Secret Pee Pockets

So I generally have greatly satisfying micturations. I open myself to the universe and Heaven's waterfall comes barreling forth in a cacophony of grandeur, leaving me restful and depleted.

Then, with no warning, I'll feel a tightness tap-tap-tapping at my urethral valve. A quiet, insistent, unignorable swollenness. When I give in to this reality, I pass no more than a tablespoon of liquid, a shameful, bitter dram of regret. Sometimes this will happen twice, especially in the shower, sometimes putting m'lady at grave risk of contamination.

So who else has Secret Pee Pockets? Is there a cause, a remedy? An early sign of Death's creaky steps? Or a simple unfortunate facet of life, unexplainable, irredeemable.

I'm definitely not saying it is this, but this was the first thought - http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cancer-of-the-prostate/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

(so get yer bum-bum checked out just in case !)

I pee sitting down a lot and sometimes, when I stand up, a little more comes out that I have to prepare for. Just a little tho.

If I just stood up and pulled my pants up, I'd probably get a little wet spot.

OP sounds like the start of a novel I've been waiting to read.

After turning 30, when I finish peeing I'm never actually finished peeing (ie. there's a teaspoon's worth of bonus drippings where previously there would have been a clean faucet shut-off). I often have to whip it back out two to three times to ensure the job's done.

I get the after dribble sometimes, usually after a few days on the sauce. I get fooled every time, no matter how many shakes, I think I'm safe, relax, and then BAM! Wet jeans.

But yeah, get your prostate checked out please.

  On 1/22/2014 at 10:37 PM, westhead said:

I get the after dribble sometimes, usually after a few days on the sauce. I get fooled every time, no matter how many shakes, I think I'm safe, relax, and then BAM! Wet jeans.

 

But yeah, get your prostate checked out please.

it might be an infection.

i get this now and then, but its doubtful that i would have prostate cancer in my twenties

you mightalso have a narrow urethra (Hank Hill Syndrome)

  On 1/22/2014 at 9:40 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

After turning 30, when I finish peeing I'm never actually finished peeing (ie. there's a teaspoon's worth of bonus drippings where previously there would have been a clean faucet shut-off). I often have to whip it back out two to three times to ensure the job's done.

you can shake

and you can dance

but the last few drops

go in your pants

disappointed this thread isn't about a secret pocket you put inside your trousers to pee in.

reading the thread title i first thought it was going to be about this:

edit: lol 2WV, didnt see your post at first

  On 1/22/2014 at 11:06 PM, 2WV said:

disappointed this thread isn't about a secret pocket you put inside your trousers to pee in.

It wasn't, but maybe..it always was...

  On 1/22/2014 at 7:21 PM, A/D said:

micturations

this word makes me crack up, ever since I heard it used that way in the Big Lebowski. can't believe such a word exists.

  On 1/22/2014 at 11:06 PM, 2WV said:

disappointed this thread isn't about a secret pocket you put inside your trousers to pee in.

me too. I was all ready to read about some exciting new development in first-world apathy that allows one to piss comfortably and sanitarily without moving an inch. I suppose such things must already exist though.

Catheter bags

It's the way of the future guys.

I got a colostomy bag years ago and never looked back. Why have the inconvenience of shitting and wiping your ass when you can just collect the poop in a bag?

Also cleanup has never been easier as I just throw the used bag off of overpasses onto busy highways and PRESTO!

Once I save up enough money I'll get a cath bag too. Ultimate convenience.

ps. no offence to anyone that actually has this horrible inconvenience...