pitchfork's review of the new chromeo album

  Quote

Karl Marx said that history repeats “the first time as tragedy, the second as farce.” Like a slap bass or Zapp drum, it’s an irresistible cliché, but useful. Chromeo first got me thinking about Marx because they got me thinking about Daft Punk. Like the louche robots, Dave 1 and P-Thugg began in Francophonic bedrooms with a strong personal style and a predilection for funk licks, which they took to increasingly vast crowds as white, heterosexual guys rediscovered the joys of dancing their girlfriends and gay friends and POC acquaintances never forgot. Cue a crisis of credibility perhaps inevitable after sticking around for fifteen years and voila: Chromeo’s Head Over Heels, a bona fide all-stars album, Random Access Memories-style, that attempts to show off their own bona fides.

 

Head Over Heels aims lower than its counterpart from a few years ago, and in all fairness, does achieve a funky kind of farce. Chromeo rounded up some studio legends—Jesse Johnson, who co-wrote classics like “The Bird” and “Jungle Love” as an original member of the Time; Raphael Saadiq, who seemingly produced every hit of the ’90s; and Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, who did the same in the ’00s, or at least those not produced by The-Dream, who also sings on this album—and enlisted their solid musicianship in the service of some really dumb ideas.

 

Which is all to say, Head Over Heels sounds expert, expensive, accomplished, while being distasteful in almost everything else. First single “Juice” pours out a sugary, intoxicating groove reminiscent of ’80s boogie masters Mtume, whose Tawatha Agee provides backing vocals, then sours it with some gross ideas about power dynamics: “Relationships ain’t a democracy,” oh, Jesus, gross. “Must’ve Been” is a sort of “Fuck You” after the weed kicks in; it’s hard to get excited about a talk box these days, but Johnson’s guitar is so ticklish, and DRAM’s harmonies so pretty, you might as well giggle, if you can, at the lyric’s macho theatrics. To be fair, it’s the cost of doing business if you’re a fan of the band that brought you “Needy Girl” and “Sexy Socialite.”

 

If the album is typically weird about women, it’s worse about money. “Slumming It” starts out with, “She got lipstick on my blue collar,” and it’s downhill from there. Imagine “Common People” without the class consciousness, or “Uptown Girl” with a protagonist even less believably marginalized than Billy Joel and a (pretty good) saxophone solo instead of the faux-Frankie Valli lilt. And “Bad Decision” is a very Ivanka Trump kind of love song, in which a guy gives his future over to the credit industrial complex to show his devotion. “Let’s book a shopping trip, maybe I could charter a jet/And I don’t give a shit if I never get out of debt,” he croons. “Take out all my money from the bank/Take you around the corner, buy a ring…You make me want to make a bad decision.” Falling for this acquisition-as-affection is a bad decision too.

 

On the upside, “Just Friends” could tear the roof off a particular kind of penthouse party in DTLA or Williamsburg, mostly due to the super-charismatic Amber Mark and a groove that stays out of her way. But you might as well listen to Maroon 5 if you enjoy the slickness, and there are dozens of better bounces to be had from Atlantic Starr to Daft Punk themselves, nevermind Nite Jewel and Thundercat and Ariana Grande and the list goes on. Head Over Heelsmight replace the duo’s trademark mannequin legs on the cover for their own, but these days such co-opting of realness is real meh. It’s genderfluid like a tech bro in a stunt romper drinking a Monster. The farce is strong with these ones.

this is without a doubt the most retarded thing i have ever read. i can't even begin to unpack how fucking idiotic this person is. it hurts my brain imagining where to even start.

Nauseating

Dafuq is wrong with dese ppl?

execrable but seems pretty averagely p-fork to me, though.

Chromeo are one of those nothing bands that I have literally no impression of other than being in that rotating roster of internet-discussion bands. I know if I listen to two seconds of it I'll be bored to tears.

If I had kids and they grew up and wrote something like this, I would be more disappointed in them than if they did E.T. porn.

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:51 AM, usagi said:

execrable but seems pretty averagely p-fork to me, though.

 

Chromeo are one of those nothing bands that I have literally no impression of other than being in that rotating roster of internet-discussion bands. I know if I listen to two seconds of it I'll be bored to tears.

wtf chromeo are great

if i ever encounter this person only one of us is walking away.

  Quote

 

 

And “Bad Decision” is a very Ivanka Trump kind of love song

the fuck does this mean

  Quote

 

 

It’s genderfluid like a tech bro in a stunt romper drinking a Monster.

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:51 AM, usagi said:

Chromeo are one of those nothing bands that I have literally no impression of other than being in that rotating roster of internet-discussion bands. I know if I listen to two seconds of it I'll be bored to tears.

lol

They're ok, but to me they've always been the kind of band that my non-musical friends recommend to me "because you like that 80s stuff"

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:58 AM, dr lopez said:

 

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:51 AM, usagi said:

execrable but seems pretty averagely p-fork to me, though.

