Help me get rid of my loud neighbors

ok so I'm living with 2 other guys in a 3 room apartment.

Above us:

a family of slacking dumbasses who are at home most of the time, they have at least one small dog who can be annoying but has nothing on the 2 or more kids who are yelling and stomping around all day, each day. Most of the time the mom and dad are not heard, but when they are, it's the worst: An all out yelling battle with no winners.

We are dealing with a family here where yelling at each other seems to be their preferred form of communication. They are too dumb and/or lazy to send their kids outside so they tire themselves playing...

Of course I've been up there multiple times to let them know etc., it was always the mom who answered the door, nodding, "will you be more quiet please?" - "OK" (nods)..... - "Ok then...." - "OK"(nods)........ she says "OK", but her eyes say "Bro I don't give a fuck about anything", I really want to punch her in the face.

this has been like that for months.

What can I do? Be creative.

Nerve gas.

jeez I'm no monster! Killing them is not really an option. Even if it was for their best probably tbh though srsly.

Was thinking more something along the lines of a sort of "dog whistle for humans" concept but can't really think of anything....?

Record them and then play the recording loudly on repeat in your appartment when you're going out.

E.g. one thing could be to attach speakers or transducers to the ceiling and massage them with unpleasant frequencies until they STFU, rinse repeat, hoping some kind of reinforcement conditioning effect will kick in.

BUT, will this work? A highly flawed concept because it will affect other parties in the house as well....

  On 11/21/2015 at 11:09 AM, triachus said:

Record them and then play the recording loudly on repeat in your appartment when you're going out.

Lol I like this

yeah, that ^ I would totally do that.

Creep into their house and fart on their pillows

Call the police. It's a hard thing to do at first, but you have to get over that. I don't know about Berlin, but here in Antwerp we have a specific 'environmental police unit' that handles all things noise impediment. Perhaps things might change if they talk to them.

We went through something like this, but it was because of a cafe next door. 100 year old walls don't do much to stop loud music. We nearly went insane, because we put up with it and didn't dare call the police. Don't wait till depression and ultimately self-preservation kicks in.

Ofcourse the situation is very different and a noisy family isn't a cafe. A cafe can be shut down after a number of warnings. Families not so much... Some people are inherently loud and won't change that, because they can't. Perhaps moving to another place may be a better and quicker option.

don't shave for a couple of months and buy some muslim garb. next tell them you've just returned from syria.

  On 11/21/2015 at 11:09 AM, triachus said:

Record them and then play the recording loudly on repeat in your appartment when you're going out.

and before i forget: each friday put on these islam chants on your set. real loud!

Also, pray for them.

I like Tri's idea. Or maybe even take it a step further and make a track out of it, including randomly changing sample pitches and throwing in jungle beats.

When a buddy and I rented this nice lil' 2 bedroom loft we had neighbors below us that were 18-19 year old spoiled Middle Eastern girls. They never worked, had parties at their place every other night, and generally were very unpleasant (including one drunkenly accusing me of 'my dick being too special' when I declined to come over with booze one night they accosted me) After a weekend of binge drug use and not much sleep, we needed to sleep. On a Monday night at 2 or 3am, these motherfuckers were screaming along to a karaoke of Ludacris' "move bitch, get out the way" along with what had to be 15 other 18-19 year old kids.

So I grabbed our bag of leftover fireworks from last year. With the help of my roommate, we lit and tossed a strip of black-cats tied to a ball-chain-style linking of mortors and threw it from our deck onto theirs and partially into their doorway. It goes off and stops that shit dead in its tracks with a pretty colorful display. Screaming, crying and people yelling up at us. Had a few dudes pounding on our door.

This is when the police showed up. Since it was 3am and there were no witnesses to the bombing, we pretended to be asleep. When the police officer came to our door, we acted the part and said we had no fucking clue what was going on and that they were partying and then all the sudden a bunch of fireworks went off.

Turns out when the cops showed up there they had a big pile of blow, many underage drinkers, and a few dudes over 21 of ill repute/one had arrest warrants looking to cash in on underaged drunk skanks. The two girls who rented the place were put in the back of the patrol cars along with a few of the dudes as all of it falls under supplying minors with alcohol and drugs. Their dads showed up within 15 minutes and were just in a blind fury at them. Nobody ever found out it was us that hucked the fireworks because we seem like normal guys and this party was obviously out of hand and way too large for a 2bd loft. We acted like the accusations that we threw the fireworks were ridiculous and none of the neighbors could corroborate the story of these people who were obviously fucked up and trying to stay out of trouble.

