Interesting article Parents Undermining Teachers

http://edition.cnn.c...ents/index.html

  Quote

(CNN) -- This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

 

(the rest of the article in the spoiler)

 

 

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Please quit with all the excuses

 

And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.

Can you feel my pain?

Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

 

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

 

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

 

Teachers walking on eggshells

 

I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"

I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.

If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.

My sister once had disciplined a girl student. And the next day her lawyer mother rang her up in class to chew her out about it. I would imagine that she got through to my sister, because the office was too weak to tell her to piss off. They really should just redirect people like this to an education dept. legal team. That can tell them where to go with more authority and in a language that a teacher in the middle of a class who is not expecting a call wouldn't be able to find.

I mean you can't even give the perfect little cunts detention or a talking to any more. What is wrong with society. Everyone is so fucking precious, and incapable of taking any responsibility for their actions.

A family member of mine quit teaching before finishing one semester because of issues like this. She was fresh out of college and got sick of parents doing this kind of stuff and using her young age as another excuse. She interned for an entire year but was not exposed to this part of teaching.

FFS if a kid is acting up in a restaurant or public place you can't even tell the parent to leave without them getting all defensive and shit as if everybody else is the problem, not their precious little shit factory.

the person who wrote that sounds like a bitch seriously

I see this everyday when i drop off and pick up my boy from school. the teacher tells some moms about a behavior issue and the parent just rolls her eyes, grabs her child by the hand, and walks away. I feel bad for the teacher for having to put up with shit like this from parents.

As far as restaurants go, that's an entirely different story. when my first son was about 9 months old, the wife and I decided to go to a mexican restaurant with him. about halfway through us eating our dinner, he started to act up a little so i picked him up and started to calm him down... as I was doing so, some old man turns around from a near by table and with attitude says "can you take him outside?" I just gave him a mad dog stare and he turned around and said nothing else.

I understand when a teacher, coach, baby sitter, tae kwon do instructor tells me about my son's behavior and how he should improve... but not from some complete stranger in a restaurant.

  On 9/13/2011 at 4:52 AM, MAXIMUS MISCHIEF said:

the person who wrote that sounds like a bitch seriously

rude

My dad was smart enough to get out of teaching about 20 years ago. He had been teaching junior high (ages 13-15) for quite a while, and really enjoyed the teaching part of it. However, when it got to the point where the principal of his school told him he couldn't discipline the kids and he had to think of them as "his equals" he said that was it. It boggles my fucking mind - these are people who are going to be spending a great deal of time with your kids while they grow through childhood into adolescence and young adults. People complain about how much teachers are making, take away any means they have of maintaining discipline, threaten them, and make them feel like shit. Then they complain because there aren't any good teachers - well of course not, who the fuck would want to be a teacher under those conditions!

  On 9/13/2011 at 6:00 AM, asymmetrical head said:

I see this everyday when i drop off and pick up my boy from school. the teacher tells some moms about a behavior issue and the parent just rolls her eyes, grabs her child by the hand, and walks away. I feel bad for the teacher for having to put up with shit like this from parents.

 

As far as restaurants go, that's an entirely different story. when my first son was about 9 months old, the wife and I decided to go to a mexican restaurant with him. about halfway through us eating our dinner, he started to act up a little so i picked him up and started to calm him down... as I was doing so, some old man turns around from a near by table and with attitude says "can you take him outside?" I just gave him a mad dog stare and he turned around and said nothing else.

 

I understand when a teacher, coach, baby sitter, tae kwon do instructor tells me about my son's behavior and how he should improve... but not from some complete stranger in a restaurant.

If your kid hadn't have calmed down though. I would have been mad dog staring at you over my burrito. Some places you don't take infants i believe.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

_/\(ツ)_/¯

My mum taught really little kids and she never really mentioned this kind of issue. It was more often that she told me when kids were struggling at school and she asked their parents to help them with reading or writing at home and they just seemed like they were too stupid or disinterested to ever do it. It was a shit primary school and it made me realise that you’re never going to get far teaching kids to read if they’ve never seen their parents read a book in their life.

