Door-to-door salesmen, Telemarketers

Yeah we all get them from time to time, sometimes when you just want to sit down with a Pepsi and eat a sandwich. How do you deal with em? Most of the time I try to act polite and just say 'sorry, not interested brozizzle. wish you luck, though' and hang up/close the door, but other times when I'm not in the mood I go all IDM on their asses.

This afternoon some people from a tire store nearby came along and got all up in my bizdizzle about wanting to come down there and check out some new tires, being real persistent and actually standing in the door. I was like 'You guys must have the worst job in the world. God damn how fuckin dumb do you think I am?" and slammed the door on those fools!!! dayum!!

fondle them

I bring them in and show them this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo

MAKE THEM BUY SOME WORTHLESS SHIT FROM YOUR HOUSE

I don't have this problem but here are my recs:

Evil eye / close the door.

Merzbow / hang up.

don't let them leave

"I do not appreciate unwarranted solicitation, please never fucking ever attempt to communicate with me again, thank you" is approximately how I approach my response to those types.

(Unflattering fact: I used to do telemarketing with AOL for almost a year...)

*builds hatred backlash bunker*

I used to do telemarketing and statistically it was a no thanks, not interested. problem is that everybody says this, even those who eventually buy, we were trained to argue through that.

either waste their time if you want to fuck them over (lord knows some deserve it) or say no and actively hang up.

with telemarketers I hang up right away without saying anything.

with door-to-door people I just be myself and they usually get uneasy and say goodbye pretty quickly.

  On 10/5/2010 at 8:30 AM, Eggs said:

i ask them "hey what do you think of this?" and then start beatboxxxin.

oh lol, i want to try this ^^

as well as salesmen/telemarketers, i really really fucken hate charity people in the city.

i'll be walking in one direction to a store, and some cunts dressed in blue will eye me down. and i'll ignore them, and they'll walk up to me all smiling like "HI, do you have a minute to talk about the situation in.." and i'll reply "sorry, no. no thanks"

and then they have the most aggravating tactic of laughing it of and replying like "oh come on, don't be like that, it'll only take a few moments. did you know that.." "NO REALLY NOT INTERESTED THANKS." and they'll just continue and walk along with me, trying to be all chummy and get some interest out of me, before they finally give up and tell me to have a nice day.

i mean, i know they're at least doing it for good reasons and whatnot, but god fucken damn i fucken hate them to death.

If telesales call me in the office I just say "Is this a sales call? Yes? Then jog on." They don't tend to argue past that.

Thankfully don't get any door to door sales people, but we have our fair share of jehovas witnesses. I've developed a really good tactic that always works for these stubborn folk. Ask them to hold on one second, then run to another room, strip down to my boxers and return to the door. They get really uneasy about that and leave you alone pretty soon. I discovered this great tactic when I was ill one morning and they woke me up, so I answered the door in my boxers and they made it really brief (lol).

http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

I guess you can always start talking about Lichens. See how that works out.

  On 10/5/2010 at 11:17 AM, Obel said:

Thankfully don't get any door to door sales people, but we have our fair share of jehovas witnesses. I've developed a really good tactic that always works for these stubborn folk. Ask them to hold on one second, then run to another room, strip down to my boxers and return to the door. They get really uneasy about that and leave you alone pretty soon. I discovered this great tactic when I was ill one morning and they woke me up, so I answered the door in my boxers and they made it really brief (lol).

Lol.

Also great tips: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/jehovahs-dilemma.php?page=1

stop answer the door/phone

i say "sales call? ... not interested!". hang up.

jeohovahs get a look up and down as i suss who/what they are and a sharp "not interested!" before they say a word... close door.

i'm slightly more polite with salesmen. i might say "sorry, no thanks!". close door.

there used to be loads of bible thumpers in edinburgh on north bridge asking would i like to come and talk about the bible... i'd just laugh and say "would i fuck!".