Midlife crisis

I'm 33 and having a premature midlife crisis.

I turned down rich bitch. She invited me to the family estate for Christmas and I said no. I cut off contact from the other one, the only woman I've ever loved, the one whose friend I assaulted. I've maintained the no contact rule for four months and intend to maintain it in perpetuity.

As for Lady k, she could be dead for all I know.

The rogaine has worked, surprisingly, and I have a full head of hair again. The cycling has even paid off and I'm losing the pounds. Decent job, my own office, money in the bank. Thinking about a leather jacket.

Am I too old for a leather jacket? I don't mean a dad's one like M&S Blue Harbour or something, I mean like a cool one.

I'm thinking of trying online dating. Can anyone recommend a suitable site for London? Guardian? Is the whole thing as horrendous as it appears?

Went shopping in Camberwell the other day. Lilac chinos are packed away for the summer but wore my pyjama top again. Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

This thread will be my depository for my midlife crisis. You're going to help me through it watmm.

I also currently have haemorrhoids. Life imitating Art.

So you won't be getting much older than 60, eh?

yeah, you should do online dating

  On 12/9/2012 at 10:41 PM, goDel said:

So you won't be getting much older than 60, eh?

I just want to outlive joyrex.

take up carpentry? i dunno

maybe sex vacations in southern California (actually Portland now)

no offense, but nothing says midlife crisis more clearly than a "cool" leather jacket

How about a midwife crisis? It's good to know there's going to be another one!

  On 12/9/2012 at 11:08 PM, ganus said:

no offense, but nothing says midlife crisis more clearly than a "cool" leather jacket

If you do get a leather jacket, make sure to embroider the Rogaine logo on the back, so people know where you got your confidence.

you could also just start to bang girls 15-20 years younger than you to boost self esteem, that's what a lot of other mid-life crisesers do, and it seems to work great

premature midlife crisis, or just post-puberty teenage angst?

K, i feel you.

i may have lost the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. things are very shaky and up in the air right now. we are no longer seeing eachother. it is taking indescribable tolls on me, emotionally. today, i just collapsed under the weight of it all. everything hit me at once. the startling realization that i might not be able to climb my way out of this one this time. if i lose her, i'll very much lose a part of myself that i won't be able to recover..

on the upside, this alone time has given me an opportunity to know myself in ways i had forgotten since i was a child. i feel like i'm picking up pieces of myself i dropped when i was a kid, putting them back in their place. it is fulfilling, and keeps me interested and excited by life. it is only in this manner of self discipline and betterment do i have a thread of a chance of getting back with this woman for whom i would lay my own life before if needed. i've never felt so much conviction and strength in my entire life, and it all came from a place of deep pain. the trick is to be as awake as possible, to look at the situation clearly, on a day to day basis. every day has tested me further, and it can be fun, if you make it fun.

we are all on a path, spend your thoughts like money; carefully and toward what you want out of life.

also, this

wtf, it's all screwy

edit: i guess i fixed it. whatever, sheesh

Try having a kid! Omg

Eta: and then talk to me about age/responsibility-related crises....I am supposed to be like teaching my kid French but I'm on watmm instead checking for new boc or something

  On 12/9/2012 at 11:36 PM, goDel said:

premature midlife crisis, or just post-puberty teenage angst?

My default demeanour is one of extended adolescence, this is something else.

  On 12/9/2012 at 11:39 PM, Luke Fucking Hazard said:

K, i feel you.

 

i may have lost the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. things are very shaky and up in the air right now. we are no longer seeing eachother. it is taking indescribable tolls on me, emotionally. today, i just collapsed under the weight of it all. everything hit me at once. the startling realization that i might not be able to climb my way out of this one this time. if i lose her, i'll very much lose a part of myself that i won't be able to recover..

 

on the upside, this alone time has given me an opportunity to know myself in ways i had forgotten since i was a child. i feel like i'm picking up pieces of myself i dropped when i was a kid, putting them back in their place. it is fulfilling, and keeps me interested and excited by life. it is only in this manner of self discipline and betterment do i have a thread of a chance of getting back with this woman for whom i would lay my own life before if needed. i've never felt so much conviction and strength in my entire life, and it all came from a place of deep pain. the trick is to be as awake as possible, to look at the situation clearly, on a day to day basis. every day has tested me further, and it can be fun, if you make it fun.

 

we are all on a path, spend your thoughts like money; carefully and toward what you want out of life.

I get this. I was told "right person, wrong time", and to an extent that was true rather than being an attempt to protect feelings. Under those circumstances it can be the only positive response.

Bloody hell, it's Mimi.

