Farting on children

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When a kid is being a brat in a noisy and public area, I casually get close to them and fart on their head/face. I'm really tall so it's usually a direct hit. ...

 

However, a few times I've been called out.

Lol, that's definitely up there with vintage McGriff

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The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu.

 

I'm all for it. there is no greater sense of satisfaction then thoroughly confusing and disgusting a child

"nefarious, hissing mephitis."

tears rolling down my cheeks.

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I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.

fuck I´m dying bahaha

  On 4/10/2011 at 2:29 PM, lumpenprol said:

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The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu.

 

OUTSTANDING post

  On 4/10/2011 at 2:29 PM, lumpenprol said:

Lol, that's definitely up there with vintage McGriff

 

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The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu.

 

Fucking lol!

  On 4/10/2011 at 2:29 PM, verticalhold said:

I'm all for it. there is no greater sense of satisfaction then thoroughly confusing and disgusting a child

and giving them pink eye.

  On 4/10/2011 at 2:34 PM, disparaissant said:

"nefarious, hissing mephitis."

tears rolling down my cheeks.

yeah that's when I did the lol

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Ah, yes, it has been a while since I've read Sun Tzu's lesser-known text, The Fart of War.

This thread title made my day.

That was beautifully written

at first i was like ughhhhhh thats some disturbing shit right there, but it was LOL all the way. i will let the tears dry off in peace without touching them, in honor for this great great man

oh my god that was killer