Divorce

Sounds like an important insight that will help you moving forward. You’re still calling her your wife though. Not your ex. Consciously?

  On 1/21/2023 at 7:02 AM, Satans Little Helper said:

Sounds like an important insight that will help you moving forward. You’re still calling her your wife though. Not your ex. Consciously?

Damn didn't see there was a response, since I wasn't quoted or anything and didn't get a notification.  

My mentality is still weird with what to call her since we not officially divorced yet.  

Also.  I did get on dating apps.  Just proceeding with much care and being nice and not forward to any women.  I'll just talk to them for a long time and then if it gets to the point that we might go on a date i'll let them know something to this effect.  "Hey so I want to be open and transparent about my current situation before going out on a date, so you can make up your own mind on it.  I'm at the tail end of a very amicable divorce.  We've been separated and broken up for months, the divorce is signed-sealed and delivered.  Just waiting on the official word from the judge which has been scheduled.  Completely up to you if you'd like to move forward or not - I understand either way!"

She sounds very cold to be abandoning you in such a time of need, much more than could be excused by her cultural background. Sorry that you're going through this. I hope you're able to find mental and physical healing over the next year. In a way, considering her behavior, perhaps she was sapping you emotionally in other ways that you might not have even recognized at the time.

Thought I would give an update as it's a big month with everything.  Tomorrow is the official court dissolution of the marriage.  It's completely over tomorrow.  Will be a short Zoom meeting with a judge and then i'm legally a single man again.  At this point after all of these months i'm doing very fine - it is true that time heals all wounds.  I just got the keys to my new apartment 2 days ago and i'm currently furnishing it, my house's closing date when we give the keys to the new owners is March 24th.  So I should get some nice equity to start my new life.

I've been on two dates so far with different girls - met through dating app.  One of them was a right kick in the balls, I dug her a lot but she ghosted me lol.  Guess this is quite common these days in the dating world.  As much as it sucked I think i needed a kick in the balls, because of her i started working out again, eating more, coming out of my shell, and overall feeling like myself.  Second girl was nice and cute but not for me.  So I haven't thought about my ex once in weeks.  Getting back in the dating game helped out a lot - it gives you something to think about all day instead of the craziness you are going through.

This thread should be really interesting to look at down the line.  I think I talked deeper with you all about this stuff than anyone else.  Which obviously sounds mental since you are strangers, but I think it was cathartic.  So thanks to everyone that chimed in and gave advice and helpful & kind words.

  On 3/13/2023 at 1:33 AM, lyst said:

I've been on two dates so far with different girls - met through dating app.

remember Drew's advice. 

womp womp. 

anyway.. good to get back out there. don't rush it. i hope tomorrow goes well and that you'll be relieved. 

  On 3/13/2023 at 1:33 AM, lyst said:

This thread should be really interesting to look at down the line.  I think I talked deeper with you all about this stuff than anyone else.  Which obviously sounds mental since you are strangers, but I think it was cathartic.  So thanks to everyone that chimed in and gave advice and helpful & kind words.

sounds like you're mentally in a better space now than when you first posted this thread. glad to hear you've been able to detach from the previous version of your life with the ex. I know it's cliche AF, but moving on in a more positive headspace is the only way to play this freakin game called life.

and yeah, using this board as an outlet for thoughts is one of the definite pro's on coming to an online community like watmm, where you know you share something in common with the other posters. we all had our brains re-wired at some point by the clanging wrench stuck in a washing machine noises the soothing genre known as IDM offers.

  On 3/13/2023 at 1:33 AM, lyst said:

Thought I would give an update as it's a big month with everything.  Tomorrow is the official court dissolution of the marriage.  It's completely over tomorrow.  Will be a short Zoom meeting with a judge and then i'm legally a single man again.  At this point after all of these months i'm doing very fine - it is true that time heals all wounds.  I just got the keys to my new apartment 2 days ago and i'm currently furnishing it, my house's closing date when we give the keys to the new owners is March 24th.  So I should get some nice equity to start my new life.

I've been on two dates so far with different girls - met through dating app.  One of them was a right kick in the balls, I dug her a lot but she ghosted me lol.  Guess this is quite common these days in the dating world.  As much as it sucked I think i needed a kick in the balls, because of her i started working out again, eating more, coming out of my shell, and overall feeling like myself.  Second girl was nice and cute but not for me.  So I haven't thought about my ex once in weeks.  Getting back in the dating game helped out a lot - it gives you something to think about all day instead of the craziness you are going through.

This thread should be really interesting to look at down the line.  I think I talked deeper with you all about this stuff than anyone else.  Which obviously sounds mental since you are strangers, but I think it was cathartic.  So thanks to everyone that chimed in and gave advice and helpful & kind words.

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Well...it's been a year. In America at least, divorced folks on average are married to a new partner within 2 years post divorce. A good childhood friend of mine got divorced in November '14 and was living with a new woman by the following February '15. The arrangement stuck until this past June when they got married. Personally, I find that mental but I'm not well known for my conventionalism so it's likely I'm the "mental" one really. Where are you now?