Office Semantics

I e-mail between 50-75 different people on a daily basis. Asking them to do this, confirm that or acknowledging stuff.

There's one particular woman I deal with, who commands me to carry out enquiries, that uses exclamation marks on the end of ordinary sentences.

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The Studios Costa Mar are for S10 not W10!

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Yes it is the same content!

Is she shouting at me? I want to e-mail her back and tell her I don't appreciate her use of exclamation marks, but at that point I might as well stick a pencil up my arse and run out of the office crying.

Anyone? Nah.

you should reply in ALL CAPS

  On 9/2/2010 at 2:04 PM, Eggs said:

is she hot? exclamations usually mean they are horny.

Reply with double exclamation marks!!

You just have to live with the fact that she is retarded.

we've got this supplier that calls me hunnny-bunny, lover, sugar and sweets.

i've never seen her but i imagine she is smokin hot with fish nets, suspenders, stilletos, black pencil skirt and silk blouse unbuttoned (no bra).

i like it.

  On 9/2/2010 at 1:58 PM, Gary C said:

I e-mail between 50-75 different people on a daily basis. Asking them to do this, confirm that or acknowledging stuff.

 

There's one particular woman I deal with, who commands me to carry out enquiries, that uses exclamation marks on the end of ordinary sentences.

 

  Quote

The Studios Costa Mar are for S10 not W10!

  Quote

Yes it is the same content!

 

Is she shouting at me? I want to e-mail her back and tell her I don't appreciate her use of exclamation marks, but at that point I might as well stick a pencil up my arse and run out of the office crying.

 

Anyone? Nah.

Try sticking random emphatic markers in your emails to her. For example:

Yes, it is totally the same content.

My favorite is the smile that keeps on going. I don't know if it's supposed to be tracers or multiple mouths or chin fat rolls.

:)))))

Some of my clients have unusual parlance:

TO: ********

FM: *********

GOOD DAY

RE: ANGLO SAPM

COULD YOU PS CHECK SPAM FILTER FOR ANY MSGS FROM THE DOMAIN *****.com WHITE LIST & FORWARD THEM PLS

They absolutely love their caps. Absolutely everyone in the company shouts politely over email.

Another client doesn't reply with smilies, she literally writes the emotion -smile

Weird.

It really bothers me when people email too bluntly, I think your basic 'Hi' or 'Dear ____' is needed for politeness. I MEAN ITS NOT A FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE for fucks sake!

I was thinking of just e-mailing her back, 'were you shouting in that last e-mail? I don't appreciate stressful e-mails'.

But I think it might be best to retort with an odd italicised word. She'll reply, asking me to confirm what I meant and then I'll tell her that it's annoying when people use odd textual inferences.

I sometimes drop a smiley in my e-mails, but only when we've been back-and-forthing for a while and we've resorted to one sentence messages. I think it helps to keep a personal and jovial sense to what has probably degraded into affirmations.

In other news; I'm going to start looking/applying for new jobs again. I said I'd give myself 'til Christmas, get 6 months here, but I think I can justify beginning to look in September.

tell her to fuck off!!!

(drive it home with impact font)

she definitely wants some.

well obviously we have a rapist in lincoln park!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i thought this was gonna be a post about jewish people in the office!

B.J Novak is writing a script about this thread for a future "The Office" Episode

occasionally i sign my more mundane emails with

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From a wild weird clime that lieth, sublime,

Out of SPACE — out of TIME.

  On 9/2/2010 at 2:40 PM, jhonny said:

  On 9/2/2010 at 2:04 PM, Eggs said:

is she hot? exclamations usually mean they are horny.

Reply with double exclamation marks!!

Or an odd ¡.

Why not end every sentence with an exclamation mark yourself!

If she asks why, say you thought you'd give it a go, too!