What would you do if you knew you only had two weeks left to live?

So the doctor tells you the news. There's poison in your body. Can't get rid of it. You've got two weeks left. What do you do?

Comedy/serious answers both welcome here

  On 11/16/2013 at 2:50 AM, chunky said:

What do you do?

Acid.

Replace all my blood with acid.

save san francisco from the riddler

  On 11/16/2013 at 2:58 AM, Deer said:

save san francisco from the riddler

dude

.....oh and prolly i would go to europe and do some traveling and take drugs and use the line as a means to get lots of pussy. I don't really see a point in creating anything at that time. the 2 weeks would disappear in an instant and your fear would be hanging over it.

yeah, drugs, travels (that would kill a lot of time so maybe no), sex no duh

i would also try reunite black dog productions (play a live version bytes/spanners while i do drugs), maybe spend a couple of days in afx's vault listening to unreleased material.

rape and murder.

I'd see my closest families and friends. I wouldn't tell them. I'd then say I was on vacation and live out the last week with wife and our cat and dog in the cabin we'd go to. On the last day I'd go into the desert and die under the sky. If I'm found, I want to be cremated.

If I'm old and alone I'd sail out to the middle of the ocean, wade out when I'm on my last bit of strength, and well, give my body back to nature.

Stop going to school; visit family; make a swan song track.

first, i would take twelve days and raise money for a charity supposedly set up to grant a dying child his last wish. the money actually goes to me. with the money raised, i would book a flight to london, one way. at the airport, i am greeted by a party bus. it is going to cornwall. the bus is filled with the best escorts from china, japan, ladyboys from thailand, ricky jay doing card tricks, a qrio robot and tim westwood. we arrive in cornwall and i stop into a chip shop and tell them i need to find richard d. james. they give me a map to his lair, located in a cavern near the sea. the party bus unloads and we proceed down the cliffs to a superstructure built into the beach. a slot opens in the ground and a mechanical eye focuses on me. it asks what gifts i have brought, and i produce a burlap sack, soaked with blood, and roll moby's head into the slot. there is chewing and a retching sound, and then a giant door shudders open in the sand. we proceed downward into the structure. after what seems like hours we reach a bank of tv screens in a crystalline room. various aphex twin videos start playing and then a tv in the center of the room displays a hallway. we walk into the tv which is actually a door. we reach a bank vault. a hunchbacked man with glasses opens the vault. i recognize him. it is cylob. he has gone blind and his skin is translucent. he gestures toward a gigantic chair. in the chair sits richard. he stands and walks toward me, cautiously, then he relaxes, recognition in his eyes. he points. "watmm?". i nod and he begins to laugh, a deep melodious sound that reverberates around the vault. tim westwood walks over and offers his hand, but richard smacks it away, growling. he walks up to me and gives me a bear hug. i begin to cry. we set up and proceed to party for the next eight hours. richard, qrio and i run a train on the ladyboys. i give qrio a thumbs up and he breaks tim westwood's neck. we cook and eat tim westwood on richard's indoor grill. when it is over, richard and i walk down the beach, listening to unreleased tracks from selected ambient works volume three. the poison is in its final stage. i stop, out of breath. richard and i sit on the beach and watch the sun rise. i put my head on richard's shoulder and pass out of this world. richard, cylob and all of the escorts make aphex symbols with their hands while qrio paddles me out to sea on a funeral pyre. ricky jay throws a flaming card at the pyre and sets it ablaze. richard claps one of the japanese whores on the back and points up at the sky, laughing through his tears. a new constellation has formed, shaped like a penis.

Cancel my direct debits

quit my job and make bangin jungle tracks nonstop

'live every day like you're about to die in two weeks from poison/acidblood'

I wasn't going to post this because it seems too morbid, but in my mind the pressure to make those 2 weeks 'awesome' would be too much of a challenge for me. I might just drive to some secluded spot waterfall and get real comfortable and OD on H right then and there to get it over with.

  On 11/16/2013 at 3:52 AM, zaphod said:

first, i would...

that read like an episode of metalocalypse. only better.

This is the plot device in the book On The Beach. Everyone counts down to the last week when fallout arrives in Southern Australia.

in all honesty?

Id say goodbye to those closest to me and then kill myself as soon as possible.

no need to hang around.

  On 11/16/2013 at 5:26 AM, joshuatx said:

This is the plot device in the book On The Beach. Everyone counts down to the last week when fallout arrives in Southern Australia.

this is a fantastic book....and thats coming from someone that cant stand fiction

If I can't come up with anything, I'd choose one of these:

  On 11/16/2013 at 4:20 AM, Leon Sumbitches said:

Zaphod that was fucking beautiful.

 

Fuck yeah. I was so entranced in Zaphod's story, imagining myself there lol.. So imaginative and epic.. Like somewhere between Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Beach (w/ Leonardo DiCaprio), and Goonies.

Good fucking stuff. You just inspired me. (:

I would dip my arm in grease and slide it all the way up into William Basinski

maybe grab his heart and feel it beat

dunno

either way it'd be a very spiritual experience

  On 11/16/2013 at 3:52 AM, zaphod said:

a hunchbacked man with glasses opens the vault. i recognize him. it is cylob. he has gone blind and his skin is translucent.

holy lol

this needs to be made into a movie

Great story, Zaphod.

Mindless vandalism, Crack, Heroin, Unprotected sex with strangers in toilets, Climb on tall buildings and trees, Eat mud, Let everyone that I love know that I do, Put all my belongings in a big pile and burn them, Wear a bunch of random charity shop clothes, Give myself small electric shocks, Bang my arms on things till they bruise/bleed/break, Visit an art gallery or two, Break into lift shafts and other behind the scenes places, Eat some types of food I haven't tried and then vomit them back up, Bang my head on the wall

One word:

Krokodil

Apparently not as good as heroin Ceerial, just sometimes more accessible

laugh