Help me respond to this dude that emailed me who thinks im someone else

so my email also happens to be andihow

i got an email today addressed to a man called "Andrew Howison" which is not me

i was thinking watmm could write a response - a few words at a time - to the emailer. Here is the contents of said email:

It has come to my attention

  On 4/14/2015 at 9:18 PM, patternoverlap said:

It has come to my attention

That Kevin sadly

  On 4/14/2015 at 9:23 PM, Herr Jan said:

 

  On 4/14/2015 at 9:18 PM, patternoverlap said:

It has come to my attention

 

That Kevin sadly

 

committed Chimpicide last night.

in a puddle of his own santorum

shit himself on the subway

  On 4/14/2015 at 9:35 PM, Rubin Farr said:

shit himself on the subway

after fondling an unhealthy

amount of birthday cake

causing him to develop

investigate 9/11. 9/11 was a false flag attack perpetrated by our own government. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams, investigate 9/11

9 sides is 3 Illuminati symbols. 3 illuminati symbols make one mega Illuminati symbol. the mega illuminati is coming to put u in da jail.

Anyway, I digress. Andrew (me) has not been

away on business in awhile so

executor to the

sexecutor. Which is me.

Your excecutive tasks include

Eating the poopoo

and absorbing the peepee. Unless of course

your flesh has lost it's absobency since last time ;)

  On 4/14/2015 at 10:39 PM, Blank said:

therefore, you must

go to the supermarket and buy

twenty-eight

tubs of table salt

but only the ones with "LUSH" written on it. Teehee, you know me!

Anyway,

with the salt you need to

five

then blaze it

EDIT: oh come on :(