Coping with rejection.

  On 10/7/2020 at 4:26 AM, dr lopez said:

Expand  

same bro

thank you lot for taking the time to post to this thread, i appreciate the kind thoughts and i even appreciate the stupid thoughts.

i took a walk at my favorite park. it helped a bit and i'm just doin my best. i may start running as per suggestion of a few people here. and i will for sure watch that film that was suggested.

@cyanobacteria it was a joke! Come on! Cheating is bad we all know that! Don't be so sensitive...

Rejection hurts, for everyone. If you try to ignore that it hurts, you start getting upset at yourself for feeling pain and you get into a awful spiral. 

So every time that sting comes back, tell yourself it's OK to feel pain sometimes, it's natural. It won't get rid of the pain, but it'll stop it from spiralling out of control. 

running, cycling, physical exercise, clean the bathroom, do a project or help a friend with a project.. all sorts of things exist to take your mind off things and be in the moment or day dream and before you know it like 3 hours have passed and you haven't thought about anything negative. 

Time will heal all wounds m8. And exercise like people here have said. Gotta roll with the punches of l.i.f.e.

Focus on the in-breath, then on the out-breath. Maintain that focus. Thoughts disappear. Don't judge, classify, rate or assess your emotions, just witness. You aren't your body, nor are you your mind. You aren't even your emotions. Emotions are like leaves of a tree, bending in the wind.

Whenever I feel down I visit the dank memes thread and everything turns golden.

What the hell is this pussy ass emo shit, Jesus Christ, God damn eunuch

Dust in the wind, ride the simulation, don't let it ride you.

                                                                        read the what if  i  told you thread to take your mind off everyday shenanigans

it hurts, you gotta move on

Slowly transform your feelings of heartbreak into feelings of:

• acceptance
• being-at-peace
• being-over-it

by way of:

• intense distraction / letting some steam off
• entertaining yourself / chill
• putting things into perspective / relativisation
• (quickly moving on / looking for a new relationship)
• (allow yourself to cry, but pull yourself together after)

  On 10/7/2020 at 6:17 AM, cyanobacteria said:

you lucked out.  rejection is way better than wasting years of your life on some idiot who's wasting your time

Yeah, if somebody accepts you but doesn't actually like you back you might end up in a horribly abusive and manipulative relationship. It's way better if someone just let's you know that they're not interested instead of abusing the situation for their own good.

Also if it's somebody you don't know very well and you're having a major crush it's quite probable that the crush would fade quickly once you get to know them. People tend to idealize each other to ridiculous lengths. Crushes can be a big pain in the ass for everyone involved tbqfh. The way media romanticises falling deeply in love in an instant and then portrays that developing into a stable lifelong relationship is far from reality for most people.

MaartenVC's advice was perhaps the most generic, unhelpful twaddle I've ever read on this website. Jesus Holy Christ. 

I remember getting dumped after a 2 year relationship, completely heartbroken in a pain I've never felt before, and the very first thought that went through my head was "now what would WATMM make of this?"

I think I would've asked a question like this around the age of 16. Now I'm approaching my mid 30s, my advice to my 16 year old self would probably be just bang as many people as possible.

I got very hung up on one specific person in my teens and definitely missed out on a couple of years of excellent shagging around because of it.

You just gotta get good 

  On 10/7/2020 at 3:38 AM, Extralife said:

Not worth it to be with a person who does not accept you unconditionally.

This is a good formula for having codependent relationships or none at all.

  On 10/7/2020 at 9:09 PM, TubularCorporation said:

This is a good formula for having codependent relationships or none at all.

Oh ok, thanks.

Don't worry about it, people are cunts and you are better off moving to a desert island and making your own friends out of coconuts.

There's a lot of good people around. 

  On 10/7/2020 at 10:35 PM, Silent Member said:

There's a lot of good people around. 

Everyone handles these things differently and feels these emotions to varying degrees, but...

Try and stay busy.  Doesn't matter with what, as long as it's not connected to whatever rejected you.

Like in Swingers, it will hurt a little less every day until one day you just don't think about it anymore.

Have you thought about salsa classes?