If you were KING of your country

A hypothetical list of things I'd do in power.

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* National Anthem: ~~The Ramones - OH OH I LOVE HER SO~~

* No person will have more than $20 million. Private property limit of $10 million per person (exceptions to be made by my administration). Excess housing/land will be turned into public property gardens, or into free space for organizations we deem appropriate. Excess private property to be given overseas, either to governments, institutions, peoples, or individuals of my administrations agreeance, or otherwise donated.

* Dissolve all major corporations into smaller publicly-owned manageable systems. No more Wal-Mart :'( Life sentences for all national big business figures and accomplices (exceptions to be made by my administration). They will work 12 hour days as shit-shovelers, trench-diggers etc until they're dead.

* Complete overhaul of the food system. Fast food, production of GMO's, and otherwise artificial consumable products to be immediately outlawed. All GMO crops to be destroyed, soil repaired and made fit to grow organic crops. Real, wholesome, health-maintaining food will be cheap and closer to the marketplace. Drastically decreasing the need for medical care. (No obese kids with diabetes.)

* Assign 99% of NASA and other space-oriented organizations to figure out how to use all of the Pacific Plastic Flotilla for energy, as well as preventing total ice cap meltdown and further global warming.

* Withdraw all troops from Middle East. Start volunteer organizations to rebuild and give aid to civilians in areas we were involved with.

* Replace all asphalt roads/parking lots with solar LED panels, which would produce at least 3 times the electricity the entire country would need:

* Kids will learn to read, write, and speak at least 3 non-English languages starting from Kindergarten. The usual math/science curriculum will be present, but outweighed by global issues. Ecological, cultural, environmental, political, historical. Also, Tai-Chi, Kung fu, Wing chun, similar arts to be practiced all throughout schooling. (Balance the kid out. No ritalin allowed.)

* Those "God Hates Fags" people will live and work inside rodeo rings as rodeo clowns, they can not leave. And anybody else who fits the part.

* Any product made in a foreign country must be sold alongside pictures and information of the places and people who made them. (You'll get to see the condition of the persons who made your new thing.)

* Bill O'Reilly and other funny people like him may only talk through megaphones.

* All the money from the rich assholes will be used to set up enough farming land in starving countries to feed all who're hungry, as well as provide free and sufficient medical assistance for all.

* People will earn fitting wages to easily support themselves or their small families. Healthcare will be made free.

* In my vast reign of censorship and extermination, we will unfortunately lose figures such as Barbie, Hannah Montana, Tom Cruise, Justin Bieber, Nelly, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, and oh so many more hacks who fuck up our cool culture and who suffocate the immense creative and intellectual powers of da children. People and accomplices who designed products, music, tv shows, movies etc aimed at young kids will be given varying sentences in prison (exceptions to be made by my administration).

* All government operations, documents, and information, on every level, will be readily accessible to the public.

* Overhaul of Presidential Staff/Council/Advisory Committee Board etc... Offer positions to people of my choice, along the lines of Jello Biafra, Henry Rollins, Jim Goad, Eugene Hütz, Chris Walken, Samuel L Jackson, David Cross...

* All scientists and researchers actively involved in fossil fuel technology for vehicles will be assigned to developing a new free-energy method for getting us around. Major prizes for those who figure it out first.

* All TV programs to be wiped out, my administration will enable production of suitable programs for the intellectually-starved population. (No more Reality TV shows, dimwitted sitcoms, Simon Dipshit Cowell, and Dora the Explorer.)

* More rigorous comprehensive training to get a drivers license, no speed limits except in residential and inner city areas.

* License required to consume alcohol for all above 18. (Can't buy booze if you're likely to be an aggro drunk idiot)

* Gay marriage (fuckin-a), decriminalize pot.

* College/University is free.

* The Gerson Diet will be removed from the national BLACKLIST. Will be made a primary method of treatment for major illnesses and ailments, saving more lives and money.

* Relocate Osama bin Laden and his crew from the U.S.-operated tropical hideout/resort to the Hague.

* We'll take all the fuckheads off our cash and coins and put real American icons on them. James Brown, Bruce Lee, Marilyn Monroe, Clint Eastwood, Nina Simone, Michael Jordan, Iggy Pop, Johnny Cash...

* Reveal Area 51.

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my country doesnt have a king

  On 12/29/2010 at 7:07 AM, sup said:

my country doesnt have a king

:sup:

i'd hire someone else to run my country and just get drunk.

There would be no work on Sundays. My peasants, on this holy day, would in the spirit of giving, give away stuff to their neighbors and friends. Sunday is community and communication day. It is also a day to commune with nature, take drugs, and explore religious potentials. And so everyone would also receive from their neighbors and friends. Food, possessions someone else could make better use of, etc.

We would all explore our sexuality more openly. Everyone needs to be touched and penises and vaginas are really just part of nature. They deserve more exploration and attention than they get.

  On 12/29/2010 at 7:00 AM, cardan said:

 

* Replace all asphalt roads/parking lots with solar LED panels, which would produce at least 3 times the electricity the entire country would need:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

* Those "God Hates Fags" people will live and work inside rodeo rings as rodeo clowns, they can not leave. And anybody else who fits the part.

 

* Bill O'Reilly and other funny people like him may only talk through megaphones.

