Galapagos Giant Tortoises

fuck you.

i want a tortoise, i will call him derek and love him dearly. i wonder what it'd be like to spoon a tortoise at night, if you could feel its heartbeat through the shell.

cool video but i would like to see some better comparisons of the size

like a child riding it would be good

that's a fucking trippy video!

OMG TURTLES ARE OUR ANCESTORS!@!

It would be hilarious to cum on a turtle

lol

  On 1/9/2011 at 6:46 AM, Fred McGriff said:

It would be hilarious to cum on a turtle

you could take an entire dump on one if you timed your waddles right.

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The world’s longest-lived vertebrate is also, according to scores of accounts over several centuries, by far the most edible creature man has ever encountered. Not surprisingly, there aren't many giant tortoises left.

 

They were first discovered by explorers and sailors in the 16th century. Immediately, people began raving about their unbelievable deliciousness, comparing them variously to chicken, beef, mutton and butter - but only to say how much better tortoise meat was than the very best of the aforementioned. One giant tortoise would feed several men, and both its meat and its fat were perfectly digestible, no matter how much of it you ate.

 

Oil made from tortoise fat was efficacious against colds, cramps, indigestion and all manner of “distempers.” (It tasted good, too.) The liver was a peerless feast on its own, and the bones were rich with gorgeous marrow. Then there were the eggs - inevitably, they too were the best eggs anyone had ever eaten. Some sailors were reluctant to try tortoise meat because the animal was so amazingly ugly - but one taste, and they were soon converted.

 

It wasn’t just the taste, wholesomeness and digestibility of the tortoise that doomed it. Even more useful to sailors in areas where there was little other foraging to be had was that tortoises could be taken alive on board ship, and killed and eaten as and when necessary. They could survive for at least six months without food or water, and didn't move about much. Thus, countless tens of thousands of animals which, as individuals, had lived for decades, even for a century or more, ended their lives butchered on deck, their shells and bones tossed over the side.

 

Giant tortoises can drink enough at one session to last them for several months. They store the water in special bladders. Needless to say, the sailors soon discovered this too; a carefully butchered tortoise could provide a thirsty mariner with several gallons of cool, perfectly drinkable water.

 

don't tell the chinese...

needs more pan flute

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reaching weights of over 400 kilograms (882 lb) and lengths of 1.8 meters (6 ft)

I guess that's kind of big, but I am so very underwhelmed. I wanted to see this thing eating cows.

  On 1/9/2011 at 5:19 PM, kakapo said:

  Quote

 

The world’s longest-lived vertebrate is also, according to scores of accounts over several centuries, by far the most edible creature man has ever encountered. Not surprisingly, there aren't many giant tortoises left.

 

They were first discovered by explorers and sailors in the 16th century. Immediately, people began raving about their unbelievable deliciousness, comparing them variously to chicken, beef, mutton and butter - but only to say how much better tortoise meat was than the very best of the aforementioned. One giant tortoise would feed several men, and both its meat and its fat were perfectly digestible, no matter how much of it you ate.

 

Oil made from tortoise fat was efficacious against colds, cramps, indigestion and all manner of “distempers.” (It tasted good, too.) The liver was a peerless feast on its own, and the bones were rich with gorgeous marrow. Then there were the eggs - inevitably, they too were the best eggs anyone had ever eaten. Some sailors were reluctant to try tortoise meat because the animal was so amazingly ugly - but one taste, and they were soon converted.

 

It wasn’t just the taste, wholesomeness and digestibility of the tortoise that doomed it. Even more useful to sailors in areas where there was little other foraging to be had was that tortoises could be taken alive on board ship, and killed and eaten as and when necessary. They could survive for at least six months without food or water, and didn't move about much. Thus, countless tens of thousands of animals which, as individuals, had lived for decades, even for a century or more, ended their lives butchered on deck, their shells and bones tossed over the side.

 

Giant tortoises can drink enough at one session to last them for several months. They store the water in special bladders. Needless to say, the sailors soon discovered this too; a carefully butchered tortoise could provide a thirsty mariner with several gallons of cool, perfectly drinkable water.

 

:(