Recollections your adolescence

SO...

I was just watching the film Thirteen, which I wouldn't recommend to many of you since it's more girly reflective, than reflective in general, but it got me thinking.

My reaction to it this time (my 3rd viewing) was quite emotional and I was a bit shocked. I think I had previously watched the film thinking "hey this is a good movie to remember some great feelings/times by". But this time it really hit me that the main character, is pretty much almost to perfection, who I was when I was 13. A lil over dramatized, but still, quite close. (The main character is a bit sheltered, but then get's quite out of control [drinking, stealing, sexing] after befriending a girl from a very unstable upbringing)

I suppose I had the fortune/misfortune of going through some things earlier than typical folks. I was drinking, smoking, pretty much sexing, and certainly rebelling, at 13. So my points/questions for discussion are:

1) Going thru craziness early, good or bad? (best to just get out the way?)

2) 13 vs 17: My thoughts are 17 you are more likely to listen to advice and step back and evaluate, whereas 13 you're like FUUUUU I AM MASTER OF WORLD!

3) You are more irrational at 13, but able to be much more reckless at 17

4) Having that excessive conservative/sheltered "home" makes you even more likely to act out and even worse so than normal when doing so.

I'm bored, I don't expect too many bites on this, but jb7 ice water with ice ballin' out of control bursting thru drywall i like it "quite good" i'm not going to even fix that burger damnit

....I want to hear some stories ...do share plz

writing graffiti, tagging, bombing

stealing minor things like chocolate bars

totally over drinking and doing dumb shit

smoking weed (and enjoying it_)

smoking banana peels and trying to get high off that (didn't work)_

i'm a late bloomer

my highschool years mostly consisted of not giving a fuck about anything other than music, and wondering why no girls would pay me any attention when all of my 'friends' had girlfriends.

i never really touched alcohol or drugs until i was 17, when i got drunk and stoned with od++ and vik, lol.

basically i spent my teenage years bored and lonely, passing time and making myself happy by writing and listening to idm.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:57 AM, yek said:

 

smoking banana peels and trying to get high off that (didn't work)_

Holy lol! I tried the "nutmeg thing" and it did nothing but make me puke all over the place.

when i was 13-14 i was listening to gangsta rap, rapping, shoplifting spraycans, tagging all day erry day, skipping school, shoplifting more, got beat up by a cop, got taken home to my parents by cops on several occasions and i told myself that when i grew up i'd move to compton, la (from sweden nonetheless) and be a gangbanger. yup. and then we moved.

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:06 AM, Brandi_B said:

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:57 AM, yek said:

 

smoking banana peels and trying to get high off that (didn't work)_

 

Holy lol! I tried the "nutmeg thing" and it did nothing but make me puke all over the place.

that's not supposed to be a pleasant high. you get a fever and shit, oh and maybe some visual. totally delirious for a long period of time, lol. i'm surprised i didn't do it.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:54 AM, xxx said:

I think Thirteen was a good movie and I'm a man...and no I worked a lot in child/adolescent psychiatry and the movie did a great job of capturing the same dynamics I saw with the girls who were admitted.

 

1st, yes pedobear b/c the girl makeout scene is quite hot regardless.

2nd, yeah, the film was partially written by the girl that played edie (also rosalie in twilight) and was semi-auto bigraphical, hence the quite realistic storyline. Some of the actors were pretty obvious noob, but others, where quite good and authetic and I think those seemingly real scenes really make it easy to relate to.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:54 AM, xxx said:

I was a miserable cunt replete with a trenchcoat, dark colored silk shirts, Doc Marten's and a Walkman with The Cure, 45 Grave or Bauhaus in tow. I almost didn't make it out of junior high but my later academic success proved that it was the "teenage" in me. I am of the opinion that teenaged angst and psychiatric disorder are two different things even though they share a confusingly large similarity. As it turned out, I was more on the psychopathology side and

I certainly went through a decent all black, trashy whore makeup phase, but I didn't like, really fit the part, just liked the look (if that makes sense). I've always been a muscian since I was really young so I suppose I justified it with wanting to be a rockstar, but all the same, people react to you so much differentially when you look like that it's crazy. There was a time I always felt paranoid in stores when buying makeup b/c I was sure they thought I was stealing something. Also I wore a fishnet body suit and vinyl pants to ozzfest (97?) and I got the craziest fishnet sunburn, and the pant heat made me want to die.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:54 AM, xxx said:

it's only now--at 31--that I feel like I've become an adult with corresponding resilience and coping skills.

