My Body

This is a track I've been working on. Feel kinda finished with it, but would like some feedback before I abandon it. So what do you think?

Are there enough sounds, melodies and rhythms to make the track interesting for its duration?

Should I add maybe a cymbal crash or something between bars or parts?

 

 

 

 

https://soundcloud.com/zoixx/my-body

  On 7/3/2017 at 1:19 PM, hoggy said:

I think it's perfectly fine - like, it sounds finished... but I wouldn't describe it as interesting, it's more like chill background music

 

One thing I can imagine to make it more interesting is a bit more variation on the beats, some simple fills and stuff - maybe a bit less rigid adherence to the beats on the high pitch melody.

 

It seems like at around 2:00, you're going for a dubby feel, so I would try making the reverb swell louder and then sweep into the swooshy sound...

 

anyway, like I said, it's done as it is, but if you want to take it in a more 'interesting' direction, that's what I'd do I think

 

 

Okay thanks man!

I can't put my finger on it but I really, really like this track. Just has a great vibe. I've listened to it a few times now and could easily listen to it on loop for an hour or so. 

  On 7/4/2017 at 12:29 AM, Alan Ord said:

I can't put my finger on it but I really, really like this track. Just has a great vibe. I've listened to it a few times now and could easily listen to it on loop for an hour or so.

Wow that is high praise! I think I nailed a very relaxed mood, and you have to bring your energy level down to match the tracks which is calming.

 

Appreciate the feedback man! Makes me want to make more music. And I fucking shall.

 

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Love the production and vibe. I could listen to an entire album like this. 

 

I felt like it lost some movement near the end. Maybe if the shaker that comes in around 1:30 didn't drop off, or instead you added more subtle rhythmic elements to keep it ..again..moving

 

Still great as is

  On 7/5/2017 at 8:48 PM, mrfauxe said:

Love the production and vibe. I could listen to an entire album like this.

 

I felt like it lost some movement near the end. Maybe if the shaker that comes in around 1:30 didn't drop off, or instead you added more subtle rhythmic elements to keep it ..again..moving

 

Still great as is

Thanks mate! That's a good point, might look at the percussion to give it some more motion.

Hoggy made some good points about the percussion; could use some more fills/breaks n variation at the end of a few bars, a triple-time breakdown here, a one-off percussive slap there. I should note that I really like the sound of the snare you've chosen: that woodblockish 'TOK' sound; I'm definitely a sucker for that.

To my ear there's some clashy pitches, or just an awkward interval, between the plinky melody and the vocoded sample which occur in the beatless section between 2:20 and 2:45. I would modulate the vocoded sample down a little there, but maybe you're going for a bit of a jarring effect (?)

 

Overall you are aiming for a vibe and succeeding to a certain extent but it still sounds like a 'demo' to me; the arrangement is there, it just needs more filigree, polish, and unexpected yet tasteful surprises to pepper things up. You're probably familiar with Mr. Roque from this board (Squee). He knows how to make dub music that can appear superficially simple but is actually complex with loads of one-off sound design moments and subtle variations on themes. Take notes from his productions!

https://soundcloud.com/mrroque

 

Keep up the good work!

 

 

  On 7/5/2017 at 11:52 PM, Goiter Sanchez said:

Hoggy made some good points about the percussion; could use some more fills/breaks n variation at the end of a few bars, a triple-time breakdown here, a one-off percussive slap there. I should note that I really like the sound of the snare you've chosen: that woodblockish 'TOK' sound; I'm definitely a sucker for that.

To my ear there's some clashy pitches, or just an awkward interval, between the plinky melody and the vocoded sample which occur in the beatless section between 2:20 and 2:45. I would modulate the vocoded sample down a little there, but maybe you're going for a bit of a jarring effect (?)

 

Overall you are aiming for a vibe and succeeding to a certain extent but it still sounds like a 'demo' to me; the arrangement is there, it just needs more filigree, polish, and unexpected yet tasteful surprises to pepper things up. You're probably familiar with Mr. Roque from this board (Squee). He knows how to make dub music that can appear superficially simple but is actually complex with loads of one-off sound design moments and subtle variations on themes. Take notes from his productions!

