Macca Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 "One great thing about the decline of the British Empire has been the steady trickle of old war toys that wash up on English shores. I bought my Daimler Ferret Mark 3 tank in a deal that was a bit shady really, kind of an exchange. I paid some money and swapped some, um, "things" with this guy I knew in Cornwall. He gave me his tank (well, technically it's an armored scout car). He'd gotten it from some guy who used to rent it out to movies. Before that the Ferret was, I am told, used on missions in faraway places like India, Indonesia, Northern Ireland, and South Africa. "Crowd control." My tank was made for the British army right after World War II. It's a big toy—larger than an ice cream truck, heavier than 9,500 pounds when combat-ready, with big fat wheels. And a gun. I like the Ferret not for its place in history, but for the place it occupies in my parents' backyard. (I moved from Cornwall to London and haven't sent for it yet.) When I lived in Cornwall, I'd drive it around town. It's easy to get carried away when you're raving down the thoroughfare in a steel-hulled tank. You become the colossus of roads. You don't even have to signal—people simply get right out of your way. I've fooled around in it, but I haven't actually had sex in it. For one thing, it would probably be pretty painful. Every time I get into the tank I bang my fingers on something. But without any question there's a sexual quality to being in there. Maybe controlling all that heavy metal—being able to force your way through most any hedgerow or barricade with very little effort—is some kind of subconscious sexual compensation. For the record, my gun is at least thirty inches long, and, not to brag, but it's pretty powerful. You have to be careful not to hold your finger too long on the trigger. If you fire too many shots at once and the barrel gets too hot, it melts. The vehicle pisses over virtual reality or any computer game I've ever played. It's an all-encompassing environment. You can't listen to any music inside—the engine's too loud. You have to listen to the tank's own sounds, which I've really come to like and have used on lots of records. The engine generates quite a nice noise when it's turning over, but when you're revving the Ferret, you get sort of scared. Usually when you're in a car you learn to be concerned about damaging the vehicle you're driving, but in the tank you only worry about the mayhem you are about to inflict on others. All you have to do is touch another car as you drive and you've totally demolished it. Once, I sort of took the front end off a sedan that was parked unattended near my house. One of the good things about the Ferret is that it can attain speeds of up to forty-five miles per hour, forward and backward. I got out of there pretty quick. If you move just a fraction of an inch too far with the Ferret, you're going right through somebody's wall. Steering a tank is a lot harder than working a mixing board in the studio—I never knew turning a sharp corner could be such a sweaty job. But once you get over your fear of losing control, being in the tank gives you a feeling of great security. There's a nice sense of inner peace, because you know that nothing is ever going to hurt you. It's like a womb...with a gun. " Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
th555 Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) "things" = drugs, or am I missing something? edit: or unreleased tracks haha Yes I know, jazz and stuff... Edited April 5, 2013 by th555 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide th555's signature Hide all signatures https://www.youtube.com/user/THkaas/videos https://thisjepisje.bandcamp.com/ https://soundcloud.com/th555 Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979450 Share on other sites More sharing options...
zkom Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 I've sometimes wondered if he actually owns the tank or if he was just trolling the media, lol. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide zkom's signature Hide all signatures electro mini-album Megacity Rainfall "cacas in igne, heus" - Emperor Nero, AD 64 Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979456 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 There's pictures with him and the tank, so that's a true part of the RDJ Mythology™. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures Follow WATMM on Twitter: @WATMMOfficial Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979483 Share on other sites More sharing options...
th555 Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 On 4/5/2013 at 6:37 PM, Joyrex said: There's pictures with him and the tank, so that's a true part of the RDJ Mythology™. Thank god! Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide th555's signature Hide all signatures https://www.youtube.com/user/THkaas/videos https://thisjepisje.bandcamp.com/ https://soundcloud.com/th555 Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979549 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adieu Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mTl4KPRXJ8 Obviously, Richard was just trying to emulate his heroes. Edited April 5, 2013 by AdieuErsatzEnnui Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Adieu's signature Hide all signatures There will be new love from the ashes of us. Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979591 Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshuatxuk Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 It's an armored car, not a tank, but I suppose that's like trying to correct someone who calls Kraftwerk "techno" Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide joshuatxuk's signature Hide all signatures Tape Escape! Aural Canyon Wood Between Worlds Tapes [joshuatxuk-is-dead] Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979639 Share on other sites More sharing options...
marf Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 so the gun on the tank is legal in the uk? Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979944 Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 zole what a nutter truly living the idm dream Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide modey's signature Hide all signatures youtube | bandcamp | soundcloud | twitter | facebook 0F.digital Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979947 Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesomeperson Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Here's an old photo of him with the armored car: Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1979956 Share on other sites More sharing options...
awepittance Posted April 7, 2013 Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 On 4/5/2013 at 6:37 PM, Joyrex said: There's pictures with him and the tank, so that's a true part of the RDJ Mythology™. couldn't he just be standing next to a random tank though? I personally never believed it, but I admit it's possible. I just assumed it was another hilarious lie Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide awepittance's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980078 Share on other sites More sharing options...