 

Yeah--glad it's over!

See that's one of my big issues. At 27, I have absolutely no desire to "be a grown up" whatsoever. Yes I go to work every day, early as hell, and do my duties....but otherwise, if I could wave a wand and be 13 again (okay maybe 16) I'd do it in a heartbeat.

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:07 AM, data said:

got beat up by a cop

:_(

y?

i remember drinking about a half magnum of absolute citron and throwing up out the drivers window whilst driving my 87 Pontiac sunburn ( this was probably 2000 when i was 16) then going to work at mcdonalds and being sent home by my friend manager chad, then going to my friends house to sober up . after i felt i was sober enough i drove home in a terrible blizzard, and wrecked and woke up with my head outside the rear passenger seat window while the blood flowed and flowed from my gashed up face. then i had to walk about two miles back to my friends house to get a ride back to my folks so i could get a lift to the hospital. my dad was so pissed he beat the shit out of me and shaved my head very poorly??? (i think he pulled more hair out than cut) then while my mom took me to the hospital my dad played his favorite game with my little brother. that game is stick a gun to your head and threaten to kill yourself.

i still have the scars to prove it.

good times

hm, let's see...similar to xxx, was part of the nascent goth crowd, which was really the "we like good music crowd" when you think about all the bands we were into - Cure, Pixies, Primus, Jane's Addiction, Sonic Youth etc. Led a very dual life with good grades on the one hand, and lots of drug use on the other...nitrous, weed (first time smoked out of a pepsi can with a hole punched through the side, lol), booze, mushrooms, acid. Parties with black lights and friends flipping out. Drinking 40 oz malt liquor til you had to piss constantly. Stealing traffic cones and blanketing a friend's house with them. Lots of dumb pranks. Being inept with girls. Getting my heart broken. Being arrogant in some ways, and a coward in others...yup, don't miss those days at all really. Being an adult (mostly) rocks...

I read harry potter like 200 times.

Also i was having sex with techno whores , which was awsome , but my dick-area still itches to this day.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:59 AM, modey said:

i'm a late bloomer

 

my highschool years mostly consisted of not giving a fuck about anything other than music

 

I got like this for a while, I actually sort of wish I was still like that. But I just talked about music all the time. But I think I also used it as like, a defense mechanizsm. I would say things like "oh well, I'm going to be a rockstar, and be more awesome than {fill the the blank band I loved at the time), so you know, I like drinking gin and smoking marlboro reds because ya know, that's totally what Slash does. lol. i'm retarded.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:59 AM, modey said:

i never really touched alcohol or drugs until i was 17, when i got drunk and stoned with od++ and vik, lol.

I never did any "drugs" until 9th grade (So I guess, ermmm....14?). I actually did acid before I ever smoked weed. That's a whole different convo. though. however, I used to always say (even before I smoked weed) "Why do mind numbing drugs [alcohol] when there's plenty of mind expanding drugs!?" I really had no concept of what I was saying, but since I knew the numbing brainless feelings of alcoho, I just assumed I was awesome for saying this.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:59 AM, modey said:

basically i spent my teenage years bored and lonely, passing time and making myself happy by writing and listening to idm.

But you had The Mavis's ;)

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:54 AM, xxx said:

and I'm a man

I couldn't help but instantly think of this

I was a shy fat loser from 13-17, living in a really sheltered home. After that I kinda got my shit together and recouped the "lost" years, but I haven't stopped partying and doing stupid shit since. I'm really bad at this responsibility thing and don't think I'll ever grow up.

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:53 AM, chimera slot mom said:

haven't stopped partying and doing stupid shit since. I'm really bad at this responsibility thing and don't think I'll ever grow up.

*high five*

I'm with ya. When I did acid last year for the first time since '99 I felt so stupid for sheltering myself from some of the cooler things i discovered in adolescence, just b/c of a few bad experiences. It's on now though, I feel like I'm get back to that "out of control" stage, but with a weird loyalty to having a job, so I can have money to fuck off and do crazy stuff.

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:34 AM, Brandi_B said:

But you had The Mavis's ;)

zole. regurgitator were better!

