Snail Slime

"Snail slime facials - the new beauty treatment coming out of Tokyo, Japan! Tokyo beauticians are leaving snail trails - secreted by live molluscs as they slither slowly across your face. "The snail slime makes your skin really supple and takes care of those dry, flakey, rashy, bumpy, peeling, scaly patches. It's also has great sensual properties and moisturises the skin. So when your face is all dried out and blistering with pussy soars it can really help the repairing process," beautician Manami Takamura said."

[youtubehd]V7p4o9Jc9sw[/youtubehd]

"pussy soars"

pussy doodles

It won't be long now before somebody collects a jar of snail slime.

*rubs hands together expectantly*

That's interesting, but what about http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/bird-poop-facial

http://youtu.be/goMpEAJNGMc

pigeon poo facials r readily available for free. search the pavement for signs of a good location, position yourself correctly and then smear the fecal matter evenly across the face. allow to air-dry, then rinse after a suitable amount of time, several hours is usually sufficient

that's interesting, but what about japanese shit burgers?

japanese shit burger facials?

on my 2nd story balcony i sometimes leave a towel out for my cats since the floor out there is like rough sandpaper and a few times recently i will wake up and discover a squiggly snail/slug mucous trail somewhere inside the towl but nowhere else. it looks like a snail/slug transported onto the dry towel, had a mucous party and transported away. could a bird/owl/bat be dropping slugs on my towel?

since snails and slugs are kinda the same thing could they just let slugs crawl on your face? the definitely cover more surface area

Snails took my job. *shakes fist*

'Pussy soars' flol.

Also, finally. Something I can masturbate to.