J3FF3R00 Posted April 7, 2013 Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 On 4/6/2013 at 9:19 PM, vasio said: Here's an old photo of him with the armored car: kinda looks shopped Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide J3FF3R00's signature Hide all signatures 666 Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980106 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KovalainenFanBoy Posted April 7, 2013 Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 Quote Maybe controlling all that heavy metal—being able to force your way through most any hedgerow or barricade with very little effort—is some kind of subconscious sexual compensation. At least he admits it Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide KovalainenFanBoy's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980220 Share on other sites More sharing options...
zkom Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 On 4/6/2013 at 8:58 PM, marf said: so the gun on the tank is legal in the uk? It could be deactivated? But I'm not really convinced by the photographic evidence on this case. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide zkom's signature Hide all signatures electro mini-album Megacity Rainfall "cacas in igne, heus" - Emperor Nero, AD 64 Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980643 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Jan Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 On 4/8/2013 at 6:33 AM, mokz said: On 4/6/2013 at 8:58 PM, marf said: so the gun on the tank is legal in the uk? It could be deactivated? But I'm not really convinced by the photographic evidence on this case. http://www.aphextwin.nu/visuals/98132037810949.shtml And recently someone posted this long audio interview (35 minutes long or something) which starts out with a 5 minute conversation about the details of the tank, next to all the other interviews he's confirmed it in. I don't think it's that hard to believe actually, it's not like it is a panzer tank or something, just an armoured scout car. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980717 Share on other sites More sharing options...
zkom Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 Yeah, I think it's in the realm of possibility but I'm remaining a bit skeptical. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide zkom's signature Hide all signatures electro mini-album Megacity Rainfall "cacas in igne, heus" - Emperor Nero, AD 64 Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980721 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KovalainenFanBoy Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 I will remain skeptical until Richie takes me for a ride Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide KovalainenFanBoy's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980862 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 On 4/8/2013 at 10:40 AM, Herr Jan said: On 4/8/2013 at 6:33 AM, mokz said: On 4/6/2013 at 8:58 PM, marf said: so the gun on the tank is legal in the uk? It could be deactivated? But I'm not really convinced by the photographic evidence on this case. http://www.aphextwin.nu/visuals/98132037810949.shtml And recently someone posted this long audio interview (35 minutes long or something) which starts out with a 5 minute conversation about the details of the tank, next to all the other interviews he's confirmed it in. I don't think it's that hard to believe actually, it's not like it is a panzer tank or something, just an armoured scout car. On 4/7/2013 at 2:10 AM, John Ehrlichman said: On 4/5/2013 at 6:37 PM, Joyrex said: There's pictures with him and the tank, so that's a true part of the RDJ Mythology™. couldn't he just be standing next to a random tank though? I personally never believed it, but I admit it's possible. I just assumed it was another hilarious lie Look at the serial markings in the two photos... same tank. Now, the submarine rumour... Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures Follow WATMM on Twitter: @WATMMOfficial Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1980917 Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshuatxuk Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 On 4/8/2013 at 6:33 AM, mokz said: On 4/6/2013 at 8:58 PM, marf said: so the gun on the tank is legal in the uk? It could be deactivated? But I'm not really convinced by the photographic evidence on this case. I actually read an article in Motor Trend (or Road and Track...I forget) about the Bovington tank festival held yearly. People drive their army surpus trucks, armored cars (the Ferret RDJ owns is quite popular among collectors) and even full-blown tanks. Some of the UK owners had even imported ex-Soviet trucks and armored personal carriers. They do re-enchantments as well. Apparently it's easier to own such vehicles in the UK than in the US, and yes the weaponry is removed. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide joshuatxuk's signature Hide all signatures Tape Escape! Aural Canyon Wood Between Worlds Tapes [joshuatxuk-is-dead] Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1981025 Share on other sites More sharing options...
marf Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 the tank story is very real Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1981031 Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshuatxuk Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 On 4/7/2013 at 3:45 AM, jefferoo said: On 4/6/2013 at 9:19 PM, vasio said: Here's an old photo of him with the armored car: kinda looks shopped hah yep Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide joshuatxuk's signature Hide all signatures Tape Escape! Aural Canyon Wood Between Worlds Tapes [joshuatxuk-is-dead] Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1981114 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcofribas Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 lol Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1981180 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilt17 Posted April 9, 2013 Report Share Posted April 9, 2013 On 4/8/2013 at 9:58 PM, joshuatx said: On 4/7/2013 at 3:45 AM, jefferoo said: On 4/6/2013 at 9:19 PM, vasio said: Here's an old photo of him with the armored car: kinda looks shopped hah yep It's Acid Kirk Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1981511 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ronus Posted April 12, 2013 Report Share Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) lol afx junkie troller spotted Edited April 12, 2013 by Ronus Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1983119 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted April 13, 2013 Report Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) On 4/5/2013 at 5:27 PM, Macca said: this is well good, best moments: when blue car nearly pulls out in front of ferret, see's it and backs the fuck out of the way when burning along and squeals tyres taking a sharp right into a juntion Edited April 13, 2013 by BCM Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide BCM's signature Hide all signatures Bandcamp | Spotify | SoundCloud | Amazon | Apple Music | YouTube | YouTube Music | Deezer | Google Play Music Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/78343-life-as-a-tankboy/#findComment-1983967 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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