create a new sport

I have created a new sport. It's just at the conceptual stage but worth sharing.

This is a 2 player sport, played on a snooker table with a rail that goes round the edge of the table. Both players are chained to the rail for the duration of the game with the ability to travel right around the table. The aim is to either win the game of snooker or to beat your opponent into submission. You aren't allowed to move for 2 seconds after you have taken your shot in order to give your opponent a small window of time to shoot before being attacked.

I'd like to hear your suggestions about my game and/or any ideas you have for new and innovative sports

you should use short cues so you can't poke your opponent from across the table

call it Snuk'em.

man1: fancy a quick game of Snuk'em?

man2: yes, okay. i must warn you though, i'm pretty good at Snuk'em.

man1: me too. how many murderdeathkills you got?

man2: 42... 6 of those are by decapitation.

man1: sweet!

snuk'em lol

Also, you could settle pub arguments playing snuk'em without worry of police interference

Can you use the balls to beat your opposition?

  On 10/23/2010 at 5:02 PM, Plum said:

how many murderdeathkills you got?

Without the rail we call that 'the weekend'.

I can't divulge too much, as there are still some details yet to be finalized.

But lets just say, both Rambo & myself have had some very interesting PMs,

from lets just say, a very successful developer of sports video games.

cock cock dick, it's a variant of duck duck goose, and i'm sure some of you are already very good at it... i don't play, myself

two teams of ten compete over who can fill a telephone box more with their shit.

  On 10/25/2010 at 8:32 PM, chassis said:

Can you use the balls to beat your opposition?

We have a very strict framework of allowable violence and yes this does fall well within that framework. Only the 'permananetly potted' balls can be used as weapons though so after you start potting the reds they are allowable and then eventually the colours.

I'll be honest this is all extremely promising watmm. I hope it's a big success.

  On 10/25/2010 at 10:05 PM, Rambo said:

  On 10/25/2010 at 8:32 PM, chassis said:

Can you use the balls to beat your opposition?

 

We have a very strict framework of allowable violence and yes this does fall well within that framework. Only the 'permananetly potted' balls can be used as weapons though so after you start potting the reds they are allowable and then eventually the colours.

 

I'll be honest this is all extremely promising watmm. I hope it's a big success.

As with any sport, hydration is an issue. What beverages are allowed in this game. Water will give you the hydrated edge over your opposition. But is beer permitted? If Im drunk I probably wont submit even if im getting raped with a snooker ball. Also I foresee problems with vodka as it may be poured in wounds.

Hydration certainly is an issue, Chassis. These are all great questions and i cant pretend that we have answers for all of them but i can assure you that absolutely no beverages will be allowed to be rested on the snooker table at any point.

What about mixed doubles?

I mean bringing a lady friend along. I like to stick a snooker rest up a random girl's whiskers wahina on a Saturday night anyway.

your opponent's tears are the only acceptable sources of your rehydration in snuk'em.

I hadn't thought about doubles. I can only assume that doubles would be truly gruesome events only enjoyed by maniacs. There's no pretense when it comes to Snuk'em doubles matches, just a pure unadulterated war of attrition. It cunjures up images of Snuk'em tables found round the back of bowling alleys or pub in carparks as an attempted legal front for gang violence.

I've just killed a mosquito by throwing a clothes hanger at it. Beat that Mr Miyagi you weird old bastard. Sorry, had to tell somebody.

Edit:Actually that's not a bad idea. Man armed only with hanger versus progressively larger animals. I reckon I could do up to a horse, not sure about anything beyond that.

i've been jotting down some taglines...

snuk'em before they snuk'em you!

snuk'em or be snuk'd.

takes two to snuk'em.

two men enter, one snuk'em leaves.

And the referee has to be John Virgo?

I like the idea of televised Snuk'em being played in silence just like snooker.

for those interested in snuk'em, a complete set of the rules can be found at the official snuk'em website: adriansbathrooms.co.uk

  On 10/25/2010 at 10:33 PM, Rambo said:

Hydration certainly is an issue, Chassis. These are all great questions and i cant pretend that we have answers for all of them but i can assure you that absolutely no beverages will be allowed to be rested on the snooker table at any point.

If this you can guarantee Rambo, I'm happy. We cant have the playing surface compromised. Then were no better than animals.

  On 10/25/2010 at 11:05 PM, chassis said:

  On 10/25/2010 at 10:33 PM, Rambo said:

Hydration certainly is an issue, Chassis. These are all great questions and i cant pretend that we have answers for all of them but i can assure you that absolutely no beverages will be allowed to be rested on the snooker table at any point.

 

If this you can guarantee Rambo, I'm happy. We cant have the playing surface compromised. Then were no better than animals.

It's a gentleman's game. Formal dinner suit only. Perhaps a slightly outre bow tie or waistcoat for the personality players.

Indeed.

*chalks cue*

I've gone for the waistcoat with nothing worn underneath and sealed with a white bow tie.

  On 10/25/2010 at 10:36 PM, Plum said:

your opponent's tears are the only acceptable sources of your rehydration in snuk'em.

No blood drinking? What if it's mixed in with the tears?