Electronic Dance Raver Orgy Leaves 100s Sodomized, Drugged In Hollywood

Beardyman posted this on his fb

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Police report one geriatric old man had his Depends stripped off and he was force-fed Viagral supplements and “Yellow Cake Magic”, then disappeared under a throbbing riot of thigh exposing girls, who gyrated and cheered all over the old man as the crowd took pictures. The man’s wife cried and fled the scene in her Cadillac.

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If your child is a raver or fan of electronic base music, their risk of having an STD is already 23% higher than national average. Raver girls are notorious for being abortion-toking prostitutes, especially behind their parents backs. This is because people in this ‘electronic dance’ community are usually degenerates and drug addicts. :sup:

electronic base music

lol, great article.

How does one toke an abortion?

Cake is a made-up drug

Is it real. The article I mean. There's some serious buelsheet in there...

Satanic nightclub music. awesome.

oh wait, this is a parody article... Coffee makes everything clearer.

meh.

I kept wondering if I was reading an Onion article while reading that.

I've been listening to electronic music for years & I've never been in any drug orgies.

ohhh christwire

"Unknown to many, every new male electronic dance music raver must perform a “Throbbing Gristle” to be accepted into the moshing pits that are prevalent at these events. A Throbbing Gristle is considered complete once a raver, usually unpopular, black clad loners during high school, take revenge on the massive throngs of fraternity boys who cannot resist events such as this."

looool

At least if we all go to hell we know there's gonna be some cool music playing

Great name for Venetian Snares album ...

  On 8/4/2011 at 1:25 PM, usagi said:

electronic based music

THE CAKE IS A LIE

  On 8/4/2011 at 7:51 PM, Braintree said:

THE CAKE IS A LIE

I once saw a facebook status that went like this:

Guy: THE CAKE IS A LIE!!

Comment: So you've been playing portal huh?

Guy: Whats portal

  On 8/4/2011 at 1:29 PM, BCM said:

electronic base music

free base music

it'll git ya high

ive been enjoying electronic raves for 12 years and ive never been sodomised by a gang of smacked up semi clad raver chicks :-(

although i did once get a handjob during a foam party in eden in ibiza, i guess that counts

That actually does count, yes.

yay for my throbbing gristle!

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Eyes perpetually glossed with the most addictive marijuana residues and spirits all but defunct, the mouths of naive Electronic Daisy raver chicks chirp open in sexual glee as they wait to be plied with more Tweetie Flipper’s liquid ecstasy induced acid trips.

this is the first line of text

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Everything about this year’s show would haunt the heart and minds of those not under the spell of this Satanic nightclub music. Yellow Cake Magic Orchestra is headlined by gruff looking men who look like extras from a 80s post-apocalypse biker movie. Their name comes from a 70s street drug called “Yellow Cake Magic”, a raunchy mix of crudely cut marijuana leaves, crack infused acid drops and Quaaludes, all baked into a yellow cake that will make the mind of any taster explode with a magical sexual desire.

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The ultimate organizer for this dastardly festival of simple-minded college children and poorly timed, unskilled computer music is another geriatric man known as DJ Kaskade. Notorious for producing the most mind-altering tones imaginable during the late 80s, Kaskade tweeted that the event would start at 6am in front of Mann’s Chinese theater.

edit:

maybe this is a joke.

edit II: there is just so much here. from the comments:

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Kevin, Moby is and always has been a very dangerous man. His song “Praise You” and “Rockefeller Skank” are about Satan worship and prostitution. Grow up and realize the dangers these EDM artists present to us rational people.

edit III: this whole site is amazing.

  On 8/4/2011 at 1:52 PM, verticalhold said:

Cake is a made-up drug

that's thread title you don't see every day