Musical self-consciousness

This may sound something like a teenage angst phase, but this has been bothering me for more than half my life now.

Do you ever feel uncomfortable talking about your favorite artists or bands with strangers, or even friends and family? Like you're afraid they'll think you're some kind of freak, once they find out? This can also be about sharing your own creations with the people in your life.

As stupid as this all sounds, I have a feeling I'm not alone here. It feels particularly troublesome explaining to some folks why I'm about to board a plane in two days to go on vacation/holiday for this year's Ae N. America tour, when they're totally unfamiliar themselves.

Basically the musical equivalent of "coming out". Also, Mods: if you think this thread belongs in the Music forum, I'll leave it to you.

Honestly, I like bringing up my favorite bands in hopes that the other person also listens to them. I prefer to listen to music alone tho, if i have to play music in the car or something, I'll usually play something that's fairly accessible or something they've mentioned liking.

If music is a big part of your life, your friends and family should know about it. If they criticize it, tell them why you think it's good.

no, why would i miss the chance to display my utter superiority in taste when it comes to arts?

I use to perhaps, now I don't because my tastes are superb and they are usually wrong.

You know you've reached a healthy level of self-confidence, when you can play your favorite music and your own work to others, without any lengthy disclaimers.

If we get too caught up in worrying about how we will be judged by others, we will hold back on sharing-- and spreading vibez is the only way that anything gets done in this world. All meetings, all steps on a path, all actions, are accomplished by merely spreading vibez of oneself. Letting go of the fear is how to allow yourself to find yourself, and the only way to be truly free and strong.

And this isn't about not giving a fuck and blasting Atari Teenage Riot at your grandma's funeral-- it is just allowing yourself to be sincere and knowing that the result is always going to be okay, because you've done your part the best you could. Anything anyone else has to say about you is irrelevant to you being you.

No, I only listen to normal music.

  On 9/21/2015 at 8:13 AM, Danny O Flannagin said:

Honestly, I like bringing up my favorite bands in hopes that the other person also listens to them. I prefer to listen to music alone tho, if i have to play music in the car or something, I'll usually play something that's fairly accessible or something they've mentioned liking.

 

If music is a big part of your life, your friends and family should know about it. If they criticize it, tell them why you think it's good.

  On 9/21/2015 at 1:35 PM, peace 7 said:

You know you've reached a healthy level of self-confidence, when you can play your favorite music and your own work to others, without any lengthy disclaimers.

 

If we get too caught up in worrying about how we will be judged by others, we will hold back on sharing-- and spreading vibez is the only way that anything gets done in this world. All meetings, all steps on a path, all actions, are accomplished by merely spreading vibez of oneself. Letting go of the fear is how to allow yourself to find yourself, and the only way to be truly free and strong.

 

And this isn't about not giving a fuck and blasting Atari Teenage Riot at your grandma's funeral-- it is just allowing yourself to be sincere and knowing that the result is always going to be okay, because you've done your part the best you could. Anything anyone else has to say about you is irrelevant to you being you.

Hear, hear.

Also, if you think about it, it's kind of condescending to assume people will think you're a weirdo because of your musical tastes. Just because they've never heard of teh IDMz (or acid or power electronics or whatever) doesn't mean they won't like it. Maybe some of the people you're afraid to share with are just waiting for that moment when someone blows their mind open with a healthy specimen of what music can be.

I try to understand why people like certain music, and through that understanding I try to see the common ground between us. As a result of this, I've found music I can share with nearly everyone in my life. At work, there's a guy who hates almost all my music but we both love hip hop and share recommendations all the time. Another guy who's into goth/new-wave but he actually loves about half the stuff I throw at him and I've even been getting him into Autechre. Another guy who likes house, disco and funk. A gal who listens to poppy EDM and trap (she LOVED "Laughing Quarter"). My wife hates 99% of my music but when I put on some old dub (or some cheesy 80s pop), we're both groovin'. It's great, and it's truly more fun when the exchange goes both ways.

Don't be afraid. And don't insist on other people being more open minded. Be more open-minded yourself. And persistent.

I'm more self conscious about the obscene amount of times I've listened to Miley's Party in the USA tbh

  On 9/21/2015 at 3:52 PM, ThatSpanishGuy said:

I'm more self conscious about the obscene amount of times I've listened to Miley's Party in the USA tbh

^ Yeah this. I only stress about having to deal with people being dicks about me liking something that's mainstream or "inferior" to the tastes of some assholes who think they are pretentious. A few weeks ago I found myself defending the fact that I don't mind that my coworkers geek out over bands like Slipknot or Kid Rock, even though I find that music mostly ridiculous. If it makes them happy, good on them. But my friends (who are arguably aren't even that musically adventurous and knowledgeable) couldn't get behind that.

