shitty driver stories thread

I was driving home and as I go past the grocery store, a semi truck is trying to turn left.  it's off-centered where its rear is in the middle of my lane and the turn lane to the left of me, and I can't get through my lane to get to the light, so I stop early behind the semi.  the light is red.

another driver pulls up behind me really close.  I look at him to see what's up, and he does that exasperated hand thing and shakes his head a few times.  he then tries to pull around me in order to speed up to the red light a little bit faster, only to find that he's blocked by the gigantic and clearly visible semi just as I am

as the light turns green, the semi turns left and unblocks my lane, so I pull forward through the intersection.  I thought this encounter was over, but it was not

as I'm driving, this barbarian looking fellow with really unkempt hair keeps tailgating me hard.  I'm going really light on the accelerator this week since I'm low on gas and don't feel like refilling yet.  the guy behind me switches lanes to the left and I think he’ll turn and I’ll be home free, but then I see that he wasn't switching lanes, he was preparing to attempt to pass me in the middle of the intersection.  the madman is obviously Mr Wealthy (a great phrase I picked up from a rental car agent when I was picking up my rental car last week after a motorcyclist smashed into the rear of my brand new car right as I was stopping at a red light.  he called an impatient audi driver outside "Mr Wealthy" and the phrase was too unforgettable to forget) and wants a ticket.

as he's on my left trying to get ready to overpass me in the intersection, the light turns red.  he's now stuck in the left turn lane he didn't want to be in, parked next to me at the red.  I do not look at him.  once it turns green I continue forward and he turns right to get back into our lane and continues behind me.  at this point I'm going like 5 under

he’s really mad about it all still so he’s tailgating me so deep I could feel him docking and he proceeds to stridulate his high beams at me like a yachtbro EDM festival then takes a hard right and leaves me be.  I could almost feel his anger radiating from the road and quite frankly I was scared he'd try to enter a hand to hand altercation with me so I was glad he left

anyone else have any more shitty driver stories, or even better, stories about shitty drivers?

Intel Smart Surround Technology driver v. 9.21.00.3755

One time someone cut my right of way. I revved up my engine and followed him aggressively, drove against him sideways so he had to stop at the kerb. He ran off into the bushes, I ran after him to hunt him down. When I got him I slit his belly open and gutted him alive, then I played with his innards, slurping his intestines like they're spaghetti as my eyes were glowing demonically 

endless stupidity on roads in this country

if you don't catch yourself on to the wrath, driving experiences end up as Frank Booth w/out the gas dissociative

put some tunes on, then bass wobble boy racers farting shit & noise mash your choices, get through them avoiding some random cunt hesitating in the middle of two lanes blocking everything, the twat who overtakes on a blind bend, classic middle lane hoggers on the motorway or people undertaking @ 120+mph, so Frank Booth checks in & asks how the shit am i & i say fine Frank, fine, how are you?

A few weeks ago, I saw some schmuck swerving through traffic and cutting people off on the freeway. He also had a 'baby on board' sign hanging in the rear window.

  On 7/20/2019 at 1:08 AM, Braintree said:

A few weeks ago, I saw some schmuck swerving through traffic and cutting people off on the freeway. He also had a 'baby on board' sign hanging in the rear window.

maybe the driver itself was the baby

On my way to work this morning, on the highway on-ramp, this lady is in the right lane, lined up with me. I slow down a bit to get in after her; by law she has the right of way. I notice she's slowing down with me, i guess in an attempt to be nice? If I cause an accident as the one merging, its pretty much my fault regardless of how it goes down. I slow down more. She does the same. The ramp is uphill, my ride is a sad little 4 cylinder. Gunning it isn't an option. Soon we're going 25, the on-ramp is gone, I'm about to be pushed off the road. This whole time there has been no traffic in the left lane. At any point she could have just got out of the way. She finally swerves over, throwing her hands up and visibly cursing me. Washington drivers are the worst. 

I remember over a month ago I was in the left lane, and another driver was in the right lane next to me. But then this chump in an Escalade comes in hot behind me, then uses the meridian to pass me.

And twice this month some driver behind me honked their horn I was yielding to oncoming traffic waiting for an opening to make a right turn. I mean, are you fucking blind, dipshit? Moments like these make me wish my car was equipped with a rear bay for caltrops.

Around 20 years ago I spent hours and nights trying to install shitty Plug'N'Play drivers on my PC. 

It's happened to be a handful of times in central Austin where I've seen people blatantly texting, driving 10-15 mph under the speed limit, and visibly not giving a shit that people are honking at them - actually looking up, making eye contact, then resuming their texting. The realization that some people are that fucking self-serving and shaming them into basic decency is a futile act is pretty jarring. 

My mom must be the shittiest driver i ever saw. 

40km/h where you can drive 70, doesn't use her glasses even tough she sees zero shit from far. Never uses rearview mirrors, her seat shoved all the way to the front and she waits 10 minutes to cross a road even if nobody is in miles of view with a row of motorists cursing and shaking fists behind her

man i love my mum

  On 7/23/2019 at 7:42 PM, ambergonk said:

chump in an Escalade

All Escalade drivers should be drawn and quartered.

Ottawa drivers are aggressively stupid, and tailgate like there's no tomorrow. "Gotta be first to that next red light!"

  On 7/23/2019 at 7:42 PM, ambergonk said:

And twice this month some driver behind me honked their horn I was yielding to oncoming traffic waiting for an opening to make a right turn. I mean, are you fucking blind, dipshit? Moments like these make me wish my car was equipped with a rear bay for caltrops.

I've no doubt this stuff's happening around me all the time when I drive, but I have my music cranked up so I never hear the angst of the other drivers.  They're just honking into the abyss.

  On 7/24/2019 at 8:58 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

honking into the abyss.

Future track title.