 

https://soundcloud.com/mrroque

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Thanks! I thought too much variation in the beat might make the track too busy and ruin the mood I was going for.

 

I will study the masters and try to improve the track

Pretty cool!

You've gotten pretty good over the last couple of months :)

But yeah, the beat needs to be worked on. If you want my advice then throw the congas out the window and focus on the kick and snare and hihat.

 

It's kinda weird that the 1/16th hihat is introduced in the middle of the track but is nowhere to be found near the end where the track should be peaking. This track has a lot of potential but you kinda need to work on the part after the piano break at 2:23, because it gets a TIIIINY bit boring after that.

You should also consider changing up the sound of the piano sounding synth at 0:36 and 2:19. It's in that grey zone where it kinda sounds like a piano but doesn't which makes it sound a bit "cheap" simply because the sound of it is too clean.

  On 7/6/2017 at 8:07 PM, Squee said:

Pretty cool!

You've gotten pretty good over the last couple of months :)

But yeah, the beat needs to be worked on. If you want my advice then throw the congas out the window and focus on the kick and snare and hihat.

 

It's kinda weird that the 1/16th hihat is introduced in the middle of the track but is nowhere to be found near the end where the track should be peaking. This track has a lot of potential but you kinda need to work on the part after the piano break at 2:23, because it gets a TIIIINY bit boring after that.

You should also consider changing up the sound of the piano sounding synth at 0:36 and 2:19. It's in that grey zone where it kinda sounds like a piano but doesn't which makes it sound a bit "cheap" simply because the sound of it is too clean.

 

Thanks! I've definitely benefited from the advice on this forum so Im very grateful for the feedback I get.

 

I will look at the beat and the track as a whole, work with some details to make it more interesting. Im vary of making it too busy but a few ghost notes and something between bar changes is a start.

Edited July 6, 2017 by zoix

I think what would improve this track a lot aside from the variations on the drums that others suggested is to make the overall drum sound (or drum buss) a bit dirtier (add some distortion/bit reduction/whatever) to make it sit a bit better with the rest of the track. The highs sounds fine to me but the low/mid-low could use a bit more saturation or dirt to glue everything together.

 

 

  On 7/6/2017 at 11:57 PM, user said:

I think what would improve this track a lot aside from the variations on the drums that others suggested is to make the overall drum sound (or drum buss) a bit dirtier (add some distortion/bit reduction/whatever) to make it sit a bit better with the rest of the track. The highs sounds fine to me but the low/mid-low could use a bit more saturation or dirt to glue everything together.

 

Ok, will take that into consideration!

I really like the composition, vibe and musical side of the track btw, didn't mean to come off as a harsh comment. On a second listen; the sort of rhodesy sound is great as is the piano you've got there, the bass is sweet as well and I really like the flangy sweeps. I guess it's mostly the bongo/conga (?) that could use some dirtying up. The vocoded voice is a good touch but sits in the mix a little awkward, the first thing that springs to my mind is adding a little chorus but I could be completely off.

 

Also digging "escaping with contraband" on your sc btw, great vibes.

 

 

  On 7/12/2017 at 2:34 AM, user said:

I really like the composition, vibe and musical side of the track btw, didn't mean to come off as a harsh comment. On a second listen; the sort of rhodesy sound is great as is the piano you've got there, the bass is sweet as well and I really like the flangy sweeps. I guess it's mostly the bongo/conga (?) that could use some dirtying up. The vocoded voice is a good touch but sits in the mix a little awkward, the first thing that springs to my mind is adding a little chorus but I could be completely off.

 

Also digging "escaping with contraband" on your sc btw, great vibes.

 

Thanks mate! No worries, its very helpful to get a lot of feedback.

 

I agree that the vocoded voice needs some tweaking. Im in the swedish archipelago now frolicking and getting my willie stung on nettles but will look at the track when I get home with the threads' feedback in mind.

 

 

 

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  On 7/3/2017 at 12:41 PM, zoix said:

This is a track I've been working on. Feel kinda finished with it, but would like some feedback before I abandon it. So what do you think?