 

Chromeo are one of those nothing bands that I have literally no impression of other than being in that rotating roster of internet-discussion bands. I know if I listen to two seconds of it I'll be bored to tears.

 

wtf chromeo are great

 

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:51 AM, usagi said:

execrable but seems pretty averagely p-fork to me, though.

yea this is boilerplate poochfuck. All their reviews read like this.

What makes me want to punch somebody in the face is the fact these people get paid to write this shit.

See also: this fucking abortion in mixmag

music journalism is kekkles.

  Quote

you’re not going to set your local sweat-pit alight by dropping a 25-minute Autechre cosmic drone

my sweaty pits aside, everyone gets down to ae

  On 6/20/2018 at 4:12 AM, modey said:

 

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:51 AM, usagi said:

Chromeo are one of those nothing bands that I have literally no impression of other than being in that rotating roster of internet-discussion bands. I know if I listen to two seconds of it I'll be bored to tears.

lol

 

They're ok, but to me they've always been the kind of band that my non-musical friends recommend to me "because you like that 80s stuff"

 

this

chromeo, lol 

  On 6/20/2018 at 12:11 PM, usagi said:

journalism is kekkles.

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:58 AM, dr lopez said:

 

wtf chromeo are great

 

fo real?

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:08 AM, dr lopez said:

 

  Quote

Karl Marx said that history repeats “the first time as tragedy, the second as farce.” Like a slap bass or Zapp drum, it’s an irresistible cliché, but useful. Chromeo first got me thinking about Marx because they got me thinking about Daft Punk. Like the louche robots, Dave 1 and P-Thugg began in Francophonic bedrooms with a strong personal style and a predilection for funk licks, which they took to increasingly vast crowds as white, heterosexual guys rediscovered the joys of dancing their girlfriends and gay friends and POC acquaintances never forgot. Cue a crisis of credibility perhaps inevitable after sticking around for fifteen years and voila: Chromeo’s Head Over Heels, a bona fide all-stars album, Random Access Memories-style, that attempts to show off their own bona fides.

 

Head Over Heels aims lower than its counterpart from a few years ago, and in all fairness, does achieve a funky kind of farce. Chromeo rounded up some studio legends—Jesse Johnson, who co-wrote classics like “The Bird” and “Jungle Love” as an original member of the Time; Raphael Saadiq, who seemingly produced every hit of the ’90s; and Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, who did the same in the ’00s, or at least those not produced by The-Dream, who also sings on this album—and enlisted their solid musicianship in the service of some really dumb ideas.

 

Which is all to say, Head Over Heels sounds expert, expensive, accomplished, while being distasteful in almost everything else. First single “Juice” pours out a sugary, intoxicating groove reminiscent of ’80s boogie masters Mtume, whose Tawatha Agee provides backing vocals, then sours it with some gross ideas about power dynamics: “Relationships ain’t a democracy,” oh, Jesus, gross. “Must’ve Been” is a sort of “Fuck You” after the weed kicks in; it’s hard to get excited about a talk box these days, but Johnson’s guitar is so ticklish, and DRAM’s harmonies so pretty, you might as well giggle, if you can, at the lyric’s macho theatrics. To be fair, it’s the cost of doing business if you’re a fan of the band that brought you “Needy Girl” and “Sexy Socialite.”

 

If the album is typically weird about women, it’s worse about money. “Slumming It” starts out with, “She got lipstick on my blue collar,” and it’s downhill from there. Imagine “Common People” without the class consciousness, or “Uptown Girl” with a protagonist even less believably marginalized than Billy Joel and a (pretty good) saxophone solo instead of the faux-Frankie Valli lilt. And “Bad Decision” is a very Ivanka Trump kind of love song, in which a guy gives his future over to the credit industrial complex to show his devotion. “Let’s book a shopping trip, maybe I could charter a jet/And I don’t give a shit if I never get out of debt,” he croons. “Take out all my money from the bank/Take you around the corner, buy a ring…You make me want to make a bad decision.” Falling for this acquisition-as-affection is a bad decision too.

 

On the upside, “Just Friends” could tear the roof off a particular kind of penthouse party in DTLA or Williamsburg, mostly due to the super-charismatic Amber Mark and a groove that stays out of her way. But you might as well listen to Maroon 5 if you enjoy the slickness, and there are dozens of better bounces to be had from Atlantic Starr to Daft Punk themselves, nevermind Nite Jewel and Thundercat and Ariana Grande and the list goes on. Head Over Heelsmight replace the duo’s trademark mannequin legs on the cover for their own, but these days such co-opting of realness is real meh. It’s genderfluid like a tech bro in a stunt romper drinking a Monster. The farce is strong with these ones.

