what are your favorite farts?

my favorite is when I have silent potent bombs. I'll be laying in bed watching tv with the wife when I get a rumble and know how bad it's going to be. I absolutely love the 3 or 4 seconds in between when it comes out and when it reaches the wife's nose. it's almost impossible for me to not piss myself laughing but I have a decent poker face. my wife will be talking about the show we are watching not having a clue about the rotten stink wall approaching her open mouth. she will then make a horrid face like she actually tasted it and proceed to hit me and get very angry. these are my favorite farts.

I enjoy the tonal variations, particularly the ones that sound like Scooby Doo saying "I don't know".

My favorite farts are after 2 days of malt liqour & junk food on a road trip. Rip em out so bad in a car of 5 people all the windows are rolled down and it still smells so fucking horrible that everyone can't help but laugh hysterically at how disgusting it is. It's really surprising that people put up with how bad my farts are in those circumstances.

I had a falafel pitta with plenty of onion for breakfast this morning, and right now I'm doing some horribly noxious nose-scorchers. You know those farts where a teaspoon's measure of gas expands and fills the whole room with the odour of burning rotten onions? I've got those. And I'm loving it.

lol, I like when I get so gassy that I'll get these seemingly never-ending continuous streams of air out of my ass. Usually this happens after tons of beer and junk food but it's so satisfying. Like almost as much so as taking a shit but you can just go to town in your pants without having to head to the toilet.

I love all my gaseous children.

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:12 PM, chimera slot mom said:

I love all my gaseous children.

After ive drunk about 8 pints of cider, something rotten happens to my guts.

I have cleared a 3m radius in a club before. Some may see this as a benefit

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:14 PM, Obel said:

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:12 PM, chimera slot mom said:

I love all my gaseous children.

every time i look at that av i think of jamie hyneman from mythbusters.

  On 4/26/2011 at 11:57 AM, Iain C said:

I had a falafel pitta with plenty of onion for breakfast this morning, and right now I'm doing some horribly noxious nose-scorchers. You know those farts where a teaspoon's measure of gas expands and fills the whole room with the odour of burning rotten onions? I've got those. And I'm loving it.

Some 3 and a half hours after breakfast, I'm still releasing concentrated parcels of pure stank - except that now, they've taken on a distinct overtone of greasy old Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummers. Possibly ones that have fallen behind the fridge and remained there for several weeks.

my last girls vag smelled like cinnamon and cheese. strange combo. Not complaining though

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:35 PM, kaini said:

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:14 PM, Obel said:

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:12 PM, chimera slot mom said:

I love all my gaseous children.

every time i look at that av i think of jamie hyneman from mythbusters.

Aaaaaand now I'm imagining Jamie with Zoidbergs voice!

carbs = farts.

One summer morning I bought around a kilo of grapes and pretty much ate the whole lot in a day.

The subsequent fermentation in my gut produced the most ungodly stench. I can't even explain it. It was beyond the label of fart.

If you were to walk into the bedroom in The Excorcist, this is what you would smell. From the bowels of the devil. Pure evil.

wet shower farts can be very enjoyable

I like the interesting sounding ones. Pitch bend, distortion, resonance.

Also the smell doesn't really please me unless it's mine

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:42 PM, Iain C said:

  On 4/26/2011 at 11:57 AM, Iain C said:

I had a falafel pitta with plenty of onion for breakfast this morning, and right now I'm doing some horribly noxious nose-scorchers. You know those farts where a teaspoon's measure of gas expands and fills the whole room with the odour of burning rotten onions? I've got those. And I'm loving it.

 

Some 3 and a half hours after breakfast, I'm still releasing concentrated parcels of pure stank - except that now, they've taken on a distinct overtone of greasy old Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummers. Possibly ones that have fallen behind the fridge and remained there for several weeks.

Well, I foolishly had falafel again for lunch - and the guffs are still coming thick and fast. I haven't checked, but I suspect the inside of my kecks are coated with an oily, brownish film. And I think I might have given myself 'roids. I'll report back.

  On 4/26/2011 at 3:25 PM, Iain C said:

  On 4/26/2011 at 1:42 PM, Iain C said:

  On 4/26/2011 at 11:57 AM, Iain C said:

I had a falafel pitta with plenty of onion for breakfast this morning, and right now I'm doing some horribly noxious nose-scorchers. You know those farts where a teaspoon's measure of gas expands and fills the whole room with the odour of burning rotten onions? I've got those. And I'm loving it.

 

Some 3 and a half hours after breakfast, I'm still releasing concentrated parcels of pure stank - except that now, they've taken on a distinct overtone of greasy old Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummers. Possibly ones that have fallen behind the fridge and remained there for several weeks.

 

Well, I foolishly had falafel again for lunch - and the guffs are still coming thick and fast. I haven't checked, but I suspect the inside of my kecks are coated with an oily, brownish film. And I think I might have given myself 'roids. I'll report back.

Just to let everybody know, I've had a couple of really painful ring-stinging craps, and now my farts smell like peanuts.

Pig Trotter farts are pretty cool.

Heart transplant farts. When you are receiving or performing a heart transplant and you let one go. Silent but violent.

fhearts?