recent break up

me: i wanted to do it before i left. i imagined making a comment about your ass and wanting to hit it, then you were going to slap me but i put my palm in front of my face and caught your slap as a high-5 instead. then i pictured you laughing and that's why i was laughing yesterday.

my ex: why would you want to do it with me and then leave? don't you think that would cause more emotional stress?

me: no idea

me: no idea

One last hurrah.

totally chill story.

me: the trip was initially proposed to me as mike, jackie, myself and you going. when greg was in the picture, i was already not crazy about the idea right off the bat, but it was too late, so i went with it

friend: yeah. well ashley was supposed to go too. that was what was proposed to me

me: then it was so super cramped man, with 5 people, also an uneven number, which isn't really awesome for trips. then, i all had this big expectation from you, thinkin' that you and i were gonna be all close n' shit, and instead greg's hittin' home runs with you the entire time. so i guess i was down the whole time because of that. but, no hard feelings, it was a long time ago, and that wasn't nearly the best of the story

friend: well get to the best part

me: haha, well, remember when we were checking out those docks? i found a fisherman's pairing knife, probably used for cleaning a fish

friend: mhmm

me: i took it and put it in my pocket. later on, when everyone went on that two seater ride that i didn't have any money or interest for,

i dipped into a restaurant, went into the bathroom. right when i got in, some other dude was rushing out of there.

i get to the sink, start washing off the knife, when a puddle of piss, shit, and who knows what else starts coming for my bare feet on the bathroom floor. well, i'm rushing to get out of there, and i'm looking at the SHIT-PUDDLE that's getting closer and closer and i cut myself with the knife !

friend: ewww

oh yeahh i think i remember that

me: so i threw the knife away, thinking it a bad omen, and come back to meet you guys and i sit down on the bench to wait, and some lady starts coughing like, hardcore hacking up something, and spits it by my feet. she gives me a look like she didn't give a fuck about anything.

then somewhere in between all that i got covered in 50 something deer ticks because i didn't have money to go mini golfing or something.

hittin home runs...i'm totally that guy

thanks man

I'm feeling positive about this thread.

i uh.. .. nope, got nothin'

i have no idea what i meant to do with this thread, to be honest.

actually, it may be my worst yet, but i'll let it ride !

me: stoked

Pam: have you talked to Tommy lately?

me: I didn't realize that was his name.

me: hi Mario!!!

Victor: my name is not Mario you twat

more personal stories plaz

Me: Stare

Stranger: WTF YOU LOOKING AT BITCH!

me : this is lookin' like a nonsense thread

you : unable to post replies.

me: watmm

watmm: no

no: yes

thanks: no problem

show me a hot chick and i'll show you a guy who is sick of fucking her………..

then around the corner from said hot chick's house are a line of guys waiting to fuck her …………………..

haha yikes sucks so fucking bad

  On 2/21/2011 at 5:03 AM, dr lopez said:

haha yikes sucks so fucking bad

lol, he's destroying all my hopes and dreams.. house wife.... i'm very pretty

no problem: Plaid sub-forum

Sub Zero: flaccid

  On 2/21/2011 at 5:03 AM, dr lopez said:

haha yikes sucks so fucking bad

lol

  On 2/21/2011 at 3:27 AM, Luke Fucking Hazard said:

me: haha, well, remember when we were checking out those docks? i found a fisherman's pairing knife, probably used for cleaning a fish

 

friend: mhmm

 

me: i took it and put it in my pocket. later on, when everyone went on that two seater ride that i didn't have any money or interest for,

i dipped into a restaurant, went into the bathroom. right when i got in, some other dude was rushing out of there.

i get to the sink, start washing off the knife, when a puddle of piss, shit, and who knows what else starts coming for my bare feet on the bathroom floor. well, i'm rushing to get out of there, and i'm looking at the SHIT-PUDDLE that's getting closer and closer and i cut myself with the knife !

 

friend: ewww

oh yeahh i think i remember that

 

me: so i threw the knife away, thinking it a bad omen, and come back to meet you guys and i sit down on the bench to wait, and some lady starts coughing like, hardcore hacking up something, and spits it by my feet. she gives me a look like she didn't give a fuck about anything.

 

then somewhere in between all that i got covered in 50 something deer ticks because i didn't have money to go mini golfing or something.

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