 

this is without a doubt the most retarded thing i have ever read. i can't even begin to unpack how fucking idiotic this person is. it hurts my brain imagining where to even start.

 

new writer it appears

it's late 90s ryan schreiber bad, which makes the daft punk mentions fitting

  On 6/21/2018 at 4:56 PM, species8472 said:

 

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:58 AM, dr lopez said:

 

wtf chromeo are great

 

 

fo real?

 

uh yeah. i had no idea people don't get them or think it's bad. esp on here

  On 6/21/2018 at 4:58 PM, joshuatx said:

 

  On 6/20/2018 at 3:08 AM, dr lopez said:

 

  Quote

Karl Marx said that history repeats “the first time as tragedy, the second as farce.” Like a slap bass or Zapp drum, it’s an irresistible cliché, but useful. Chromeo first got me thinking about Marx because they got me thinking about Daft Punk. Like the louche robots, Dave 1 and P-Thugg began in Francophonic bedrooms with a strong personal style and a predilection for funk licks, which they took to increasingly vast crowds as white, heterosexual guys rediscovered the joys of dancing their girlfriends and gay friends and POC acquaintances never forgot. Cue a crisis of credibility perhaps inevitable after sticking around for fifteen years and voila: Chromeo’s Head Over Heels, a bona fide all-stars album, Random Access Memories-style, that attempts to show off their own bona fides.

 

Head Over Heels aims lower than its counterpart from a few years ago, and in all fairness, does achieve a funky kind of farce. Chromeo rounded up some studio legends—Jesse Johnson, who co-wrote classics like “The Bird” and “Jungle Love” as an original member of the Time; Raphael Saadiq, who seemingly produced every hit of the ’90s; and Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, who did the same in the ’00s, or at least those not produced by The-Dream, who also sings on this album—and enlisted their solid musicianship in the service of some really dumb ideas.

 

Which is all to say, Head Over Heels sounds expert, expensive, accomplished, while being distasteful in almost everything else. First single “Juice” pours out a sugary, intoxicating groove reminiscent of ’80s boogie masters Mtume, whose Tawatha Agee provides backing vocals, then sours it with some gross ideas about power dynamics: “Relationships ain’t a democracy,” oh, Jesus, gross. “Must’ve Been” is a sort of “Fuck You” after the weed kicks in; it’s hard to get excited about a talk box these days, but Johnson’s guitar is so ticklish, and DRAM’s harmonies so pretty, you might as well giggle, if you can, at the lyric’s macho theatrics. To be fair, it’s the cost of doing business if you’re a fan of the band that brought you “Needy Girl” and “Sexy Socialite.”

 

If the album is typically weird about women, it’s worse about money. “Slumming It” starts out with, “She got lipstick on my blue collar,” and it’s downhill from there. Imagine “Common People” without the class consciousness, or “Uptown Girl” with a protagonist even less believably marginalized than Billy Joel and a (pretty good) saxophone solo instead of the faux-Frankie Valli lilt. And “Bad Decision” is a very Ivanka Trump kind of love song, in which a guy gives his future over to the credit industrial complex to show his devotion. “Let’s book a shopping trip, maybe I could charter a jet/And I don’t give a shit if I never get out of debt,” he croons. “Take out all my money from the bank/Take you around the corner, buy a ring…You make me want to make a bad decision.” Falling for this acquisition-as-affection is a bad decision too.

 

On the upside, “Just Friends” could tear the roof off a particular kind of penthouse party in DTLA or Williamsburg, mostly due to the super-charismatic Amber Mark and a groove that stays out of her way. But you might as well listen to Maroon 5 if you enjoy the slickness, and there are dozens of better bounces to be had from Atlantic Starr to Daft Punk themselves, nevermind Nite Jewel and Thundercat and Ariana Grande and the list goes on. Head Over Heelsmight replace the duo’s trademark mannequin legs on the cover for their own, but these days such co-opting of realness is real meh. It’s genderfluid like a tech bro in a stunt romper drinking a Monster. The farce is strong with these ones.

 

this is without a doubt the most retarded thing i have ever read. i can't even begin to unpack how fucking idiotic this person is. it hurts my brain imagining where to even start.

 

 

new writer it appears

 

it's late 90s ryan schreiber bad, which makes the daft punk mentions fitting

 

I quite enjoyed that. More than I would the album, I'm sure.

since when do music reviews start with karl marx

what the heckins?

Not just Marx. Marx segueing into Daft Punk.

I was quite vomiting

You know any form of media is gonna be great as soon as they mention Marx within the first sentance or so.

I don't have much to add here other than to say that this type of review makes me want to barf, specifically on the author.