Thieves

Word up y'all, My bike was stolen about a month ago from work and i have been getting the bus ever since. Do i have the right to punch the guy's face in to point of irreversible or should i let him live? I work at a hospital and one of my nursey girly colleages mentioned there was a vermin junkie walking around with a set of bolt cutters cutting bike locks. I will decapitate this fucking guy. I keep hassling her for a better description. This piece of shit deserves deserves to be hospitalised at the very hospital at which he steals from.

Any of you been thieved from? Plotting revenge?

Lowest of the low, my bike is one of my most prized possessions and if someone took it I'd not be happy either! That's probably not helping though.

Personally I'd probably just leave him to it, karma will sort him out eventually.

i stole a bike once years ago cause my bike got stolen at the trainstation and i needed 2 get 2 work

i also stole a cd of impaled nazarene "ugra karma" once in a hightech malcenter filled with cameras, that was incredible

also a shitload of bic's at work

that's my badass thief ninja stories, fuck you haters

You're right, calx.Time will judge junkball with a court appearance if theres any justice!

  On 5/17/2014 at 1:45 AM, Ivan Ooze said:

i stole a bike once years ago cause my bike got stolen at the trainstation and i needed 2 get 2 work

i also stole a cd of impaled nazarene "ugra karma" once in a hightech malcenter filled with cameras, that was incredible

also a shitload of bic's at work

that's my badass thief ninja stories, fuck you haters

This threads actually about victims of thieves, not you mexican :)

  On 5/17/2014 at 1:48 AM, Schlitze said:

You're right, calx.Time will judge junkball with a court appearance if theres any justice!

I had the boss of bmx's as a kid, bright green, yellow 5 spoke wheels, back pedal brakes, the works. My cool older cousin gave me it and I loved it.

I left it outside a shop one day only to find it'd been knicked by some spawn of satan. My old man called the police and I had it back by the end of the day.

Speak to the hospital security and/or police, chances are they'll know who took it - call it giving karma a helping hand

  On 5/17/2014 at 1:51 AM, Schlitze said:

 

  On 5/17/2014 at 1:45 AM, Ivan Ooze said:

i stole a bike once years ago cause my bike got stolen at the trainstation and i needed 2 get 2 work

i also stole a cd of impaled nazarene "ugra karma" once in a hightech malcenter filled with cameras, that was incredible

also a shitload of bic's at work

that's my badass thief ninja stories, fuck you haters

This threads actually about victims of thieves, not you mexican :)

 

Kill the scum

They r scum, doublemane Pr o j e ct.

i stole a lotto sign from inside a convenience store

*poses cool*

one time there was a drunk older guy walking a nice bike out of the courtyard at uni, and i followed him to the gate to see if he was thieving. i had nothing to say since the bike wasnt locked, he just didnt look like the sporty type.. i took a nap in the building and 8 hours later i saw the bike lying in the middle of the promenade, i grabbed the bike and brought it to the student room inside the school, left it there for a week, nobody claimed it, so i used it, happy to give it back if someone said it was theirs. long story short, one day someone fucking thieved the back tire with the gears on it, i was perturbed. it sat in the student storage room for 3 years and i just revisited my old school, got the bike and re-tired it; I (or someone like me) removed the rear tire off a bike that was obviously abandoned. by the way, not all fortunes are gained ethically. take the blue carbuncle for instance, sherlock holmes didnt really steal it, but he sort of did. but it had a bloody history, a dastardly crime probably for every facet of that rare stone.

i should go back and re-read some of the earlier holmes stories or read some of the later ones i never got around to, sometime (been occupied going through hammett's output tho. this has become my favorite book. fucking excellent)

anyway, there's no such thing as karma. it's probably not a good idea for you to assault some dude for revenge because chances are you would go to prison or jail and a bike isn't worth it. but the whole thing about 'forget about that person, karma will get them', that's just bogus. if 'karma' ever gets them, it's really just that someone else did what you didn't. if there was a such thing as karma, there wouldn't be babies born only to starve or with fuked up diseases etc.

if you find yourself typing the same word word twice in a moment of angry writing then it might be a good idea to call the whole thing off lol

you need to carry an extra bike seat with you that has razors imbedded deep enough in it that you don't see them, but shallow enough that if someone sits down they get sliced up. when you lock up your bike, switch seats.

So we made a pact to go oot n do a boon wap

  On 5/17/2014 at 4:08 AM, DerWaschbar said:

you need to carry an extra bike seat with you that has razors imbedded deep enough in it that you don't see them, but shallow enough that if someone sits down they get sliced up. when you lock up your bike, switch seats.

Dawg, i can't tell if you r bikeseat mafia.........or just a regular guy!!!

  On 5/17/2014 at 3:35 AM, MisterE said:

if there was a such thing as karma, there wouldn't be babies born only to starve or with fuked up diseases etc.

Reincarnated bike thieves, innit?

What?

  On 5/17/2014 at 4:39 AM, doublename said:

 

  On 5/17/2014 at 3:35 AM, MisterE said:

if there was a such thing as karma, there wouldn't be babies born only to starve or with fuked up diseases etc.

Reincarnated bike thieves, innit?

 

haha

i suppose its possible

Jeez Schlitze

Dang a dawg

Schlitze is 1 half of Vibert Simmons. And 5/10th Pan roast.

CCTV footage, check it!

i have no idea why so many people find the idea of god ridiculous and yet seem to think theres even a vague chance that karma exists.

but yes, thieves are dicks. ive only stolen two things in my life, 50ps out of my parents coin jar when i was 10 for pokemon cards, and accidently walked out a shop with a set of guitar strings in my pocket cos i was looking at other options when i was 13 or so.

also steaks from asda on the self service machines, but i dont even see that as a moral wrong because walmart are ultimate scumbags and deserve to lose a few pounds every few weeks to me.

Putting something extra in the bag is standard practice. "Unrecognised item in bagging area" goes off and the little geezer comes over, it's not my fault if he doesn't check what's in the bag. If he picks you up on it just say you thought it scanned.

Anyway, I know someone who had a pretty expensive bike stolen from his shed. Kept searching on eBay until the bugger put it for sale. Messaged him asking if he could come and look at the bike and pay cash in hand. He called the police and gave the address, I might have done something different.

asda is a joke, you can scan through 20 quids worth of shopping, bag up another 20-30 quids worth and then just amble out, even if the alarm goes off you just make a kind of ''whats wrong'' shrug at the security guy bold as brass and he walks you out with an apology. i read in the paper the other day the estimated combined losses of people scamming the self scanners in every UK supermarket is 2.1 billions a year. i wonder how much they save in reduces staff costs.