 

* All the money from the rich assholes will be used to set up enough farming land in starving countries to feed all who're hungry, as well as provide free and sufficient medical assistance for all.

 

* People will earn fitting wages to easily support themselves or their small families. Healthcare will be made free.

 

* In my vast reign of censorship and extermination, we will unfortunately lose figures such as Barbie, Hannah Montana, Tom Cruise, Justin Bieber, Nelly, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, and oh so many more hacks who fuck up our cool culture and who suffocate the immense creative and intellectual powers of da children. People and accomplices who designed products, music, tv shows, movies etc aimed at young kids will be given varying sentences in prison (exceptions to be made by my administration).

 

* All government operations, documents, and information, on every level, will be readily accessible to the public.

 

* Overhaul of Presidential Staff/Council/Advisory Committee Board etc... Offer positions to people of my choice, along the lines of Jello Biafra, Henry Rollins, Jim Goad, Eugene Hütz, Chris Walken, Samuel L Jackson, David Cross...

 

* All scientists and researchers actively involved in fossil fuel technology for vehicles will be assigned to developing a new free-energy method for getting us around. Major prizes for those who figure it out first.

 

* All TV programs to be wiped out, my administration will enable production of suitable programs for the intellectually-starved population. (No more Reality TV shows, dimwitted sitcoms, Simon Dipshit Cowell, and Dora the Explorer.)

 

* More rigorous comprehensive training to get a drivers license, no speed limits except in residential and inner city areas.

 

* License required to consume alcohol for all above 18. (Can't buy booze if you're likely to be an aggro drunk idiot)

 

* Gay marriage (fuckin-a)

 

* College/University is free.

 

* The Gerson Diet will be removed from the national BLACKLIST. Will be made a primary method of treatment for major illnesses and ailments, saving more lives and money.

 

* Relocate Osama bin Laden and his crew from the U.S.-operated tropical hideout/resort to the Hague.

 

* We'll take all the fuckheads off our cash and coins and put real American icons on them. James Brown, Bruce Lee, Marilyn Monroe, Clint Eastwood, Nina Simone, Michael Jordan, Iggy Pop, Johnny Cash...

 

* Reveal Area 51.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i love all of these. i'd love to see the day when we have Bruce Lee on paper money

  On 12/29/2010 at 7:00 AM, cardan said:

* The usual math/science curriculum will be present, but outweighed by global issues. Ecological, cultural, environmental, political

i'd rather die than sit through lectures about today's news.

I would ask every single member of my nation "why?" and listen to their full answer.

at the end, I would shoot myself.

also i would have a lot of sex.

i am a terrible person but at least i don't murder and consume dutch people.

I would put my beautiful face on all our money and stamps.

A life for a life sentences (lethal injection probably)

Reworking of all speed limits

You are legally obliged to beat up traffic wardens if they are acting like cunts

I would charge students even more if they continue to moan

That's all for now.

  On 12/29/2010 at 2:19 PM, spratters said:

I would charge students even more if they continue to moan

HAHAHA

this.

so much this.

You do realise that kings and queens do not have any saying in what goes on in their countries, right?

  On 12/29/2010 at 2:35 PM, Squee said:

You do realise that kings and queens do not have any saying in what goes on in their countries, right?

they are not kings or queens then

Lethal injection for all crimes. It will be a beautiful utopia where i will drink buckets of cream and pretend to have epileptic seizures on live tv. People will sing my name as i touch peoples foreheads and incorrectly guess their names. Despite this i will walk around like an unsurpassed name guesser at all times, with my chin held absurdly high as i wet myself and beat up kids. All peoples gardens will be lovely.

form a government

belgian joke lol

replace all weapons with bb guns, missiles will be replaced with a single bb bullet.

  On 12/29/2010 at 2:35 PM, Squee said:

You do realise that kings and queens do not have any saying in what goes on in their countries, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RskJZOoY34

:sup:

  On 12/29/2010 at 6:48 PM, Enter a new display name said:

  On 12/29/2010 at 2:35 PM, Squee said:

You do realise that kings and queens do not have any saying in what goes on in their countries, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RskJZOoY34

 

:sup:

YES!!!!

  On 12/29/2010 at 7:00 AM, cardan said:

 

* The Gerson Diet will be removed from the national BLACKLIST. Will be made a primary method of treatment for major illnesses and ailments, saving more lives and money.

 

  Quote

In 1994, a study published in the alternative medical literature described 18 patients treated for cancer with the Gerson Therapy. Their median survival from treatment was 9 months. Five years after receiving the Gerson treatment, 17 of the 18 patients had died of their cancer, while the one surviving patient had active non-Hodgkin lymphoma.[9]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerson_diet#Gerson_Therapy

what a crock of shit

i would change its name to TWIN PEAKS and serve pie and donuts in every station

Is that pie and donuts in every gas station?

My country has never had a King.

  On 12/29/2010 at 7:48 PM, chenGOD said:

Is that pie and donuts in every gas station?

no way man, RADIO stations

  On 12/29/2010 at 8:01 PM, THIS IS MICHAEL JACKSON said:

  On 12/29/2010 at 7:48 PM, chenGOD said:

Is that pie and donuts in every gas station?

no way man, RADIO stations

oh. Just cause I visit gas stations much more often than I visit radio stations. So i was pretty excited for pie and donuts.