Need help with 2 songs

ive been writing these songs for about 3-4 months now and for about 2 of those months i have been staring at my screen not knowing what to do. so id like to get some help from you guys. can you give me some ideas on what to do with this? theres one part in the first song that i need help with and as for the second song i only have a skeleton and cant think of what to put on top of it.

http://soundcloud.com/bewegungrecords/incomplete/s-nnoKy

I'm writing this as I'm listening...

I would probably add a low pass filter on the first 30-40 secs that slowly opens up.

I like the percussion you've got hidden underneath the the ambient layers.

Not a big fan of the drums. They're too ethnic-sounding (just waiting for the indian vocals to kick in ;) ) or maybe too sample pack-sounding. Based on the sound of your ambient layers I would probably just keep the drums extremely simple. Maybe just a simple and deep 4/4 kick to compliment the hypnotic ambient?

The break before the part where you don't know what to do is cool. Now if the drums had been nothing but that 4/4 kick I was talking about I would pop it back in at around 3:22 but now with a rim shot snare on every fourth beat - almost dub-like, you know?

There we go. Squee nailed it: add some indian vocals and you're set! lol jk.

The first song is a lovely ambient piece. But it does feel like it could use something more. Perhaps a lead, on top of the pads, that is heavily reverbed and smooth. Nothing harsh sounding. I think a nice little melody on top would benefit the song.

I like the chop of the second tune as I'm listening to it right now. And again, perhaps a mellow lead synth playing a nice little melody would help. And don't forget to marinate it with heavy reverb for at least a day before consuming.

...I think I like reverb too much... it's something I'm working on... It's just difficult as I can't find a Reverberators Anonymous anywhere.

  On 3/16/2013 at 9:49 PM, Squee said:

I'm writing this as I'm listening...

I would probably add a low pass filter on the first 30-40 secs that slowly opens up.

I like the percussion you've got hidden underneath the the ambient layers.

Not a big fan of the drums. They're too ethnic-sounding (just waiting for the indian vocals to kick in ;) ) or maybe too sample pack-sounding. Based on the sound of your ambient layers I would probably just keep the drums extremely simple. Maybe just a simple and deep 4/4 kick to compliment the hypnotic ambient?

The break before the part where you don't know what to do is cool. Now if the drums had been nothing but that 4/4 kick I was talking about I would pop it back in at around 3:22 but now with a rim shot snare on every fourth beat - almost dub-like, you know?

i get what your saying. ive been on the fence with ethnic drums, i like them and they were what i was going for when i originally made the song. but like you say, i think i may have over done it and kinda pulled away from the spacy vibe and turned it more into a tribal trance kinda thing. which really wasnt what i wanted.

  On 3/16/2013 at 10:09 PM, 747Music said:

There we go. Squee nailed it: add some indian vocals and you're set! lol jk.

 

The first song is a lovely ambient piece. But it does feel like it could use something more. Perhaps a lead, on top of the pads, that is heavily reverbed and smooth. Nothing harsh sounding. I think a nice little melody on top would benefit the song.

 

I like the chop of the second tune as I'm listening to it right now. And again, perhaps a mellow lead synth playing a nice little melody would help. And don't forget to marinate it with heavy reverb for at least a day before consuming.

 

 

...I think I like reverb too much... it's something I'm working on... It's just difficult as I can't find a Reverberators Anonymous anywhere.

lol, theres no such thing as too much reverb! ill give it a try.

Thanks guys! and if anyone else has any ideas id love to hear em.

I'm about 7 minutes in and staring to get a little bored. The premise is interesting, but, in my humble opinion, there needs to be a nifying element, a voice, a sample, some drums that come in a little sooner than 8 minutes. Trance isn't exactly my cup of tea, but, right now it's suited for the new Terminator...perfect for Arnold's 4th rebirth scene. I should check out more of your music so I am more familiar with your style, but do all of your songs go 12 minutes? Anyway. I've had writer block for over a year before. Worst feeling ever...I totally empathize. Good luck.

  On 3/17/2013 at 2:50 AM, gNAT said:

I'm about 7 minutes in and staring to get a little bored. The premise is interesting, but, in my humble opinion, there needs to be a nifying element, a voice, a sample, some drums that come in a little sooner than 8 minutes. Trance isn't exactly my cup of tea, but, right now it's suited for the new Terminator...perfect for Arnold's 4th rebirth scene. I should check out more of your music so I am more familiar with your style, but do all of your songs go 12 minutes? Anyway. I've had writer block for over a year before. Worst feeling ever...I totally empathize. Good luck.

thanks, and its really two songs. one leads into the other, so really its 2 6-minute songs.

and no, most my stuff ranges 4-6 minutes long.

