OYSTERS

Hey there guys.

Over the last year or 2, I've developed a strong liking toward this yummy little snot-balls.

I've never had a similar eating experience to compare of that with raw oysters.

It can literally wash you with a wave of euphoria like some mild narcotic. I don't know how it works.

So, last Monday, my fiancee and I went to our favorite fancy seafood place in SoHo on a whim and got 16 oysters (all from different regions, in pairs) to split... just oysters. They were all awesome and delicious until the last one. Each of us had the same reaction to the last oyster, almost like a sort of stomach acid squirt or something. When we got home we each had a shot of vodka and thought "that was that". We were wrong.

The next day, I had to go on another photo shoot. I'm sure a few of you can guess where this is going.

The morning was nothing out of the ordinary. In the afternoon, I started running to the bathroom every half hour to spray foul, watery shits. Long story short, the job was for 3 days in a studio (luckily not on some isolated beach, like last time), but it was with the same people from the beach job where I had flaming magma shooting out of my ass for 4 days. They basically all think I just get the shits from nerves on big jobs, which is totally embarrassing and not the case, whatsoever.

My spigot-ass condition lasted all week and up thru today (this morning I almost had a solid movement but it was basically a solid poop-cork that was holding back a torrent of liquid shit ).

BTW... My fiancee has also had the runs since last Tuesday

I'm hoping I'm going to be back to normal tomorrow. It's been 8 days and I'm just about over running out in the middle of movies and holding back farts in-case they surprise me with a sneak attack of butt juice.

I also can't wait to eat me some more oysters. They are so fucking good.

youre a model?

  On 8/4/2010 at 3:40 AM, essines said:

youre a model?

No. I wish. I'm a video guy.

I just shit in front of models.

can i get a print-out of oyster smiling?

i gotta try some oysters. I remember that scene from madmen season 1 where the dude goes out with his boss for oysters, also the clip from i'm with busey (lol) where busey takes that kid out for oysters and busey shows the world how its done, just a drizzle of saucfe and slurpin that shit down, looked amazing.

Update: I just had diarrhea again.

2 hours later... I'm on the pot again, spraying the bowl.

I can hear and feel swishing in my guts. Not good.

I have another job on Monday. This is gonna suck.

That look like my kinda place!

I bet I could get some wicked diarrhea there!

dude this totally sucks.

also... 8 days!

might want to tell a doctor if pepto or immodium are not working by now. i hope you are drinking shit loads of water and gatorade (the latter to replace the electrolytes) and you're avoiding alcohol.

I haven't tried immodium yet. I had some pepto a few nights ago and sprayed it out.

I guess I thought I'd try to let it run it's course.

I don't have health insurance, so I'm holding off on seeing a doctor. Luckily, I'm not vomiting.

I have been trying to drink a lot of water. The other day, I polished off a large bottle of Grape Pedialyte with lunch.

That stuff is expensive but it tastes really fucking good.

*edit*

I definitely stay away from booze, in general. That isn't a concern.

The best thing about diarrhea for 8 days straight is that I'm losing a fair amount of weight. Instead of going to the Y, from now on, I should just get food poisoning.

Keep up with the Pedialyte. . .

but also, you might need to eat the massive cost and head to the ER or a cheapo clinic soon. That's too long to have the runs, and usually this shit (lol) is self-limiting to just a few days.

gotta be real careful with seafood...some potentially very nasty shit in that stuff... yeah er, go to a doctor.

i had a brilliant half dozen last week on my birthday all the way from New Zealand, that had a natural watermelon taste to them. delicious.

First, Oysters (in any form) are fucking disgusting and smell like a fish's ass.

Second, I am highly tempted to change xxx's display name to Doctor WATMM, MD

  On 8/4/2010 at 11:06 AM, xxx said:

Okay Jefferoo, here we are again!!!

 

Do you think you could talk yourself into eating just...normal fucking shit like, eh, a coldcut sandwich? Where the meats had stayed properly cooled and the bread was fresh? Huh? Millions of people everyday don't have real-time ass threads spew because they just eat, right, man, you know? Not like, "I'm on a beach shoot and uh, the locals just pulled something from the slimy foam that comes in on tide and it's about, oh, 87 F and tastes, like sour and smells a little bit like your scrotum after you've beaten off all day and didn't shower. Oh well, we'll see tomorrow"

 

PLAAOOOOOWWWWW TOILET BOMBS

 

First off, I would need to know about the body of water from which those oysters came from. Secondly, dem motherfuckers gettin' fried like a motherfucker. I know, I know, Tony Bourdain talks about his first culinary jizzbomb by shooting them raw and having them fight back in his throat or whatever. That guy also shot junk for decades. Got nothing but love for TB though.