I have had the opposite problem for years. I used to gloat about it. I was probably like this kids who now can't shut up about Death Grips or Neutral Milk Hotel on /mu. At some point in high school I really branched into weirder and more experimental stuff and at my most annoying and lame period in college I was trying to wear as much "indie" and "underground" stuff on my sleeve. Hell, it got to the point where I would listen and play stuff like say, lo-fi punk or noise music without actually really liking the stuff that much for the same of seeming cool.

Now I'm pretty honest about what I like, don't like, and really really love.

This isn't a "superiority" thing. It's more of a "fear of being judged" thing.

The approach I tend to fall back on is to find some common ground on music when in the company of others. But I guess this ultimately doesn't change anything. If holding back makes me seem like an elitist asshole, then there's not much I can do.

I have close friends who understand, respect and sometimes share my tastes and others who do less but still do not trouble me. I'm doing okay!

generally nobody cares about music taste which is probably a good thing. it's just music so I wouldn't make such a big deal out of it

amber ppl will probably think you're weird whatever you do. I don't expect anyone to wanna hear the music I'm into, I know I like weird stuff and I don't expect them to be into it. It's fine - people have different tastes

I listen to a lot of different music so there's always something I can put on to make everyone happy.

  On 9/22/2015 at 10:33 AM, hoggy said:

amber ppl will probably think you're weird whatever you do.

lol harsh. Me too tho

  On 9/21/2015 at 3:40 PM, sweepstakes said:

Just because they've never heard of teh IDMz (or acid or power electronics or whatever) doesn't mean they won't like it.

Why did this kind of music not develop into full fledged mainstream in the 90ies? Warp was big.

Why did the scene development/migration out of the other electronic scenes stop and people went down the other side of the road to much simpler music like EDM?

  On 9/22/2015 at 4:41 PM, Psychotronic said:

 

  On 9/21/2015 at 3:40 PM, sweepstakes said:

Just because they've never heard of teh IDMz (or acid or power electronics or whatever) doesn't mean they won't like it.

Why did this kind of music not develop into full fledged mainstream in the 90ies? Warp was big.

 

Why did the scene development/migration out of the other electronic scenes stop and people went down the other side of the road to much simpler music like EDM?

 

Seriously?

It looks that way from my pov. Give me another perspective.

  On 9/22/2015 at 3:20 PM, sweepstakes said:

 

  On 9/22/2015 at 10:33 AM, hoggy said:

amber ppl will probably think you're weird whatever you do.

lol harsh. Me too tho

 

Oh i already know i'm weird. But it's not that hard to pretend not to be weird in a public environment either.

  On 9/22/2015 at 5:43 PM, Psychotronic said:

It looks that way from my pov. Give me another perspective.

You answered your own question. The large majority of people don't care about how "complex" the music they listen to is, so "the IDMz" having more chopped up amen breaks per second does not make it any more enjoyable.

I've never understood why people feel self-conscious about their tastes. That's a really dumb thing to be concerned about. If you feel bad about your own preferences, then you have some serious problems. You're probably valuing other people's opinions too much. It's important to remember that others' opinions don't mean anything at all unless you allow them to. If you don't keep that in mind, then you will have a much harder time being happy.

Im in a bit of a limbo when it comes to this, I love sharing music and discovering new music, but I don't really talk to people about music - I think in a way because of the reason you described but mostly because I usually don't know any of the artists/bands they talk about. I guess the solution to that would be to listen to more popular stuff, (I dont really mind EDM/pop really) but that takes effort and Im lazy.

I def understand the way you feel tho, its a dumb feeling as people here have said. Try sharing music for music, that's quite fun.. can always find some cool stuff that way too.

Good thread. I guess it depends on who you are talking too, some folks are more open minded and accepting but maybe more into reading or painting. With these people I'd explain a bit more about what music I like as I know they'd be more cool.

I can vibe with most people about music 'cause I like old punk/metal/indie music. But even with some of them stuff like Autechre and Aphex is a bit of a twilight zone dimension. One of my mates at work was interested in what I listen to nowadays and he went off to Youtube to listen to Autechre. He couldn't get his head round it at all. But I couldn't give a monkey's nowadays.

  On 9/22/2015 at 3:20 PM, sweepstakes said:

 

  On 9/22/2015 at 10:33 AM, hoggy said:

amber ppl will probably think you're weird whatever you do.

lol harsh. Me too tho

Not meaning to be harsh, I speak from personal experience!

amber why do you wanna share your music with people who would react that way anyway? If they ask to hear it, sure, but otherwise just talk about other stuff. Not everyone is on the same wavelength

  On 9/22/2015 at 11:55 PM, hoggy said:

 

  On 9/22/2015 at 3:20 PM, sweepstakes said:

 

  On 9/22/2015 at 10:33 AM, hoggy said:

amber ppl will probably think you're weird whatever you do.

lol harsh. Me too tho

Not meaning to be harsh, I speak from personal experience!

 

amber why do you wanna share your music with people who would react that way anyway? If they ask to hear it, sure, but otherwise just talk about other stuff. Not everyone is on the same wavelength

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