how do you tell people in a nice way that you really don't care about stuff they tell you?

Dear watmm. I know you're all very good at people, so please help me out here

I'm surrounded by people all day at work who spends most of their time telling other people (including me) about their problems. like I'm their psychiatrist or something. I work with these people every day so I can't really risk pissing everyone off, by telling them I can't be bothered with all their useless whining every single fucking day. I need to tell them in the nicest way possible. what do I do? Look for new job? deal with it? cry in a corner? please share your wisdom, watmm.

Look busy? Focus on whatever this make believe busy task is and they'll wander off.

Go check on my kids!

Give them bad advice about how to fix their problems and hope they will leave you alone because of it.

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:39 PM, couch said:

Look busy? Focus on whatever this make believe busy task is and they'll wander off.

oh believe me, I've tried that. that would work on normal people, but these people are not like that. they can't take a hint.

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:41 PM, zkreso said:

Give them bad advice about how to fix their problems and hope they will leave you alone because of it.

that's a neat idea!

I'm lucky that everyone keeps to themselves at my office, but my wife has the problem all the time at her job. If you can manage to listen to stuff at work: podcasts or music, etc, try to keep yourself occupied with that. Make some shit up that you're listening to something live. If there's anything you can do at your job that "demands your attention" take advantage of it. They should know they're bothering you at some point. I know it's tempting to go "uh huh, yeah, uh huh, hey can you just fuck off for a bit, k thnx bai"

I consider myself not the best at social cues, but I know when a conversation is starting to keep someone from working or leaving them bored/annoyed. An amazing amount of people are completely oblivious that they're fucking annoying.

Good luck!

My last resort, and it works well, is I bring up gmail chat with a co-worker I'm cool with. Ask him to call my desk to bail me out. He does this to me too because there are two guys at the office that will trap you with conversation like you describe.

Or you can let a dank fart rip.

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:33 PM, Bewarethefriendlyfoil said:

Dear watmm. I know you're all very good at people, so please help me out here

 

I'm surrounded by people all day at work who spends most of their time telling other people (including me) about their problems. like I'm their psychiatrist or something. I work with these people every day so I can't really risk pissing everyone off, by telling them I can't be bothered with all their useless whining every single fucking day. I need to tell them in the nicest way possible. what do I do? Look for new job? deal with it? cry in a corner? please share your wisdom, watmm.

Start telling them about your problems.

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:49 PM, joshuatxuk said:

podcasts or music, etc, try to keep yourself occupied with that. Make some shit up that you're listening to something live.

Even better, start singing along passionately in the middle of the saddest part of their story! Excuse yourself with "sorry, this song is just so great man!"

Seek out what types of problems everyone has. Hook up the ones with matching problems.

"Antoinettalina over there is depressed because of a missing childhood too. Go talk to her! She'll totally understand."

Repeat until everyone has a problem-sharing buddy.

Watch as you are standing by the watercooler while the entire office is fucking their problem-sharing buddies on their desks, while you're sipping water and thinking "Yep, I done good".

FUCK OF I DON'T CARE

I just don't talk or respond to whatever they say, or respond just like "ok" or "that's bad" until they lose any interest in talking with me.

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:54 PM, AAAAh said:

FUCK OF I DON'T CARE

lol

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:53 PM, zkreso said:

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:49 PM, joshuatxuk said:

podcasts or music, etc, try to keep yourself occupied with that. Make some shit up that you're listening to something live.

 

Even better, start singing along passionately in the middle of the saddest part of their story! Excuse yourself with "sorry, this song is just so great man!"

this is gold.

lots of great suggestions in here. maybe I should try some of these out on monday

Say "excuse me just one moment please", then duck behind your desk & put on a scary Halloween mask (I recommend a ghost or a bear). When you pop up it will scare the shit out of them & they will either run away or die.

show them your box of fucks given

If you want to go the music way, make sure you somehow include this song, it might help them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXSOD1N5lR4

This is an excerpt from the old UK punk band the Anti-Nowhere League's biography. This is a true story and if you do it my son, you'll get left alone for life!!

''After bribing Rat Scabies in a bog hole at some shitty pub in the East End of London (two hundred quid I think) we got on a small tour up North with the Damned. We couldn’t afford hotels every night so we had to sleep in and under the van in the snow, but the Damned always fed us with their rider, which brings us to the famous carrot incident………….. Rat was giving it large in their dressing room after a show one night saying how he had seen all the rock and roll antics there was to see and nothing could shock him, Winston stood proud and bet Rat he could clear the dressing room within five minutes with just one antic.

Rat took on the challenge, the dressing room was full of record company liggers, so Winston went to the food table pick up the largest object he could see which happened to be a 9 inch carrot, dropped his jeans and pants, dipped the carrot in mayonnaise, then in the pickle and then in the ketchup, he bent over and inserted the carrot right up his arse…………he pumped it in and out a few times by now everyone was looking on in silence, he then removed it from his arse licked off the mayo, pickle, ketchup and shit dressing and ate the carrot. Rat said “Oh fucking hell” and everybody ran out, we tucked into the rest of the food.''

I had this problem pretty badly at my old workplace. I found even giving the worst advice wouldn't dissuade the chatty Cathy's and it eventually became a game where I would try and give the worst advice possible.

'Ugh, my boyfriend is still talking with his ex' = 'You should disembowel her, and feed him her guts if he likes her so much'.

I don't actually recommend this route as it quickly becomes you just advising them to murder and consume whomever is involved, at least that was my experience.

When in doubt, there is always coprophagia.

I just walk away if I can. If they trap me at my desk I might say I have to use the restroom or I was going to go get a drink/snack or something.

  On 3/16/2012 at 9:54 PM, AAAAh said:

FUCK OFF, I DON'T CARE

lol love this one, but you must do it all John Cleese like.

try something along the lines of an "i'm sorry to hear you are having (troubles) right now, but i really need to get this work done, can we talk about this at our coffee break? or can i catch up with you later? that way it sounds like you are listening to them or are willing to listen to them but just can't right now. or try "that sounds like it is frustrating i really wish i had time to talk about it right now but unfortunately i am really busy with such and such task right now... this way it sounds as if you want to be friends but are inescapably busy with work. it's just advice so feel free to throw it out the window if you wish, and good luck! :)

show them yur FINGAZZ!!!

respond with a mumble

they will give up eventually right?

Just give them really shit, backwards advice. They won't come back much more.