Piss Bottle

One of my housemates just went on holiday. Fluent in 4 languages, thick in all of them. So I thought I'd better check she'd locked her bedroom window properly as she's ground level. Predictably she hadn't. However, I was more perturbed by the half full plastic bottle of piss next to her bed.

Now I know some people do this, but it raises a number of questions. Does she use some kind of funnel that I didn't see, does she not mind splashing a bit of piss about, or does she have a highly directional wahina? Or is she collecting the urine of her gentleman callers for some unspecified reason? The most plausible explanation is the most likely, but I can't work out which one is most plausible...

Like I said, I know some people do this, whether it's not to disturb others during the night or they're just too lazy to go to the toilet, but I'm trying to get an idea of where on the normal/weird spectrum this lies. WAMM, it's over to you.

(And before any of you racists ask, no, she's not French)

you didn't mention the possibility that someone in the night placed a half bottle full of piss on her nightstand through the unlocked window and escaped into the shadows

  On 4/26/2011 at 9:14 PM, Awepittance said:

you didn't mention the possibility that someone in the night placed a half bottle full of piss on her nightstand through the unlocked window and escaped into the shadows

Always with the bloody conspiracy theories...

did a bum break in and sleep in her bed?

are you sure it's piss ?

  On 4/26/2011 at 9:17 PM, xxx said:

*in alernate WATMM, xxx posts the screencap of a thread in which a man collects his semen to brew into a drink*

 

I should casually mention I locked her window for her and then ask, "mmm, that traditional cloudy lemonade you left was delicious, do you have the recipe?"

could just be apple juice.

Yes, its definitely piss. And the bottle is well worn. This is a ritual, not a one off.

maybe she's brewing scrumpy

that dirty french sod!

She left menstrual blood on the toilet seat last month.

I'm currently deciding whether I'm going to let her renew the tenancy. Thinking perhaps not. If she was some free spirited nubile 21 year old who just absent mindedly sprayed samples about, I wouldn't mind so much. But she isn't.

dump the motherfucker

my friend used to have 2 'free bleeder' roommates, the stories he used to tell me were pretty gnarly

  On 4/26/2011 at 9:29 PM, kakapo said:

She left menstrual blood on the toilet seat last month.

 

I'm currently deciding whether I'm going to let her renew the tenancy. Thinking perhaps not. If she was some free spirited nubile 21 year old who just absent mindedly sprayed samples about, I wouldn't mind so much. But she isn't.

empty the piss, sterilize the bottle and fill it with apple juice.

when she returns from her holiday have it to hand and casually sip from it.

problem solved her and her dirty french ways will be outta there toot sweet!

or alternatively...

shit on her pillow.

take a turd in her piss jug, with the piss still in it. I guarantee she won't say anything. What that means, I'm not sure.

Drink the piss. If it tastes like it's yours then demand an explanation. If not then

a piss story that doesnt deserve its own thread so i will butt in here,

me and a few friends recently had a competiton which consisted of eating 6 beroccas before going out for the evening, and then later that morning, all pissing in a bottle to see whos had managed to achieve the strongest orange colour.

i lost miserably unfortunately, but the winner was a truly astounding shade almost as intense as pure orange juice.

this thread is offensive to me "because it is gross"

now that I live with my girlfriend I don't have a piss jug. Pissing in tropicana jugs FTW!

Ok...

I've unlocked her window again, and smeared shit above her bed. Either a passing tramp or one of you lot is getting the blame...

where'd you get the shit from?

  On 4/26/2011 at 10:20 PM, cardan said:

where'd you get the shit from?

My bedpan, forgot to empty it this morning.

(you're full of shit)

  On 4/26/2011 at 10:18 PM, kakapo said:

Ok...

 

I've unlocked her window again, and smeared shit above her bed. Either a passing tramp or one of you lot is getting the blame...

 

 

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conspiracy theories are infectious

Is she an athlete of some sort. Maybe shes monitoring hydration or some shit.

Maybe shes incontinent, and she has one of those astronaut piss things.