The reason she quit was because the restrictions imposed on teachers in terms of what they needed to cover is constantly growing and being hugely adjusted year on year. If you’ve been teaching for a while you start to get the impression that the government doesn’t know what they are doing when they make up these rules, and when the goalposts keep moving it’s understandable if people just don’t care about playing the game anymore. Honestly almost every teacher I remember who had been doing it for more than 10 years seemed like the most unhappy and frustrated people, and that's why I never ever considered going anywhere near that profession.

  On 9/13/2011 at 12:56 PM, rumbo said:

_/\(ツ)_/¯

I'm not even gonna fix that shrug.

  On 9/13/2011 at 1:20 PM, Coalbucket PI said:

My mum taught really little kids and she never really mentioned this kind of issue.

My sister says she loves it when she gets a chance to teach the really young kids, they're a breaze apparently the first and second years. Must be before they develop attitude and are still receptive or something.

It's pretty common here for the parents to think that the school is supposed to do the parenting. I have no idea what these parents think they are supposed to do with their little cretins. Maybe I am getting old and cranky, but I think kids these days are way more rude and ignorant than when I was a kid. They've grown up in a very different society than I did, with access to almost infinite amount of information coming from everywhere. It seems kids today instinctively shut themselves down in this info overflow and just concentrate on things at a very superficial level and what is spoon-fed to them in prepackaged bits of info by some well marketing group.

Which brings me to another thing I've been wondering about, if there is reason to re-evaluate the way education is done in schools today. With the ease of access to vast amounts of information the time of learning things by heart seems to be outdated. I would think that skills on how to process information and source criticism ought to be something that would be taught much earlier than before. Also how to apply all this knowledge to a task at hand would be something worth teaching much earlier.

  On 9/13/2011 at 1:28 PM, Braintree said:

  On 9/13/2011 at 12:56 PM, rumbo said:

_/\(ツ)_/¯

 

I'm not even gonna fix that shrug.

He's walking like an Egyptian.

  On 9/13/2011 at 7:39 PM, rumbo said:

  On 9/13/2011 at 1:28 PM, Braintree said:

  On 9/13/2011 at 12:56 PM, rumbo said:

_/\(ツ)_/¯

 

I'm not even gonna fix that shrug.

 

He's walking like an Egyptian.

No that would be ¯\/(ツ)/\_ .

waeoewaeoe

hey, if anyone feels their children are being inadequately disciplined, just let me know - I'll be happy to discipline them for you for a modest fee.

our priorities need to change if we expect change in the education of our children, our children who will then help us to change the world

  On 9/14/2011 at 1:09 PM, troon said:

our priorities need to change if we expect change in the education of our children, our children who will then help us to change the world

logically

  On 9/13/2011 at 1:18 PM, xxx said:

No sweat though--the rest of the world will run circles around formerly great nations in the areas of education, technology and innovation. We'll still be drowning in a mire of our own creation.

Next time I watch Idiocracy, I'll just assume the rest of the world (and perhaps the intelligent expatriates) are functioning just fine outside of America.

INTERESTING ARTICLE

Honestly some teachers are just shit (and same with the kids). I spent 4 summers teaching kids programming, and actually had a great time. There are really two types of teachers: the ones who try to level with kids and the types that think they should be disciplinary and look down upon them. I was opted to try to be their friends if they would listen, and never had any problems. On the other side, there were teachers who would just disicple, give no reasons, be stoic, and ignore them afterwards. Personally I think the end goal is to get through to the kids no matter what, so when you take this hardline approach it almost discourages them to try to understand concepts.

That being said there are always a few kids that are just bored out of their minds, and get their kicks by starting trouble. If you are a good teacher you can find a way to intellectually challenge them, if not they will probably cause more problems.

And there always a few helpless kids who are just sadists.