The Ig Nobel Prizes are amazing

Was reading a cracked article and ended up reading this wiki page.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ig_Nobel_Prize_winners

  Quote

"Biology – Presented to Peter Fong of Gettysburg College, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, for contributing to the happiness of clams by giving them Prozac."

"Computer Science – Presented to Chris Niswander of Tucson, Arizona, for inventing PawSense, software that detects when a cat is walking across your computer keyboard."

"Peace – Presented jointly to Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of University of Newcastle, in the UK, for electrically monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie Star Wars."

There are scientific experiments for everything I guess.

  Quote

Cognitive science: Toshiyuki Nakagaki, Hiroyasu Yamada, Ryo Kobayashi, Atsushi Tero, Akio Ishiguro, and Ágota Tóth, for discovering that slime molds can solve puzzles.

Shit, slime molds are so cool. They've used them to pilot simple robots and map highway systems. Look that shit up.

yeah that last one about the slime molds doesn't sound Ig nobel at all, more like fucking amazing

the essay on structured procrastination was my favorite winner

  On 2/21/2012 at 1:55 AM, Adjective said:

the essay on structured procrastination was my favorite winner

I was going to read it, but then something more important came up.

The optimal density of airborne wasabi is great.

  On 2/21/2012 at 7:36 AM, chenGOD said:

  On 2/21/2012 at 1:55 AM, Adjective said:

the essay on structured procrastination was my favorite winner

I was going to read it, but then something more important came up.

yeah, no point doing that in rush...sounds interesting though...but a bit later

slime mold for most idm 2012

  On 2/21/2012 at 2:34 PM, BCM said:

slime mold for most idm 2012

This. Went on a slime mold youtubing spree after I read they could solve mazes.

slime molds

The longer cows lie down, the more likely they are to stand up again.

the more doritos i eat, the fatter i get

  Quote

 

 

Heart-mending music

After receiving a heart transplant, mice survive longer listening to opera than to Enya.

A joint Japanese and Chinese team found that after recovering from surgery a mouse survived an extra 20 days if Verdi’s La Traviata was played, but only four days if it heard Irish singer Enya, best known for her 1988 hit Orinoco Flow.

Post heart transplant op mice listening to Enya for most IDM 2013/14

flol @ Enya eroding their will to live

This place makes me sick and makes me revolve into old patterns and I simply can't do any good decision while I'm here. I need to move to a different place. Germany is boring and expensive, probably even more so than the US (except the US is more expensive). I'd be a good US citizen if I was rich but I'm not. I should move abroad, probably to South America because I only speak German and English and they have German breweries but even though I drink a lot of beer I don't like it because it tastes like piss. Asian beer is okay, Asians seem to have a better taste in everything compared to Western cultures so I should probably move there but I'm an unskilled motherfucker. I don't even particularly like my family, they are all assholes, including myself. It's all fake. Everything. This text is a parody of what I'm truly feeling. It's a joke. I don't want to be here anymore. I have to do something with my life, my time is running out...I'm 27 years old and this is the best I could come up with? This is not even funny anymore, it's sad. It's pathetic. I've wasted so much time and energy on being an asshole. I only make wrong decisions. I spend my money on silly things like expensive but low quality food. All I want is a lot of sex with beautiful people but I'm not attractive enough to get it and not rich enough to pay for it. And after all, it always leaves me with a feeling of lack and inadequacy when I'm lucky enough to get it. I only get successful when I start a new and exciting project and I'm not good at doing things. I'm not a good person, I don't have any friends. Nobody would even care if I died. That's how it is.

I don't want to be here anymore.

The only kind of love I seem to be able to get is God's love, but it sucks. It's the most unsatisfying and stupid kind of love imaginable. It doesn't even help me to develop a better life. I'm too angry and selfish to appreciate it anyway, but it's not my fault, nor can I change it. God isn't even a real God, he/she/it is some 5-dimensional being probably gaining satisfaction out of controlling my life and playing with my desires, fuck this demon/whatever he/she/it is. I'm being a bit too harsh, but I'm not a good person. I don't want to be a good person. I shouldn't have to care about what other people think about me. But if I don't care about what other people think about me then why should I care that nobody cares about me? I'm trapped in my own mind, all this meditation stuff about viewing the mind as an object without identifying with it is just a cruel joke and boring as fuck.

I'm going to die out in the lonely wilderness soon and nobody will ever find my corpse or even notice that I'm gone. It's like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Do you know how sad it makes me when someone says "Oh, you're so funny!" If you think so, why don't we go for a walk on the beach together? Why do people make such stupid statements all the time?? People are stupid, they say things that don't help anyone at all and they ignore reality. There probably aren't even real humans except of myself anyway, they are all illusionary epiphanies or manifestations orchestrated by this being that won't reveal his/her/its real identity to me no matter what I do. Death seems to be the only escape but I don't want to die.

Everything is fake and the only thing that matters is money, even though it doesn't have to be like that. And sex of course. I don't want to be here anymore. Existence could be completely paradisaic but greater forces prevent it from being so, for no reason at all.

If existence emerged from non-existence, why didn't it choose to be perfect?

I'm going to go for a walk in the forest.

I wish I had never been born!