 

Here's the deal. I eat weird shit but take a hint from the ages. When I eat Korean food loaded with kim chee and other pickled vegetables it's not just for the taste and vitamin preservation. That shit is a natural killer. So, the questionable meat ball you just ate got pummeled by the salt and acid and capsaicin of the kim chee. Now, I know you had a shot of vodka but TOO LATE. You would've needed to fill your gut with vodka to do anything about a foul oyster then you puke/shit either way!

 

Look man, you're a photographer--demanding, competitive business, you can't be shitting your life away. Either look into Depends or just fuckin eat, like, a Lunchables or some shit!

I don't normally eat weird shit. It is a real treat for me when I do.

The majority of my diet consists of bananas and whole wheat breads.

  On 8/4/2010 at 4:04 PM, Joy Rex said:

First, Oysters (in any form) are fucking disgusting and smell like a fish's ass.

 

Second, I am highly tempted to change xxx's display name to Doctor WATMM, MD

Fried oysters are fucking gross.

  On 8/4/2010 at 11:06 AM, xxx said:

Okay Jefferoo, here we are again!!!

 

Do you think you could talk yourself into eating just...normal fucking shit like, eh, a coldcut sandwich? Where the meats had stayed properly cooled and the bread was fresh? Huh? Millions of people everyday don't have real-time ass threads spew because they just eat, right, man, you know? Not like, "I'm on a beach shoot and uh, the locals just pulled something from the slimy foam that comes in on tide and it's about, oh, 87 F and tastes, like sour and smells a little bit like your scrotum after you've beaten off all day and didn't shower. Oh well, we'll see tomorrow"

 

PLAAOOOOOWWWWW TOILET BOMBS

 

First off, I would need to know about the body of water from which those oysters came from. Secondly, dem motherfuckers gettin' fried like a motherfucker. I know, I know, Tony Bourdain talks about his first culinary jizzbomb by shooting them raw and having them fight back in his throat or whatever. That guy also shot junk for decades. Got nothing but love for TB though.

 

Here's the deal. I eat weird shit but take a hint from the ages. When I eat Korean food loaded with kim chee and other pickled vegetables it's not just for the taste and vitamin preservation. That shit is a natural killer. So, the questionable meat ball you just ate got pummeled by the salt and acid and capsaicin of the kim chee. Now, I know you had a shot of vodka but TOO LATE. You would've needed to fill your gut with vodka to do anything about a foul oyster then you puke/shit either way!

 

Look man, you're a photographer--demanding, competitive business, you can't be shitting your life away. Either look into Depends or just fuckin eat, like, a Lunchables or some shit!

lol

i don't like sewage filters.

Yeah oysters are ok. Generally not good enough to warrant the price though, IMHO

  On 8/4/2010 at 11:06 AM, xxx said:

Okay Jefferoo, here we are again!!!

 

Do you think you could talk yourself into eating just...normal fucking shit like, eh, a coldcut sandwich? Where the meats had stayed properly cooled and the bread was fresh? Huh? Millions of people everyday don't have real-time ass threads spew because they just eat, right, man, you know? Not like, "I'm on a beach shoot and uh, the locals just pulled something from the slimy foam that comes in on tide and it's about, oh, 87 F and tastes, like sour and smells a little bit like your scrotum after you've beaten off all day and didn't shower. Oh well, we'll see tomorrow"

 

PLAAOOOOOWWWWW TOILET BOMBS

 

First off, I would need to know about the body of water from which those oysters came from. Secondly, dem motherfuckers gettin' fried like a motherfucker. I know, I know, Tony Bourdain talks about his first culinary jizzbomb by shooting them raw and having them fight back in his throat or whatever. That guy also shot junk for decades. Got nothing but love for TB though.

 

Here's the deal. I eat weird shit but take a hint from the ages. When I eat Korean food loaded with kim chee and other pickled vegetables it's not just for the taste and vitamin preservation. That shit is a natural killer. So, the questionable meat ball you just ate got pummeled by the salt and acid and capsaicin of the kim chee. Now, I know you had a shot of vodka but TOO LATE. You would've needed to fill your gut with vodka to do anything about a foul oyster then you puke/shit either way!

 

Look man, you're a photographer--demanding, competitive business, you can't be shitting your life away. Either look into Depends or just fuckin eat, like, a Lunchables or some shit!

Another reason why xxx is the most underrated member on this board. Fucking gold

  On 8/4/2010 at 4:04 PM, Joy Rex said:

First, Oysters (in any form) are fucking disgusting and smell like a fish's ass.

 

Second, I am highly tempted to change xxx's display name to Doctor WATMM, MD

You are insane. I don't get you joyrex. god damn. I'd love to shake your hand one day.

Thread was good. xxx made it great.