the blues

what a shitty week i've had...started with my friend from high school OD'ing on Heroine and dying, going broke, parents finding out i spent all my cash (subtract books) in the first six weeks of college on drugs and alcohol (they want to pull me out or some shit), major lack of sleep from too much homework (and i've got an awful cold) girl i was beginning to see maybe 3 weeks ago ditched me and has begun hooking up with my next door fucking neighbor (walls are pretty thin in the dorms) but i'm still acting a fool and embarrassing myself around her and that's the shittiest. my friend's funeral was this morning, had a little breakdown by myself afterwords.. i've been trying to quit cigarettes but i caved today.

so if anyone out there has got it worse please share and make me feel better??

this might cheer you up a bit...

[youtubehd]KNHLywCfnHI[/youtubehd]

*momentarily adopts skytree voice*

shittyness tends to be transient and i know it is trite to say hang in there, but hang in there!

perhaps you could take this as a wake-up call. put your own drug & alcohol usage on the back burner for a bit

and focus on college and other more important things.

i am empty inside. the world has no place for me. actually it does. i'll be fine.

fact is, i've moved on to a new place in my life. my friends are great, i love them, but i think it is time to say goodbye in many ways. everyone drags me down. there is no purpose.

and what purpose there is, is bullshit. anything you think is meaningful, isn't.

anything anybody says is complete bullshit. even the really deep, simple, and wonderful things.

i don't have fun at social events. i am depressed, sick of vapidness, full of vapidness, constantly going out of my head.

i am dry. i am nothing. i am always happy, i am always miserable. nothing satisfies. the moment is constantly engaging.

i am full of an extreme hatred for everything. i am disgusted constantly.

i am full of an extreme, unrequited love for everything. i cry daily during the most random moments. i feel emotion in small, meaningless things.

no matter how beautiful something is, i can destroy it, i compulsively destroy everything.

99.99999% of the world looks down on me, thinks i am a freak. i am a freak.

but so is the rest of the fucking world, and it disgusts me.

i embrace suicide, murder, rape, and everything is absurd and hilarious. the worst people are ok with me (until i'm threatened).

i don't fucking care at all, and i care so, so fucking much.

all in all i am perfectly fine. but nobody is worse off.

i can't wait to die, but when i feel like i might die, i am horrified and pray to live.

i really feel fine, and i love life. but the dark side is in full effect, every moment, and it's important to me.

before you tell me to relax, or joke around, i already am. no reason to say a single thing.

everything i've just written is proof that it's hopeless.

however, i feel the everlasting OKness.

i've just realized my purpose:

for all people like me, full of the nothingness, the misery, even if for a moment, i want to be there to remind them:

there are others like you. they are there. they feel it too. so keep going, like them.

Listen to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOp5XhNdPUU

Damn, That really is worth having the blues over. You'll be super strong after this. You are in for the pendulum swing of extreme positivity after this extreme negativity, Im sure. Just soldier through it. Sucks about your neighbor. Fuck

if it makes you feel any better, while reading that post the reflection of my face in my laptop screen lined up perfectly with the moustache in your sig

  On 10/17/2010 at 7:12 PM, 24ourange said:

if it makes you feel any better, while reading that post the reflection of my face in my laptop screen lined up perfectly with the moustache in your sig

  On 10/17/2010 at 10:06 AM, Plum said:

*momentarily adopts skytree voice*

 

shittyness tends to be transient and i know it is trite to say hang in there, but hang in there!

perhaps you could take this as a wake-up call. put your own drug & alcohol usage on the back burner for a bit

and focus on college and other more important things.

  On 10/17/2010 at 10:46 AM, ericsosh said:

Listen to this song:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOp5XhNdPUU

  On 10/17/2010 at 11:04 AM, marf said:

Damn, That really is worth having the blues over. You'll be super strong after this. You are in for the pendulum swing of extreme positivity after this extreme negativity, Im sure. Just soldier through it. Sucks about your neighbor. Fuck

  On 10/17/2010 at 7:12 PM, 24ourange said:

if it makes you feel any better, while reading that post the reflection of my face in my laptop screen lined up perfectly with the moustache in your sig

thank you dudes i'm feeling a lot better this morning..definitely gotten a drug wake up call and i'm going to cut back until i can afford them. D'angelo is helping me out a lot on this one.

something up in me gotta be

sole controller in control of me

a link in your chain, just won't do

i don't want nothing to do with you...

this album always picked me up when i had the blues

i hope it does the same for you as it did for me

one love, mon.

i've been drinking for about 5 days straight as my friend killed himself, i nearly lost my finger to an infection, got hit by a car and attacked by a homeless man.

but the last 36 hours have been awesome as shit so i feel fucking awesome.

Hey Dude.

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

Just take a long hot bath and remember that this shit will all be yesterdays news soon.

Stay off drugs and drinking. It only makes you feel worse.

Also, try a little exercise. It sounds stupid but it's been proven to boost one's spirits.

You'll also feel good treating your body well.

sorry to hear about all that mate, especially about your friend. the rest will sort itself with time surely.

  On 10/18/2010 at 5:24 AM, jefferoo said:

Hey Dude.

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

Just take a long hot bath and remember that this shit will all be yesterdays news soon.

Stay off drugs and drinking. It only makes you feel worse.

Also, try a little exercise. It sounds stupid but it's been proven to boost one's spirits.

You'll also feel good treating your body well.

all great advice, thank you. totally agree about exercise, it makes me feel great but i've been too "busy" getting stoned lately...that's all gonna change in a major way

  On 10/18/2010 at 5:39 AM, Blanket Fort Collapse said:

that was chicken soup for the soul yo

  On 10/18/2010 at 1:57 AM, Eggs said:

grabbed this from youtube thread. might cheer you up.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czV9rnx-0Gk&feature=player_embedded

that worked too hahaha