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:58 AM, Brandi_B said:

I feel like I'm get back to that "out of control" stage, but with a weird loyalty to having a job, so I can have money to fuck off and do crazy stuff.

i'm going through some terrible stuff lately and i fear i'm going to fall back into going off the rails again ie. doing acid due to being bored with / hating the rest of my life, getting smashed and doing stupid shit. not good.

  On 2/2/2011 at 3:54 AM, xxx said:

I am of the opinion that teenaged angst and psychiatric disorder are two different things even though they share a confusingly large similarity.

I definitely agree with this to an extent. However, it seems (to me at least) that extreme angst, if "untreated" or rather, enabled to progress, can result in a quite severe psychosis, or more commonly, a complex. A person using themselves as a tween/teen for the Archetype of their said complex, and almost creating a "hero" in the Jungian sense, out of themselves, or perhaps another figure of their admiration during adolescence, therefore internally validating the complex, can lead to quite severe "issues" in adult life.

  On 2/2/2011 at 5:05 AM, modey said:

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:58 AM, Brandi_B said:

I feel like I'm get back to that "out of control" stage, but with a weird loyalty to having a job, so I can have money to fuck off and do crazy stuff.

i'm going through some terrible stuff lately and i fear i'm going to fall back into going off the rails again ie. doing acid due to being bored with / hating the rest of my life, getting smashed and doing stupid shit. not good.

Is it "not good" though? Like as long as you hold on to the important aspects of life (ie: job having ...at least a few friends). I mean, i guess there is an inevitable crash and burn (maybe) but hell, as long as you don't eff over a bunch of people in the process, and completely screw your professional life, why not?

Also I'm obsessed with the Mavis's now thx to you :p~~

Edit: I went through this long grueling process trying to find "Pink Pills" as a download (I'm on a kick of always paying for music these days, I'm sure I could've found a torrent easily). Anyway, I finally found it on a European site, and downloaded it (at absurdly low speed) and I have to say damn, The Mavis's Pink Pills is a fantastic freakin album, hands down. Good stuff.

thx:p~

marijuana and nirvana with friends; I miss those days sometimes

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:19 AM, morphis2525 said:

i remember drinking about a half magnum of absolute citron and throwing up out the drivers window whilst driving my 87 Pontiac sunburn ( this was probably 2000 when i was 16) then going to work at mcdonalds and being sent home by my friend manager chad, then going to my friends house to sober up . after i felt i was sober enough i drove home in a terrible blizzard, and wrecked and woke up with my head outside the rear passenger seat window while the blood flowed and flowed from my gashed up face. then i had to walk about two miles back to my friends house to get a ride back to my folks so i could get a lift to the hospital. my dad was so pissed he beat the shit out of me and shaved my head very poorly??? (i think he pulled more hair out than cut) then while my mom took me to the hospital my dad played his favorite game with my little brother. that game is stick a gun to your head and threaten to kill yourself.

 

i still have the scars to prove it.

so you say you're from indiana eh?

  On 2/2/2011 at 5:11 AM, halisray said:

marijuana and nirvana with friends; I miss those days sometimes

I was in Dallas, Texas, visiting my Fav. Aunt when Kurt Cobain died. It destroyed my life. I was 11 , perhaps this was the spike. I was wearing a Nirvana shirt when it happened and was just going off to my dad about him not letting me go see them in 93; when they were in NC (I was "too young" in his opinion"). He actually relented a bit and said I could go next time with a chaperone. There was no next time :(

I could go on a long rant about how much I love/loved Nirvana but I will resist :)

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:27 AM, lumpenprol said:

hm, let's see...similar to xxx, was part of the nascent goth crowd, which was really the "we like good music crowd" when you think about all the bands we were into - Cure, Pixies, Primus, Jane's Addiction, Sonic Youth etc. Led a very dual life with good grades on the one hand, and lots of drug use on the other...nitrous, weed (first time smoked out of a pepsi can with a hole punched through the side, lol), booze, mushrooms, acid.

That's a pretty damn spot on observation right there :)

  On 2/2/2011 at 4:19 AM, morphis2525 said:

my head outside the rear passenger seat window while the blood flowed and flowed from my gashed up face.

Jeez, when I was [i think] 17, my brother did this when I was driving him and some of my friends back to Greensboro from High Point (about a 25 min drive). He had been in a reallly bad fight at some club (hence the blood), and was also drunk and throwing up vomit/blood out the window. It was right on main street where tons of ppl and also cops are every weekend, and it's all lit up from gas stations and car dealerships. I was totally faced and I think it was one of the most paranoid moments of my life b/c I was sure I was going to get pulled over and if I had, I was so drunk it woulda been curtains for my non grounded life, and likely my DL for the next few years. I went on a huge campaign against me driving intoxicated after that and it still lives on to this day.

