I finally made voice contact with this girl I fell in love with

I am appreciably the better speaker, the wiser, funnier, more fluent, confident, entertaining, diverse, broad angled bird's-eye master of the game. This is the second time in two weeks I've intended to mack a girl who presents herself boldly over the internet but is too shy in person to have fun, express some feelings, laugh, and be real (fuck me).

The first was with a very cute asian girl. I went to a panda bear show with her.

I like asians. She was shy as fuck! I could tell she was comfortable around me and felt well taken care of. I could get her to laugh pretty easily. But the amount of energy she would openly express was just pitiable. Everything came out in whispers and as questions. She was totally uncertain of herself. She wouldn't sleep with me when I asked. And she didn't dance at the show. Yawn.

Today:

This other girl, with whom I have written something like 150 pages of thoughts back and forth, spoke with me today. I talked to several friends on the tele- in the afternoon to warm up to her (i was nervous.) and now am sure that I have become a more excellent speaker and listener and navigator of live ideas and situations than I knew. I also experienced how the energetic chemistry between two people in a conversation is crucial. I felt really whole speaking to my friend Casey, like my entire self was involved, the humor, the intellect, the interested listener. The whole thing fit. Anyway, I spoke well in all three of my conversations today (this, along with empathy and ecstatic build-ups are my measure of myself as a social being) and I think I could easily conquer society and am less worried about moving back to the world now.

But She...

I think she is cute. I really want to cuddle with her and hear her deepest thoughts and all her fears and fuck her passionately and then cuddle with her bum sitting on my crotch all night. I was more attracted to her for keeping up with, surpassing, and encouraging my ideas than her appearance, but i am all about making love to girls who attract me in any way.

When we talked I immediately picked up on a layer of her emotional system which is struggling with itself, both to release and to hold back energized information. IT is a challenge speaking to a person with a resistance to their own emotions. All of her natural excitability going to waste on some fear. PHew-ii. This resistance is a sort of constipative battle between a rich and receptive inner world and its folding back into itself, rather than moving outward toward the provocative world-objects. Anyway, the symptoms were as follows: instead of letting her voice convey any emotion she held everything back and sounded like she was croaking. Only when I layed stress on a "PARDON?" was she startled into speaking at a more appropriate, but still badly severed (from the source of her...) ... emotional resonance for a few seconds before dozing off back into her super timid butthole clenching extravaganza.

Her voice was really really pretty and felt like sugar on my ears when she actually used it. But most of the time she was crackling for lack of expressive energy. I was hoping she was sick, but she wasn't. she spoke... in... a... jer...ky..... way... the... whole.... time... bas..ically.... which was the second symptom of her constipation, and which got worse as the conversation went on (for about an hour). I say all this stuff but I reserve judgment (as a horny and love-hungry man's attempt to keep a false dream steaming). So to justify that, I think the entire universe was the cause and set of conditions pertinent to our conversation and so I can't really say I learned anything about her as an independent being. Maybe once I "plumb" her she will gush more easily. Maybe she's shy for the first three hours. She's never had a boyfriend before and never got asked to any of her high school dances. So I probably am making her hella nervous by being interested in her. She never skips class. She sounds like such a diffident rigid cunt, but I like her. The trouble is I am in this situation where i am more interested in healing this person now than having anything romantic to do with her. This is what happened a few months back when I was about to put my meat in my friend D____ and couldn't because she had so much body-armor on. So much persona. So little human being. How am I to connect with so much fear cramping her essence? Have you guys ever gotten close to a really shy woman? What do you think? What the fuck am I asking this for? You are all virgins.

I give the quality of the conversation a 5/10 - that's 4/5 for me + 1/5 for her. I did not at all expect this. Not. at. all.

hey 24 lets play sc lol

see u in channel zx.

Shy girls have scary secrets.

Very nice. That gets me pretty hot. I know her dad passed away a few years ago. I wonder if she is still bottled up from that. :-(

Just be careful, yo.

Someone find me the biggest picture of facepalm they can, stat!

  On 9/22/2010 at 8:14 AM, chenGOD said:

Someone find me the biggest picture of facepalm they can, stat!

yeah for real.

  On 9/22/2010 at 8:04 AM, MAXIMUS MISCHIEF said:

hey 24 lets play sc lol

i want to! dont have my gamin comp with me tonight

I really can't believe I made it through that whole post.

  On 9/22/2010 at 8:21 AM, 24ourange said:

  On 9/22/2010 at 8:04 AM, MAXIMUS MISCHIEF said:

hey 24 lets play sc lol

 

i want to! dont have my gamin comp with me tonight

dang... the new update came out today.. they didnt fix nearly enough.. bnet is still a piece of shit inferior to the SC1 one and marauders havent been touched...

Just realized I am also a little heartbroken.

here is a haiku about my feeling of loss and squeaking sense of responsibility for her way of behaving, realizing that I make phat investments in silhouettes of things

My solitude is a black ho'.

Sucking up all my love imaginings

things with the lights off are different

hey to find out if they are really right for you, send them a link to this thread. my soul/vagina mate likes to look at watmm. isn't that right, bunnee?

read this happycase:

reminds me of the way you write except yours isn't fictional

Stay at the cult farm and away from the rest of us.....

i think you're a jerk happycase and you deserve to be alone

so disturbing in this thread, I made some art for it to help deal with my stress:

A+ thread

here's a thought, find a girl who challenges you instead of going after shy girls just so you can call them "rigid cunts"

jesus christ

where the pandos ok?

is this picture taken while she listens to you?

  On 9/22/2010 at 2:02 PM, keltoi said:

is this picture taken while she listens to you?

 

lol

  On 9/22/2010 at 7:58 AM, happycase said:

Have you guys ever gotten close to a really shy woman?

Most girls I've had had a crush on were extremely introvert, yeah. I wanted to discover them so much, I can't really explain why. This might sound intriguing for you and me to get to know a girl who has never really confessed to a boy, but it mostly leads to disappointments, believe me.

can't even turn down sex with a guy without him posting your picture worldwide 2009

  On 9/22/2010 at 2:11 PM, fondles the cat said:

can't even turn down sex with a guy without him posting your picture worldwide 2009

pics or it didnt happen 2010

I don't really get it. Maybe someone here (or yourself) can explain.

What's the purpose of this treatise exactly? It seems to me that you wax philosophical to a group of anonymous men about various women you're attracted to in order to gain cache and find some shred of acceptance because beyond the realm of anonymity (i.e. WATMM) you essentially are an outcast with no chance of acceptance with women or and to a lesser extent men. You desperately try to appear in control and high-handed by providing inflammatory remarks to the very people who are in fact in control of your goal: your acceptance and ultimate assimilation. You call the women you want to sleep with (one element of your desire for societal acceptance) "rigid cunts;" disrespecting them as people and instead treating them only as a necessary obstacle in the path to success. Then you disrespect the peoples' whose attention you are so pathetically vying for. "You're all virgins anyway," sadly sends the subtext of "If I act dismissive to them, it hopefully undercuts the seriousness, time and effort clearly evident in my pathetic post." Is that close to what you were thinking? You are a sadcase.