Root5 Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 I'm supposed to make people laugh with a single joke at this dinner thing I'm going to. Any suggestions? Jokes must be reasonably kid friendly. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Root5's signature Hide all signatures WATMM Christmas Albums: 2011 2012 2013 2014MOST IDM Tribute Albums: Incomplete Skyscrapers Rogue Planet Mycorhizae Olympus Mons HeadphonesOther Compilation Albums: Heading for Outer Space Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shit Attack Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 whats brown and sticky ? A STICK Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2080979 Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 Root5 asks an internet forum for an halpful joke Fuck him! Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide essines's signature Hide all signatures On 8/19/2011 at 11:51 PM, Luke Fucking Hazard said: Essines has, and always will remind me of MacReady. Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2080985 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Ooze Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 Abbath and Varg were sitting in bath Abbath farted and Varg was flat Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Ivan Ooze's signature Hide all signatures On 2/26/2015 at 9:39 AM, RupturedSouls said: This drugs makes me feel like I'm on song! On 9/1/2014 at 5:50 PM, StephenG said: I'm hardly a closed minded nun. Remember, I'm on a fucking IDM forum.... an IDM forum.. Think about that for a second before claiming people are closed minded nuns. Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081009 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pennywise Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 pick a girl at the dinner and do this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rgbYzyXJyE Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081023 Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 2 peanuts were walking down the road, one was a-salted.. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide YEK's signature Hide all signatures Reveal hidden contents !:/music Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081036 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RadarJammer Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 what do you get when you cross Luke Perry and a wheel barrow? Reveal hidden contents worthless garbage, take it into the backyard and burn it Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081037 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 *insert bad Lou Reed joke* Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081038 Share on other sites More sharing options...
eugene Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 On 10/27/2013 at 9:04 PM, phling said: *insert bad Lou Reed joke* Why did Lou Reed die in the age of 72 ? Probably because of heavy drug usage in the past. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081040 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 On 10/27/2013 at 9:08 PM, eugene said: On 10/27/2013 at 9:04 PM, phling said: *insert bad Lou Reed joke* Why did Lou Reed die in the age of 72 ? Probably because of heavy drug usage in the past. Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081045 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shit Attack Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 whats brown and sticky and in the news at the moment ? lou reed holding a stick !!!! sorry Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081046 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Atom Dowry Firth Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 That man's hat is rather grimy Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081052 Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 On 10/27/2013 at 9:25 PM, Timothy Forward said: That man's hat is rather grimy he doesn't give a fuck. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide YEK's signature Hide all signatures Reveal hidden contents !:/music Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081054 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 why didn't the sanitary towel like the tampon? Reveal hidden contents because they were a stuck up cunt Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures Reveal hidden contents Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081073 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Atom Dowry Firth Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very bad breath. He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081083 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 you what sorry? Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures Reveal hidden contents Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081085 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Foil Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 *Knock knock* Who's there? The police, your wife's been found dead. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081086 Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeyemusik Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 I guess, because of WATMM, the part about child friendly was missed. How about this one.... Did you hear about the lonely prisoner? He was in his cell. (n.b. - may require provincial accent) Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide jeyemusik's signature Hide all signatures http://jeye.bandcamp.com Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081092 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Atom Dowry Firth Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 On 10/27/2013 at 10:39 PM, MadameChaos said: you what sorry? I had to trawl through some really terrible jokes to find that gem! Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081096 Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbpete Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 I liked it man - went on a winding tale of mysterious things before coming together ! Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures I haven't eaten a Wagon Wheel since 07/11/07... ilovecubus.co.uk - 25ml of mp3 taken twice daily. Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081100 Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdust Posted October 27, 2013 Report Share Posted October 27, 2013 "Did you hear about the new Aphex Twin Album coming out in December?" Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081102 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leon Sumbitches Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 ... ... ... ... ... Reveal hidden contents THE ARISTOCRATS! Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Leon Sumbitches's signature Hide all signatures Rain Over Mountain is out now; 100% of Bandcamp sales are donated to the Motor Neurone Disease Association: https://tanizaki.bandcamp.com/album/rain-over-mountain Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081150 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calx Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came. At that point, she whispered the 5 words no man wants to hear: "Who the fuck was that?" ... I walked into my dads bedroom and under the bed I saw a suitcase half open. My curiosity got the better of me so I opened the case in it was a leather mask, a leather cape, crutchless leather shorts and a leather whip..... I couldn't fkin believe it....my dad. . . . . . .a super hero!!! ... Try this puzzle This maths sequence can predict your favorite film...mine was Star Wars. Not sure how it works but it does!! Pick a number between 1-9 Multiply by 3 Add 3 to that number Multiply again by 3 Add the two digits together 3. Oliver Twist 4. Star Wars 5. Forrest Gump 6. Saving Private Ryan 7. Jaws 8. Grease 9. The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Goats and Leather-clad, Oiled-up Lady Boys. 10.Mary Poppins ... They may need tweaking slightly. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081156 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptowen Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 find the nearest small child, kneel down in front of them, look them in the eye, hold their shoulders, then crap your pants & start screaming. don't stop doing either of these things until you pass out or you see colon Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Cryptowen's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081164 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 28, 2013 Report Share Posted October 28, 2013 What do you call a donkey with wings?A Pegusass. Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/81021-i-need-a-joke/#findComment-2081168 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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