The weird (ironic?) thing is he started the fight because a guy that was likely in his 20's was trying to mack on my friend that was 14 at the time, and he cited inappropriate age as the reason, yet my brother really wanted to (and eventually did) hook up with her. My Brother was 23 at the time. Weird times.

  On 2/2/2011 at 5:08 AM, Brandi_B said:

Is it "not good" though? Like as long as you hold on to the important aspects of life (ie: job having ...at least a few friends). I mean, i guess there is an inevitable crash and burn (maybe) but hell, as long as you don't eff over a bunch of people in the process, and completely screw your professional life, why not?

 

Also I'm obsessed with the Mavis's now thx to you :p~~

 

Edit: I went through this long grueling process trying to find "Pink Pills" as a download (I'm on a kick of always paying for music these days, I'm sure I could've found a torrent easily). Anyway, I finally found it on a European site, and downloaded it (at absurdly low speed) and I have to say damn, The Mavis's Pink Pills is a fantastic freakin album, hands down. Good stuff.

hah! i don't think i actually heard the whole album, to be honest! can we do a trade, some regurgitator for mavis's? zole

and as for going off the rails, well yeah there is more at stake than my job and friends.. the last few times i did acid i found myself thinking towards the end of the peak, "i could be not tripping balls right now, and doing something more productive / social" and feeling terrible that i wasted my night on psychedelic drugs and being too inebriated to get up off the couch and actually work on some music or go see a band or something.

basically, what it comes down to is that i just don't want to go down that path again simply because i just waste my free time. that said though, some of my most creative moments have been during an acid comedown, deprived of sleep and still feeling mildly tripped out. though i'm trying to replicate that creativity while sober. or something

oh and re: friends, i don't really have any close friends here. my girlfriend is probably my best friend but chances are she'll leave me soon anyway

  On 2/2/2011 at 5:41 AM, modey said:

  On 2/2/2011 at 5:08 AM, Brandi_B said:

Is it "not good" though? Like as long as you hold on to the important aspects of life (ie: job having ...at least a few friends). I mean, i guess there is an inevitable crash and burn (maybe) but hell, as long as you don't eff over a bunch of people in the process, and completely screw your professional life, why not?

 

Also I'm obsessed with the Mavis's now thx to you :p~~

 

Edit: I went through this long grueling process trying to find "Pink Pills" as a download (I'm on a kick of always paying for music these days, I'm sure I could've found a torrent easily). Anyway, I finally found it on a European site, and downloaded it (at absurdly low speed) and I have to say damn, The Mavis's Pink Pills is a fantastic freakin album, hands down. Good stuff.

hah! i don't think i actually heard the whole album, to be honest! can we do a trade, some regurgitator for mavis's? zole

 

 

and as for going off the rails, well yeah there is more at stake than my job and friends.. the last few times i did acid i found myself thinking towards the end of the peak, "i could be not tripping balls right now, and doing something more productive / social" and feeling terrible that i wasted my night on psychedelic drugs and being too inebriated to get up off the couch and actually work on some music or go see a band or something.

 

basically, what it comes down to is that i just don't want to go down that path again simply because i just waste my free time. that said though, some of my most creative moments have been during an acid comedown, deprived of sleep and still feeling mildly tripped out. though i'm trying to replicate that creativity while sober. or something

 

oh and re: friends, i don't really have any close friends here. my girlfriend is probably my best friend but chances are she'll leave me soon anyway

I have more to say to this, but for now. I have been amazed in the past few months, at the fact that, the super intense part of an acid trip, is decent in some respects, but there's so much WTFFFF going on and your brain on overdrive, it's hard to really get the full experience. But the comedown, once you peak on, say, at least 3 hits, is so fantastically fulfilling it's wonderful. It certainly seems to lead to the "key moments" of the trip. Lot's of introspective thoughts, pondering, and you're not so effed up you can actually write down and articulate your thoughts, granted they aren't as amazing/intense as an hour previous.

However once you get past, ermmm...I'd say 6 hits, it's a whole different story and the trip becomes a crazy (possibly pseudo) reality that you actually can articulate, experience, and remember what happened, and know that you were in fact, living in a cartoon, etc.