Are there enough sounds, melodies and rhythms to make the track interesting for its duration?

Should I add maybe a cymbal crash or something between bars or parts?

 

 

 

 

https://soundcloud.com/zoixx/my-body

Great chill out vibe! I like the way he vocoder is in a totally different key, has a good jarring quality to it. I don't know why it sounds so medical to me, but I like it, makes it sound a bit eery. Great grainy percussive sounds, the whole track has a nice grainy sound to it with the vinyl noise, great stuff!

I agree with the others that it's a nice chill track. I kept thinking though that I'd definitely add 4x4 bass drum after that breakdown, but that would maybe make it too harsh. In any case you earned a follow, and I hope I'll get some of these vibes onto my stream too. :)

  On 9/13/2017 at 8:36 AM, LemonMelon said:

 

  On 7/3/2017 at 12:41 PM, zoix said:

This is a track I've been working on. Feel kinda finished with it, but would like some feedback before I abandon it. So what do you think?

Are there enough sounds, melodies and rhythms to make the track interesting for its duration?

Should I add maybe a cymbal crash or something between bars or parts?

 

 

 

 

https://soundcloud.com/zoixx/my-body

Great chill out vibe! I like the way he vocoder is in a totally different key, has a good jarring quality to it. I don't know why it sounds so medical to me, but I like it, makes it sound a bit eery. Great grainy percussive sounds, the whole track has a nice grainy sound to it with the vinyl noise, great stuff!

Much obliged sir! The vibe you get is something I want to cultivate, sort of man and machine and a bit sexy...

 

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I like your body.

  On 9/13/2017 at 9:34 AM, thawkins said:

I agree with the others that it's a nice chill track. I kept thinking though that I'd definitely add 4x4 bass drum after that breakdown, but that would maybe make it too harsh. In any case you earned a follow, and I hope I'll get some of these vibes onto my stream too. :)

Thanks! Definitely more tracks coming up when time allows it. From the feedback im getting the beat is something I will look into.

 

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Edited September 13, 2017 by zoix

uhhh nice.

 

really dig the electric piano intro. and that vocoder(?) sound poppin in sometimes is fucking great.

 

the bass and kick are working very nice together

 

i also like how you develop the track, it's not getting lame and the length is also appealing to me 

 

keep up the great work man !

 

cheers 

  On 9/20/2017 at 4:53 PM, Qatarsis said:

uhhh nice.

 

really dig the electric piano intro. and that vocoder(?) sound poppin in sometimes is fucking great.

 

the bass and kick are working very nice together

 

i also like how you develop the track, it's not getting lame and the length is also appealing to me 

 

keep up the great work man !

 

cheers 

 

Thanks buddy!

Hai fellas here a new version of the track. Added some cardiac arrest guitar and removed the percussion, working more with kick, snare, hats. Squee commented about the piano but I'm not not sure how to make it less clean, any ideas? Distortion? I don't know if that fits the vibe though.

 

 

 

https://soundcloud.com/zoixx/my-body-ver-2

I like the chords but the track was just a little too laid back for my tastes. I think the piano melody over the top was a bit too down beat. That guitar is pretty cool though. Me personally was itching to hear a bit more funk in this track. I wouldn't mind doing a remix with the chords if you're down with that though and give it my own dubstep spin. :D

  On 10/3/2017 at 7:58 PM, TheBro said:

I like the chords but the track was just a little too laid back for my tastes. I think the piano melody over the top was a bit too down beat. That guitar is pretty cool though. Me personally was itching to hear a bit more funk in this track. I wouldn't mind doing a remix with the chords if you're down with that though and give it my own dubstep spin. :D

 

Sure mate I PM'd you with a download link :)

Without directly comparing it sounds like you've added more variety to the beat programming, love the delay on some of the snares. The swooshy white noise sounds are nice. Still finding the vocoder a tad jarring (the pitch/interval) in the bassless area just before the final section.

Not a fan of the guitar initially, the melody is fine but I would get that off the grid of the rest of the track and make it sound a little more free floating like a hand-played solo, add more unexpected accidentals to give the section a peak of energetic climax.