Kids were part of the deal with rich bitch. They're very much off the menu. I'm not to be trusted with responsibility for the time being.

  On 12/9/2012 at 11:39 PM, Luke Fucking Hazard said:

K, i feel you.

 

i may have lost the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. things are very shaky and up in the air right now. we are no longer seeing eachother. it is taking indescribable tolls on me, emotionally. today, i just collapsed under the weight of it all. everything hit me at once. the startling realization that i might not be able to climb my way out of this one this time. if i lose her, i'll very much lose a part of myself that i won't be able to recover..

 

on the upside, this alone time has given me an opportunity to know myself in ways i had forgotten since i was a child. i feel like i'm picking up pieces of myself i dropped when i was a kid, putting them back in their place. it is fulfilling, and keeps me interested and excited by life. it is only in this manner of self discipline and betterment do i have a thread of a chance of getting back with this woman for whom i would lay my own life before if needed. i've never felt so much conviction and strength in my entire life, and it all came from a place of deep pain. the trick is to be as awake as possible, to look at the situation clearly, on a day to day basis. every day has tested me further, and it can be fun, if you make it fun.

 

we are all on a path, spend your thoughts like money; carefully and toward what you want out of life.

pretty much . . this . . exactly . . that's weird

thanks luke, that was helpful

(I'm not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Maybe not, or maybe we're both right person, wrong time. Anyway . .)

  kakapo said:

Bloody hell, it's Mimi.

 

Kids were part of the deal with rich bitch. They're very much off the menu. I'm not to be trusted with responsibility for the time being.

So, basically you're running away from responsibilities now you're in that part of your life when the biological clocks of the ladies start to tick with the ticking sounds amplified by huge speakers?

Oddly I'd just been on a date with one. I really liked her. And still do, btw. But the way she brought the kids stuff to the table really left me grasping for some oxygen. Like she's always there for the kids of her friends. And then she showed some pics and vids on her phone. While subtly mentioning she went to a real rough spot in her life because all her friends had been having kids and she hadn't. I had a real wtf moment when she said that. It felt like emotional blackmail, even if unintended. It was our friggin first date!

And the creepy thing is she's 33 and the general idea is that women normally should have kids before 35, because the risks of complications rise enormously after that age. So, obviously that' s something which is on her mind.

The fucked up part is I feel she deserves to have some kids and all. And this suddenly puts me in the responsibility seat as well. It was our first date! Well, fu for putting me in that spot after just one date! During the date I was too flabbergasted to say something about it and instead kept the small talk going. The next day we were supposed to go to some museum, but instead I cancelled it with some excuse. But telling her we will be going another time. Which I actually meant. But the thing is, I felt she put me in a spot where continuing dating with her would mean a future with kids.

What makes it a bit less creepy is that I do feel she's a victim of her biological clock. Instead of being a psychomaniac. She said she went through a rough spot, but she was obviously still in the middle of it. She almost broke in tears, but kept her composure when she mentioned it. Normally I'm not scared for being a bit frank. But this was a rough point in the conversation.

We did have fun though. And there was lots of other stuff. This just put a ticking time bomb under the whole situation.next date will prolly start with a serious conversation. If there is a next. I haven't heard from her after canceling the museum trip. Which was 2 days ago.

Anyways, my 2 cents for life being a crazy ass fucking disaster trip.

No time for a leather jacket though.

If it's any consolation, I'm approaching 30 and haven't yet ever gone on a date before. Not sure if that's good or bad.

  On 12/10/2012 at 8:45 AM, xxx said:

 

  On 12/9/2012 at 10:28 PM, kakapo said:

Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

wander again and see if dogging is something that might cure your ails...

 

RE: goDel

Kids are a recurring "sticking point" for me as well. Every one of my IRL friends have already squeezed 'em out and, shit, some of the spawn are already dangerously close to high school and that's a mindfuck. But, I take solace in this distinctly Euro world of WATMM where 33 is still a time to wonder about leather jackets and having kids straight out of high school is a uniquely Christian Midwest/inner city past time here in America.

 

The problem is that my wife is having stirrings that could become full-blown baby pangs like your ladyfriend has. However, she is also very suggestible and I easily talk her into the joys of a plentiful bank account, sleeping in on the weekends, drinking heavily at a whim and generally living the ultimate teenage dream as we are at the moment. After a successful squashing of baby talk, I myself become conflicted though. I read an interesting longitudnal study that found much higher levels of life satisfaction in young, childless married couples than their rugrat-shackled contemporaries. This trend reversed after 50--couples with kids reported more life satisfaction than the childless folks. The conclusions are left up to you but the result is the same: early 30's suck because you know you have to pull the trigger on a whole host of heavy topics and there is no going back without a lot of headache and sacrifice. The things you decide now will impact you at the point where you can't decide anymore.