Listening as I type.
The first track is relaxing, light positive vibrations. First thought I had was to add some 'samples' in the background with emphasis on reverb/delays this is really what I would add, especially where you said "here I don't know what to do". for example faint talking, vocals, some sort of voice or sounds that compliments it, with delays. Maby you could sample things your self.
Its very minimal which is really lovely. I like the purcussion, maby you could add a some high pitched perc/synth hits with verb and/or like most of 16 hits in the sequence to make a 'circle', if you Know what I mean. It could do with some high end 'sparkle' here and there basically.

Overall you have done a great job, sounds perfect for some game music or something. Nice one

  On 3/17/2013 at 7:58 PM, LucidVibes said:

Listening as I type.

The first track is relaxing, light positive vibrations. First thought I had was to add some 'samples' in the background with emphasis on reverb/delays this is really what I would add, especially where you said "here I don't know what to do". for example faint talking, vocals, some sort of voice or sounds that compliments it, with delays. Maby you could sample things your self.

Its very minimal which is really lovely. I like the purcussion, maby you could add a some high pitched perc/synth hits with verb and/or like most of 16 hits in the sequence to make a 'circle', if you Know what I mean. It could do with some high end 'sparkle' here and there basically.

 

Overall you have done a great job, sounds perfect for some game music or something. Nice one

thanks! ill make sure to try some of that out.

Hi there, I like the atmosphere but the whole thing feels a bit empty and 'going nowhere' kind of feel, I would try some sort of vocal-choirs lead with spacious reverb or maybe gator, modulated & filtered as it flows, this will add another dimension to the already nice base of sounds. I'm not too keen on the drums, would try processed acoustic drums or sounds, create something more unusual, surprising and original, probably with some additional layer of rhythmic sounds with a bit of reverb in the background. All the best!

https://soundcloud.com/subradial

thanks for the feedback. i think the general consensus is ditch the drums. i think cause ive heard em so many times that i believed they were good. as for vocals, i really suck with em. i could try but i doubt i could make it sound good.

  On 3/22/2013 at 12:13 AM, Frankie5fingers said:

thanks for the feedback. i think the general consensus is ditch the drums. i think cause ive heard em so many times that i believed they were good. as for vocals, i really suck with em. i could try but i doubt i could make it sound good.

Not trying won't enhance your skill set. If you think it would sound good, give it a go and get more feedback. That's the only way you'll learn

  On 3/22/2013 at 12:13 AM, Frankie5fingers said:

thanks for the feedback. i think the general consensus is ditch the drums. i think cause ive heard em so many times that i believed they were good. as for vocals, i really suck with em. i could try but i doubt i could make it sound good.

If you wanna get better at singing I suggest singing along to whatever instrument(s) you play. I spent alot of time stretching out my range by singing along to my guitar practice rituals.

  On 3/25/2013 at 6:53 AM, hautlle said:

 

  On 3/22/2013 at 12:13 AM, Frankie5fingers said:

thanks for the feedback. i think the general consensus is ditch the drums. i think cause ive heard em so many times that i believed they were good. as for vocals, i really suck with em. i could try but i doubt i could make it sound good.

 

Not trying won't enhance your skill set. If you think it would sound good, give it a go and get more feedback. That's the only way you'll learn

i totally agree with ya. and ill give it a go.

  On 3/25/2013 at 6:58 AM, LimpyLoo said:

 

  On 3/22/2013 at 12:13 AM, Frankie5fingers said:

thanks for the feedback. i think the general consensus is ditch the drums. i think cause ive heard em so many times that i believed they were good. as for vocals, i really suck with em. i could try but i doubt i could make it sound good.

 

If you wanna get better at singing I suggest singing along to whatever instrument(s) you play. I spent alot of time stretching out my range by singing along to my guitar practice rituals.

i do want to point out im not bad at singing. what i meant is that i suck at mixing vocals (shoulda made that more clear). and i intended to use female vocals, not my own.

ok. so after finding a little time here and there i finally got to do a little more to the first song. i still think there is more that i can do to it but im still not sure.

http://soundcloud.com/bewegungrecords/wip/s-QqULE

Dont really have any input on the track. I enjoyed when the drums came in.

Was quite nice to jam melodies over too

The only thing I dislike about that track is the claps. Way too thin sounding. Rest was pretty enjoyable, I think. Video game-y.

More cowbell!

thanks guys, glad you enjoyed it. im thinking of shortening the mid section with the vocals. seems to go on to long.

@Foil: yeah, i kept the claps the same from the last edit. but now they dont really fit. ill have to work on em so they fit in better.