ANYWAYS - they moved out soon thereafter. So go put some blow in their house, light off a bunch of fireworks in their yard and call the cops. All will sort itself out and you'll be able to live in peace. Looking back on it, the whole thing was super dangerous and we could've really hurt someone, but we asked them more than once to not do that shit and they knew we didn't fuck around. Oh well :)

So you got people in serious legal trouble cause they were noisy and annoying. You're a real winner. Congrats.

  On 11/21/2015 at 6:35 PM, AdieuErsatzEnnui said:

So you got people in serious legal trouble cause they were noisy and annoying. You're a real winner. Congrats.

I must have missed the part where Audio snuck some blow into the girls' house and forced a bunch of underage kids to get drunk

  On 11/21/2015 at 6:35 PM, AdieuErsatzEnnui said:

So you got people in serious legal trouble cause they were noisy and annoying. You're a real winner. Congrats.

You have clearly never had inconsiderate noisy arsehole neighbours. We did for about a year and towards the end I was regularly fantasising about murdering them. It makes you insane. In the end we just called the council, police and housing association every time they played their fucking shit house music at 3 am and they got section 21'd

  On 11/21/2015 at 6:35 PM, AdieuErsatzEnnui said:

So you got people in serious legal trouble cause they were noisy and annoying. You're a real winner. Congrats.

They got themselves in serious legal trouble by having a huge pile of blow, illegal underage drinkers in the house, arrest warrants, etc.

Congrats

if the potential to be under such legal trouble is screamingly blatant, people should attempt to not be noisy and annoying. especially in close proximity to others.

just play ventolin really loud.

get yourself a white sheet and cut holes out for the eyes, then hide in their attic and make groaning noises until they're completely spooked out.

Sorry I don't think you're going to have any luck but you could try rallying other people who surely can hear them, or talk to management about them.

Throw on on of v snares noisier albums on full blast right in the middle of the night

  On 11/21/2015 at 6:29 PM, Audioblysk said:

When a buddy and I rented this nice lil' 2 bedroom loft we had neighbors below us that were 18-19 year old spoiled Middle Eastern girls. They never worked, had parties at their place every other night, and generally were very unpleasant (including one drunkenly accusing me of 'my dick being too special' when I declined to come over with booze one night they accosted me) After a weekend of binge drug use and not much sleep, we needed to sleep. On a Monday night at 2 or 3am, these motherfuckers were screaming along to a karaoke of Ludacris' "move bitch, get out the way" along with what had to be 15 other 18-19 year old kids.

 

So I grabbed our bag of leftover fireworks from last year. With the help of my roommate, we lit and tossed a strip of black-cats tied to a ball-chain-style linking of mortors and threw it from our deck onto theirs and partially into their doorway. It goes off and stops that shit dead in its tracks with a pretty colorful display. Screaming, crying and people yelling up at us. Had a few dudes pounding on our door.

 

This is when the police showed up. Since it was 3am and there were no witnesses to the bombing, we pretended to be asleep. When the police officer came to our door, we acted the part and said we had no fucking clue what was going on and that they were partying and then all the sudden a bunch of fireworks went off.

 

Turns out when the cops showed up there they had a big pile of blow, many underage drinkers, and a few dudes over 21 of ill repute/one had arrest warrants looking to cash in on underaged drunk skanks. The two girls who rented the place were put in the back of the patrol cars along with a few of the dudes as all of it falls under supplying minors with alcohol and drugs. Their dads showed up within 15 minutes and were just in a blind fury at them. Nobody ever found out it was us that hucked the fireworks because we seem like normal guys and this party was obviously out of hand and way too large for a 2bd loft. We acted like the accusations that we threw the fireworks were ridiculous and none of the neighbors could corroborate the story of these people who were obviously fucked up and trying to stay out of trouble.

 

ANYWAYS - they moved out soon thereafter. So go put some blow in their house, light off a bunch of fireworks in their yard and call the cops. All will sort itself out and you'll be able to live in peace. Looking back on it, the whole thing was super dangerous and we could've really hurt someone, but we asked them more than once to not do that shit and they knew we didn't fuck around. Oh well :)

great story

  On 11/21/2015 at 6:35 PM, AdieuErsatzEnnui said:

So you got people in serious legal trouble cause they were noisy and annoying. You're a real winner. Congrats.

Were you one of those dudes with the face tattoos? They were a lovely bunch.

Edit- forgot to add, the police had already been called before I set off the fireworks. Either that or they were like 2 minutes away in a sleepy suburb town. Either way, fuckem, I have no sympathy as we told them well over 20 times to not do that and had called the manager of the complex, the cops, and them personally multiple times. It's not like we didn't have our fare share of illegal deeds in that loft, we just didn't outwardly project our idiocy and piss off everyone around us. So yeah, meh.

Gees guys no need to be hostile to each other! Chillax.