 

Kids are one of those heavy topics but money is as well. The lesson of my parents is bearing down on me lately. They spent like there was no tomorrow but it was hard to see that as a problem because it was always for fun. They never cared about status or keeping up with the Jones' so my sister and I had an extremely indulged childhood that was fucking awesome. Then, I grew up and out of that craven materialism, which is a terrible trap of its own. My parents make great money now but they can't stop. A lot of that spending was done on Greenspan's get-rich-quick plan of home equity loans and the easy credit of the 90's so now they have a buttfucking huge mortgage when house prices are beyond tanked. They are close to fixing the mess but what does it profit a person to be at 0 when they're closing in on 70? Sometimes they have a desperate voice on the phone like prisoners in a Russian work camp when they say "start saving now! we're so tired but we're stuck!" My dad also gave me a grim warning. I was telling him how fast time seems to go now that I'm older. A year is like a month to my 10 year old self. He said that when he turned 40, it was like 60 was waiting for him the next morning. Life is apparently like Wonka's boat ride.

 

The midlife crisis may be midlife if I only make it to 66 but this is much more of a "death of adolescence" thing for me. It sucks that everything doesn't "pop" like it used to: drugs, music, sex, girls, friends, ideas, etc. The 30's are a funkiller--this much is true.

 

*starts drinking*

I feel bad for Lady Kakapo.

  On 12/10/2012 at 9:35 AM, usagi said:

 

  On 12/10/2012 at 9:10 AM, Obel said:

 

  On 12/10/2012 at 8:45 AM, xxx said:

 

  On 12/9/2012 at 10:28 PM, kakapo said:

Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

wander again and see if dogging is something that might cure your ails...

 

RE: goDel

Kids are a recurring "sticking point" for me as well. Every one of my IRL friends have already squeezed 'em out and, shit, some of the spawn are already dangerously close to high school and that's a mindfuck. But, I take solace in this distinctly Euro world of WATMM where 33 is still a time to wonder about leather jackets and having kids straight out of high school is a uniquely Christian Midwest/inner city past time here in America.

 

The problem is that my wife is having stirrings that could become full-blown baby pangs like your ladyfriend has. However, she is also very suggestible and I easily talk her into the joys of a plentiful bank account, sleeping in on the weekends, drinking heavily at a whim and generally living the ultimate teenage dream as we are at the moment. After a successful squashing of baby talk, I myself become conflicted though. I read an interesting longitudnal study that found much higher levels of life satisfaction in young, childless married couples than their rugrat-shackled contemporaries. This trend reversed after 50--couples with kids reported more life satisfaction than the childless folks. The conclusions are left up to you but the result is the same: early 30's suck because you know you have to pull the trigger on a whole host of heavy topics and there is no going back without a lot of headache and sacrifice. The things you decide now will impact you at the point where you can't decide anymore.

 

Kids are one of those heavy topics but money is as well. The lesson of my parents is bearing down on me lately. They spent like there was no tomorrow but it was hard to see that as a problem because it was always for fun. They never cared about status or keeping up with the Jones' so my sister and I had an extremely indulged childhood that was fucking awesome. Then, I grew up and out of that craven materialism, which is a terrible trap of its own. My parents make great money now but they can't stop. A lot of that spending was done on Greenspan's get-rich-quick plan of home equity loans and the easy credit of the 90's so now they have a buttfucking huge mortgage when house prices are beyond tanked. They are close to fixing the mess but what does it profit a person to be at 0 when they're closing in on 70? Sometimes they have a desperate voice on the phone like prisoners in a Russian work camp when they say "start saving now! we're so tired but we're stuck!" My dad also gave me a grim warning. I was telling him how fast time seems to go now that I'm older. A year is like a month to my 10 year old self. He said that when he turned 40, it was like 60 was waiting for him the next morning. Life is apparently like Wonka's boat ride.

 

The midlife crisis may be midlife if I only make it to 66 but this is much more of a "death of adolescence" thing for me. It sucks that everything doesn't "pop" like it used to: drugs, music, sex, girls, friends, ideas, etc. The 30's are a funkiller--this much is true.

 

 

 

 

*starts drinking*

 

 

fucking hell.

 

*starts drinking too*

 

*takes bottle of sleeping pills*

Hell with it. Nothing we can do about getting older. But we can still do the shit we love.

  On 12/10/2012 at 8:13 AM, ambermonk said:

If it's any consolation, I'm approaching 30 and haven't yet ever gone on a date before. Not sure if that's good or bad.

awkward post is awkward