

also i like your enthusiasm for posts xxx. some people that write too much around here get on my tits and i scroll past them automatically, but you don't seem to. i don't always read everything you write but that's either due to my busyness or my short attention sp...

i can't be arsed writing more than my original post these days...

but i definately always believed that thing about everyone's got a novel inside them.

  On 3/10/2010 at 7:16 AM, delet... said:

  On 3/9/2010 at 6:59 PM, Coalbucket PI said:

I think messing with people when they are asleep is dickhead behaviour.

 

Pretty much. So we can perhaps, safely assume that the guy that got hurt; given the company he keeps, was also a prat. So therefore have to feel less of tragedy in the situation than we might otherwise have done.

i dunno man, in every group of dicks there's a decent, quiet guy who is the butt of all jokes... deep down he hates his 'friends' but they're all he's got and for him it's better than having no pals at all which might be his only other choice due to his poor social skills... maybe he had been pressured into drinking copious shots he knew he could never handle to try and fit in, or he was spiked by these pricks...

anyway i don't see him as an automatic douche by association.