crazy sex positions

I was at a holiday party a few weeks back and someone had given some porn as a gift. We were all reading the section where readers wrote in out loud because someone wanted to know about crazy sex positions.

Some of the shit was unbelievable.

- The Tony Danza = When you are fucking a girl and you shout "Who's the boss?". The girl says "You are the boss." Then you say "No. Tony Danza is the boss."

- The Whodini (Variation 2) = You are having sex, doggy style, in front of a window. Without letting your partner know, you secretly switch places with a friend. Then you go around and wave to your partner through the window... technically, this one is also known as "rape".

- The Abe Lincoln = You have a hidden bag of shaved pubes. Make sure you finish on your partner's chin. Then quickly toss a handful of shaved pubes on your partner's face. It sticks to their chin like a beard.

Post yours.

  On 1/22/2011 at 8:02 PM, jefferoo said:

- The Abe Lincoln = You have a hidden bag of shaved pubes. Make sure you finish on your partner's chin. Then quickly toss a handful of shaved pubes on your partner's face. It sticks to their chin like a beard.

I fucking lol'd. That's some manly shit right there.

None of those are really "positions" so much as "lewd sex acts you'd look up on Urban Dictionary for lols".

My favorite:

Texas Chili Dog - Take a runny, chunky diarrhea shit on a girl's chest and titty fuck her.

lols

shouldn't have read this thread while eating my coco pops..

  On 1/22/2011 at 8:02 PM, jefferoo said:

- The Whodini (Variation 2) = You are having sex, doggy style, in front of a window. Without letting your partner know, you secretly switch places with a friend. Then you go around and wave to your partner through the window... technically, this one is also known as "rape".

omflol

i don't know any aside from the standards, but urbandictionary found me the Bloody Bollywood:

  Quote

When a guy has sex with a girl on her period, and proceeds to put a red dot on her forehead using tip of his penis with her menstrual blood on it. The girl then appears to have a bindi on her forehead like that of an unmarried Hindu woman.

cute!

The Spiderman: Cum in your hand and flig it at your girl like a web.

Thats all I got.

lols,

i kinda like having this thread in a music forum, "got bummed by no tim hecker leakage ? here's a few lols to comfort you."

epic lulz

Dutch Ruddering is to grab your schwanz and have someone grab your forearm and move it up and down. Not technically a sex position.

Im sure people on the internet are just making these up most of the time but I heard about something called shit blistering where you inject little blisters of shit just under your skin and then pop them when you climax, it's an annoyingly persistent image in my head.

  On 1/24/2011 at 12:11 AM, Coalbucket PI said:

Im sure people on the internet are just making these up most of the time but I heard about something called shit blistering where you inject little blisters of shit just under your skin and then pop them when you climax, it's an annoyingly persistent image in my head.

looooooooooool

Eiffel tower: one guy from behind, another in her mouth, high five up top

- The Expert Knob Twiddler = Have sex with a girl from behind while mashing her face all over some keyboards. Record it and release it on Rephlex for $60, limited to 100 copies.

This is what my lol boner looks now, thanks gravity

  On 1/24/2011 at 8:13 AM, Blanket Fort Collapse said:

This is what my lol boner looks now, thanks gravity

Hmm, maybe if it was limited to 69 copies...

Beta Carradine: You tie a rope around your neck and masturbate while a partner sprays you with a supersoaker full of carrot juice.

  On 1/24/2011 at 9:19 AM, zelah said:

Beta Carradine: You tie a rope around your neck and masturbate while a partner sprays you with a supersoaker full of carrot juice.

Nice one.

The Romanian Pacifier - While nailing a pregnant girl in the third trimester, the fetus administers a blowjob.

The Romanian Rollercoaster - 69ing while rolling down a flight of stairs.

Crazy fucking Romanians.

The Raccoon - After fucking a girl, punch her in each eye, leaving her with two black eyes. Then knock over her trash on your way out.

  On 1/24/2011 at 3:06 PM, six said:

 

 

The Raccoon - After fucking a girl, punch her in each eye, leaving her with two black eyes. Then knock over her trash on your way out.

classic.

Anyone tried the hammock? They basically lie in the hammock while i text friends, watch tv and make sex noises