a mildly troubling thought about my own artistic endeavors

So while I was falling asleep tonight I came upon a bit of an unfortunate revelation. I realized that the majority of the time I spend learning a song, reading a book, or drawing or whatnot, I don't do so for personal exploration or growth. The majority of my motivation for the artistic endeavor comes from the hope of greater acceptance and understanding from the people around me. For instance, if I learn a song on the piano or guitar, I don't learn it to explore and expand my own psyche. Instead, I feel like I learn the song in the hopes of essentially getting a pat on the head and having somebody think "Wow, I never knew he had such depth! What a fascinating guy!". Or if I'm reading a book, most of the time it's to be able to say, "Hey, I've read that book!" and seem somewhat knowledgeable and impressive on the subject. I'm pretty sure now that this feeling is probably due to a deeper insecurity that I have with myself. Maybe I need to start meditating or going on long bike rides or something along those lines.

Anyways, this isn't much of a thread topic. A bit more like a sudden thought that occurred to me. So say what you may, or not. Just felt like I had to get this off my chest.

Is the stuff you do good? According to yourself at least?

hmm sounds like you are motivated by personal development your penis, that's not a bad thing.

Sounds like you are a human.

Yeah nothing wrong with challenging yourself with things you may not like initially. Just be sure to mix in some pleasurable activities. Most people like getting praise for their efforts. It's only human, as olo pointed out.

nothing wrong in wanting to get laid

If you do things that you're passionate about, you'll meet people that appreciate those things and your passion. In my experience, you'll get laid less and make fewer acquaintances. But the ones you make will be real.

Also, you'll be doing yourself the greatest favor by living a genuine life. Nothing feels better. Everyone that leads a genuine life enriches the world with their honesty and purity of intention.

  On 9/10/2013 at 3:04 PM, olo said:

Sounds like you are a human.

  On 9/10/2013 at 4:06 PM, phling said:

nothing wrong in wanting to get laid

just be sure to never mention your IDM past when you eventually do get to this point for maximum vag

I'd say machinedrum could slam his face through several glass planes and still get mega poon. The man is makin dem sweet choonz

you make music for others for yourself, and you make music for yourself for others.

just make it sound really good.

Brave thing to say... I could say I was a bit of the same when I was in high school, then as I aged to now my latest 20ies I have completely de-branded myself. I guess it could be due to finally feeling comfortable with myself and or finding myself. I'm also old enough now that I'm not really interested in people who are only going to take me at face value. I don't have time for the BS and games anymore. Things are much simpler for me now and I have never been happier.

vag maximum

  On 9/10/2013 at 11:08 PM, A/D said:

If you do things that you're passionate about, you'll meet people that appreciate those things and your passion. In my experience, you'll get laid less and make fewer acquaintances. But the ones you make will be real.

 

Also, you'll be doing yourself the greatest favor by living a genuine life. Nothing feels better. Everyone that leads a genuine life enriches the world with their honesty and purity of intention.

A/D I like the cut of your jib

take a break. maybe if you starve yourself of creative expression you will find deeper meaning in it when you try again

What you describe is perfectly normal. Just be glad you can realize it and admit it in true and simple terms.

This thread is beautiful.

according to Freud, everything you ever do is geared towards getting laid.

I thought I agreed with this, and then I remembered how I feel when I don't get to be creative. I think I could go longer without sex than I could without making something. I think that for sure there is always part of us that drifts into that theoretical sphere of being admired by all your peers and heroes. Being rich, famous, etc. Living the dream as you could call it. I think it can take you places to strive for that sort of acknowledgment, but at the end of the day you have to decide if what you do is about business and fame, or if it is about love, passion, and catharsis. They both lead to somewhat different places in my opinion, but they aren't mutually exclusive. It is all a matter of what you focus on. There isn't anything wrong with demonstrating value as an individual, but I think being balanced with it is always the best approach.

Do you want to be like Aphex Twin or Deadmau5?

i want to be...

Thanks lumpy!