Things You Would Do in a Perfect World

I have dreamt up so many novels

so many concepts for albums or music projects

so many screenplays

or writing the world's best children's book to impress my kid sister

and encourage her to grow up with a healthy self-esteem and zen outlook

I have dreamt of saving up and living in Cordava, Spain

and playing flamenco guitar in the town square

(my flamenco chops are so-so...fast picado and tremolo are tuff stuff)

or starving in some abject Manhattan loft

record folk albums into a dictaphone

singing about things that I'm currently too embarassed to say aloud

or playing drums at jazz clubs

As a result of this,

I feel like it's a straight-up tragedy

everytime I waste an afternoon

on the internet

I would laugh out loud at the opera, or at avant-garde classical performances without feeling immature and guilty.

exactly what i'm doing at this very instant because i'm already in a perfect world

fuck bitches get money?

i guess i'd exist as a non-corporeal entity and spend the remainder of the time featuring life on earth watching and understanding endless new things. then hopefully at some point before our sun dies i'd figure out where to find more life in the universe

There's a lot I would do, I will come back to this thread periodically.

develop an antimatter bomb and destroy the world

I would fart in class whenever necessary.

cum on everyone's face all the time

i would a shitload of peanut butter

oh wait I already do that

Frank Zappa clones everywhere

snog glunk

I'd take a walk through my perfectly mundane suburban woods in the pacific northwest without feeling slightly nervous and paranoid about a pack of starving coyotes stalking me and eating me, or coming too near a baby brown bear and the mother charging me and breaking my neck before casually eating my arms and legs or a mountain lion spilling my entrails just because it can and because the woods are full of murdering beasts.

I would be happy :(

:cuts:

I would live a normal, ordinary, boring life, making a middle class salary, and not be too educated or cynical. I would enjoy television programs such as gossip girl or america's next top model, or perhaps get excited about Mad Men (don draper's hair is sooo perfect!!). I would think M83 is "neat" and probably enjoy MGMT. I would have less drama in my life, and feel less. I wouldn't care if people spell "lose" as "loose", or say "for all intensive purposes" instead of what it should actually be. I would be a bland, vacuous fuckface of a person. And I'd be happy. Also I would be funnier and have stories that are somewhat interesting, but not wildly outrageous and scary.

I'd stop worrying about not having a constant income, man up, quit my damn job and make what I need on my own terms.

I stay up until midnight, then compare the experience to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmzHRGoKca0

  On 11/30/2012 at 6:13 AM, Ivan Ooze said:

Frank Zappa clones everywhere

never would of thought of this, but yeah

also John Candy clones

  On 11/30/2012 at 10:48 AM, spratters said:

I'd stop worrying about not having a constant income, man up, quit my damn job and make what I need on my own terms.

I ponder quitting my job and moving to either to a sleepy mountain town or some tropical island all the time. No luxury pipedream either, just living real simply and probably working some tourist-y job for income. Pretty sure my wife and I will anyway when we retire.

get a really nice pen.

Pay off my student loans and tour the world in a rock band.

i would be able to practice psychology and self help while continuing to be a serious musician

default perfection is boring. it's the fact that we have to work towards it that makes life interesting.

In a perfect world I'd overthrow and smash the fucking system.

  On 11/30/2012 at 4:32 PM, Hoodie said:

default perfection is boring. it's the fact that we have to work towards it that makes life interesting.

  On 11/30/2012 at 6:10 AM, sergeantk said:

i would _______ a shitload of peanut butter

 

 

oh wait I already do that

this post could go many different ways, depending on what verb you intended there.

fuck, let's go with fuck