being rejected

im curious even though im sure it's been discussed one way or another, how any of you deal with rejection in your day to day lives. Being rejected artistically, from friends, family, strangers, anything. How do you deal with being rejected from something, how does your ego handle not being what it was before. How do you let something just be what it is without attaching a great deal of your emotions to it?

Can't really beat yourself up about shit too much if keep the The Four Agreements in mind a little.

"

*Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

*Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

*Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

*Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love

"

You are not your successes and failures.

  On 12/12/2010 at 12:59 AM, Blanket Fort Collapse said:

*Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Also, this.

One might say "haters gonna hate"

If its just random rejection on no grounds, its fucking easy to deal with. I really couldn't give a shit if someone I dont know/respect says something hurtful.

If someone I do respect criticizes me, its usually constructive (that goes for anything I do). But fuck it like, Im not perfect and no one is.

  On 12/12/2010 at 1:08 AM, Lascaille said:

  On 12/12/2010 at 12:59 AM, Blanket Fort Collapse said:

*Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

Also, this.

indeed, pure truthbullets.

Fuck'em

looks good on paper. Hard to implement. Good advice though

  On 12/12/2010 at 4:06 AM, marf said:

looks good on paper. Hard to implement. Good advice though

you dont need any of that shit anyway marf, you've got the hat.

I knew a guy that truly didnt care about rejection. He would stand out front of a concert after it let out and ask every girl if she would like to have sex with him. He figured one out of 100 would say yes. He was right.

  On 12/12/2010 at 4:29 AM, marf said:

I knew a guy that truly didnt care about rejection. He would stand out front of a concert after it let out and ask every girl if she would like to have sex with him. He figured one out of 100 would say yes. He was right.

Holy fuck, thats genius. Finally, a practical use for statistics.

Downside is you probably have to have low standards.

  On 12/12/2010 at 12:53 AM, david said:

im curious even though im sure it's been discussed one way or another, how any of you deal with rejection in your day to day lives. Being rejected artistically, from friends, family, strangers, anything. How do you deal with being rejected from something, how does your ego handle not being what it was before. How do you let something just be what it is without attaching a great deal of your emotions to it?

Usually weeping while rocking back and forth in fetal position in a dark room.

Rambo, you make a me laugh like we used to in the rice paddies :-)

Nothing takes the pain away like the sweet soothing bliss of heroin.

  On 12/12/2010 at 12:59 AM, Blanket Fort Collapse said:

Can't really beat yourself up about shit too much if keep the The Four Agreements in mind a little.

 

"

*Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

*Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

*Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

*Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love

"

This is good advice and makes me feel better too actually.

I can't really speak for everyone but personally I have very little confidence in myself, but I am working to fight against that and doing pretty good... compared to like... 6 months ago I'm like a different person. But sometimes things can trigger me off still... and I have set backs... but I'm picking myself back up again, and feel even stronger still.

I believe that things like this can be changed but they require a lot of strength... I'd say it's hard work but it's mostly about how you think... although it's good to write things down (so depends if you consider writing hard work. If you feel as though the pain of rejection is so strong that it's interrupting the general flow of life, I would strongly recommend therapy, you won't regret it!

you learn to condense feelings of rejection into nightly sessions of crying and listening to music. then you can walk around with a smile the rest of the day! hahah... ha... oh no.

lol

  Quote

REJECTION THERAPY – THE GAME

 

consists of only one main rule…

YOU MUST BE REJECTED BY ANOTHER PERSON AT LEAST ONCE, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

 

Please notice the wording of the rule. It doesn’t say you must attempt or try to be rejected. The rule is you MUST be rejected by another human being. In this game, rejection is success.

 

No other outcome will meet the requirement of Rejection Therapy.

 

To put yourself in a situation where rejection is likely, but to your surprise your request is granted, is not a successful outcome. Why? Because you weren’t rejected. You didn’t ask for enough.

http://rejectiontherapy.com/rejection-therapy-faq/

  On 12/12/2010 at 6:28 AM, Springymajig said:

 

 

This is good advice and makes me feel better too actually.

 

I can't really speak for everyone but personally I have very little confidence in myself, but I am working to fight against that and doing pretty good... compared to like... 6 months ago I'm like a different person. But sometimes things can trigger me off still... and I have set backs... but I'm picking myself back up again, and feel even stronger still.

 

I believe that things like this can be changed but they require a lot of strength... I'd say it's hard work but it's mostly about how you think... although it's good to write things down (so depends if you consider writing hard work. If you feel as though the pain of rejection is so strong that it's interrupting the general flow of life, I would strongly recommend therapy, you won't regret it!

helps to try and get rejected. desensitize yourself

I think the best way to deal with rejection have been rejected alot. You then see that it's not so bad, and I've gotten the stretches of intense crying spurts down to about 2 months or so at a time now.

Kinda cheesy, but I always think you gotta be like water, let the hits roll off... like Bruce Lee's ideas: if you're flexible, you won't snap.. you can't be hard on anything or on yourself...

  On 12/12/2010 at 7:21 AM, marf said:

  On 12/12/2010 at 6:28 AM, Springymajig said:

 

 

This is good advice and makes me feel better too actually.

 

I can't really speak for everyone but personally I have very little confidence in myself, but I am working to fight against that and doing pretty good... compared to like... 6 months ago I'm like a different person. But sometimes things can trigger me off still... and I have set backs... but I'm picking myself back up again, and feel even stronger still.

 

I believe that things like this can be changed but they require a lot of strength... I'd say it's hard work but it's mostly about how you think... although it's good to write things down (so depends if you consider writing hard work. If you feel as though the pain of rejection is so strong that it's interrupting the general flow of life, I would strongly recommend therapy, you won't regret it!

 

 

helps to try and get rejected. desensitize yourself

This is true actually yes... fear/anxiety needs to be faced head on. The best thing for someone with social anxiety for example is to meet and talk to as many new people as possible.

So for people who fear rejection they should try not to ever avoid situations where they may be rejected.

I don't know if I do have a problem with rejection to be honest, certainly in a dating sense I do... but with other things? Not so much I don't think... but I don't know if maybe I just don't ask for much... But in work, if I want to propose a new idea of some sort I certainly wouldn't fear being rejected, I go straight ahead and say it. I think work is the thing I have by far the most confidence with.

Sorry... feel like I'm hijacking the thread a bit...

learn to realize there's far more pain in not living your life (making connections, developing skills, etc) than to procrastinate. the pain of being rejected, should feel less bad than the pain of doing nothing (which is essentially like being dead).

I think I just got used to it. The first few girls I really bottomed out with got me all shook up for ages but now I can sort of accept the rejection, I almost enjoy treating myself to a bit of self pity for a few days, listen to The Cure a lot etc and then move on

to quote Antoine Dodson, "we don't run around crying and acting sad, we just dust our shoulders off and keep it moving"

This really isn't a problem when you're better than everyone. Judge, and judge harshly.