  On 7/26/2021 at 5:14 PM, dingformung said:

This place makes me sick and makes me revolve into old patterns and I simply can't do any good decision while I'm here. I need to move to a different place. Germany is boring and expensive, probably even more so than the US (except the US is more expensive). I'd be a good US citizen if I was rich but I'm not. I should move abroad, probably to South America because I only speak German and English and they have German breweries but even though I drink a lot of beer I don't like it because it tastes like piss. Asian beer is okay, Asians seem to have a better taste in everything compared to Western cultures so I should probably move there but I'm an unskilled motherfucker. I don't even particularly like my family, they are all assholes, including myself. It's all fake. Everything. This text is a parody of what I'm truly feeling. It's a joke. I don't want to be here anymore. I have to do something with my life, my time is running out...I'm 27 years old and this is the best I could come up with? This is not even funny anymore, it's sad. It's pathetic. I've wasted so much time and energy on being an asshole. I only make wrong decisions. I spend my money on silly things like expensive but low quality food. All I want is a lot of sex with beautiful people but I'm not attractive enough to get it and not rich enough to pay for it. And after all, it always leaves me with a feeling of lack and inadequacy when I'm lucky enough to get it. I only get successful when I start a new and exciting project and I'm not good at doing things. I'm not a good person, I don't have any friends. Nobody would even care if I died. That's how it is.

I don't want to be here anymore.

The only kind of love I seem to be able to get is God's love, but it sucks. It's the most unsatisfying and stupid kind of love imaginable. It doesn't even help me to develop a better life. I'm too angry and selfish to appreciate it anyway, but it's not my fault, nor can I change it. God isn't even a real God, he/she/it is some 5-dimensional being probably gaining satisfaction out of controlling my life and playing with my desires, fuck this demon/whatever he/she/it is. I'm being a bit too harsh, but I'm not a good person. I don't want to be a good person. I shouldn't have to care about what other people think about me. But if I don't care about what other people think about me then why should I care that nobody cares about me? I'm trapped in my own mind, all this meditation stuff about viewing the mind as an object without identifying with it is just a cruel joke and boring as fuck.

I'm going to die out in the lonely wilderness soon and nobody will ever find my corpse or even notice that I'm gone. It's like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Do you know how sad it makes me when someone says "Oh, you're so funny!" If you think so, why don't we go for a walk on the beach together? Why do people make such stupid statements all the time?? People are stupid, they say things that don't help anyone at all and they ignore reality. There probably aren't even real humans except of myself anyway, they are all illusionary epiphanies or manifestations orchestrated by this being that won't reveal his/her/its real identity to me no matter what I do. Death seems to be the only escape but I don't want to die.

Everything is fake and the only thing that matters is money, even though it doesn't have to be like that. And sex of course. I don't want to be here anymore. Existence could be completely paradisaic but greater forces prevent it from being so, for no reason at all.

If existence emerged from non-existence, why didn't it choose to be perfect?

I'm going to go for a walk in the forest.

I wish I had never been born!

Expand  

Sir, this is a Wendy's 

dingdong it looks to me like you're only about 50 self-pity boo-hoo woe-is-me blogposts away from curing your """""depression""""". It's been a long journey but you're almost there

note to Self

this thing wrote a lot of these thoughts through text suggestions as a means to sabotage ME again. There are no words to describe my lack of satisfaction with the realization of this situation

u kieding men?

stop

  On 7/26/2021 at 5:14 PM, dingformung said:

Asian beer is okay, Asians seem to have a better taste in everything compared to Western cultures

North American craft beers are much better than Asian beer, although Japan is making some good progress. Otherwise almost everything in Asia is a lager. Which are fine, but variety is nice.

  On 7/26/2021 at 5:14 PM, dingformung said:

 Nobody would even care if I died. That's how it is ... I wish I had never been born!

Having dealt with a long term 'attraction' to the wisdom of Silenus, I can empathise.

However, and more importantly, I'd care.

  On 7/26/2021 at 7:53 PM, chenGOD said:

North American craft beers are much better than Asian beer, although Japan is making some good progress. Otherwise almost everything in Asia is a lager. Which are fine, but variety is nice.

There are some pretty decent Vietnamese craft beers. Check the Heart of Darkness brewery for example.

Hong Kong has some good craft beers also.

  On 7/26/2021 at 9:31 PM, zkom said:

There are some pretty decent Vietnamese craft beers. Check the Heart of Darkness brewery for example.

Hong Kong has some good craft beers also.

While my knowledge of craft beers in Asia is dated (I haven't been since 2019, and not to HK since 2015, nor Vietnam since before the mists of time) I do recall there were some decent ones; however, I don't believe the scope and variety in Asia is anything like what you find in North America and Europe.

  On 7/26/2021 at 9:37 PM, chenGOD said:

While my knowledge of craft beers in Asia is dated (I haven't been since 2019, and not to HK since 2015, nor Vietnam since before the mists of time) I do recall there were some decent ones; however, I don't believe the scope and variety in Asia is anything like what you find in North America and Europe.

Well, it's not like in Finland where you can find a hundred different beers in the local supermarket but it's not just lager everywhere. You can find Vietnamese craft beers in the surrounding countries like Thailand and I've found some even in Finland.

Also I think they drink a lot of stout in Cambodia and less lager than usually in Asia.

Yo Ding drink some water