have you ever been in a fight

there needs to be more ear pulling like our principles used to do. The "come here young man" That shit will stop anyone in their tracks

Deep breath....

....I have given and taken a few beatings in my time. By far the worst was when I got headbutted during a big fight in a Pub in Clapham, this fucker headbutter me so hard. The pain was unbelievable, there was blood pouring out of my forehead and into my eyes and I was seeing stars. Anyway... this guy dropped to the ground because he had badly miscalculated and smashed his nose into my forehead. Hard. It was disgusting, he was screaming and choking, his nose was opened out and flattened and partly hanging off. The whole place went silent and people just filed out. Police arrived, ambulance arrived, evidence was given and everyone including the bar staff agreed that it was not my fault, he had attacked me.

Anyway, later in hospital they pulled a shard of his nose bone out of my forehead, just above my hairline.

So grim.

  Etch said:

Deep breath....

 

....I have given and taken a few beatings in my time. By far the worst was when I got headbutted during a big fight in a Pub in Clapham, this fucker headbutter me so hard. The pain was unbelievable, there was blood pouring out of my forehead and into my eyes and I was seeing stars. Anyway... this guy dropped to the ground because he had badly miscalculated and smashed his nose into my forehead. Hard. It was disgusting, he was screaming and choking, his nose was opened out and flattened and partly hanging off. The whole place went silent and people just filed out. Police arrived, ambulance arrived, evidence was given and everyone including the bar staff agreed that it was not my fault, he had attacked me.

 

Anyway, later in hospital they pulled a shard of his nose bone out of my forehead, just above my hairline.

 

So grim.

thats a fantastic story and seems like karmic justice to me.

thats horrifying

  Etch said:

Anyway, later in hospital they pulled a shard of his nose bone out of my forehead, just above my hairline.

:sick:

They wouldn't let me keep it.

  Etch said:

They wouldn't let me keep it.

lol, you sick fuck.

  Etch said:

Deep breath....

 

....I have given and taken a few beatings in my time. By far the worst was when I got headbutted during a big fight in a Pub in Clapham, this fucker headbutter me so hard. The pain was unbelievable, there was blood pouring out of my forehead and into my eyes and I was seeing stars. Anyway... this guy dropped to the ground because he had badly miscalculated and smashed his nose into my forehead. Hard. It was disgusting, he was screaming and choking, his nose was opened out and flattened and partly hanging off. The whole place went silent and people just filed out. Police arrived, ambulance arrived, evidence was given and everyone including the bar staff agreed that it was not my fault, he had attacked me.

 

Anyway, later in hospital they pulled a shard of his nose bone out of my forehead, just above my hairline.

 

So grim.

that's fucking epic.

  essines said:

  Etch said:

Deep breath....

 

....I have given and taken a few beatings in my time. By far the worst was when I got headbutted during a big fight in a Pub in Clapham, this fucker headbutter me so hard. The pain was unbelievable, there was blood pouring out of my forehead and into my eyes and I was seeing stars. Anyway... this guy dropped to the ground because he had badly miscalculated and smashed his nose into my forehead. Hard. It was disgusting, he was screaming and choking, his nose was opened out and flattened and partly hanging off. The whole place went silent and people just filed out. Police arrived, ambulance arrived, evidence was given and everyone including the bar staff agreed that it was not my fault, he had attacked me.

 

Anyway, later in hospital they pulled a shard of his nose bone out of my forehead, just above my hairline.

 

So grim.

that's fucking epic.

it is... and completely real and believable too. please take note lion.

I don't get into fights, I get out of them by fast talking/fast walking/articulate mates. I have a big mouth when I'm drunk and can't control it sometimes. This summer I got decked whilst walking home by some 16 year old kid on a moped who was driving past, I gave him the finger as he went by because I thought it was funny. Next thing I know I'm on the floor, and it hurt for days afterwards. But I'm lucky never to have been seriously beaten up though.

You're a lover not a fighter Iain. Its the best way to be.

I did ruin a stranger's wedding reception this summer, they were having it at the same place as my parents 25th wedding anniversary party. I got incredibly drunk to the point where the bar refused to serve me any more, so I crashed the reception and tried to steal a bottle of wine, knocked over a table of drinks, and (probably accidentally, I can't remember) barged into the mother of the bride or some other old coot. Apparently, the groom and the best man took me outside for a fight, but by this point I could barely even stand up and fell over before they had a chance to hurt me. Then my mum came out screaming "LEAVE MY SON ALONE!" and all was OK. Later that night I pissed in a hotel corridor because I forgot my room was an en suite.

Lol, Iain you sound like such a cunty pisshead. Maybe you should consider giving yourself a limit on drinking sometimes :P.

In Columbus, OH there's this thing called ComFest [Community Festival] where tons of people come to sit in a park, listen to bands play and get completely drunk/stoned/whatever. A couple years ago while there, I had drank about 3/4 of a bottle of vodka [had it mixed in with a big bottle of Ocean Spray cranberry juice]. On the way home there were some frat boys yelling obscenities at my friends and I, so I picked up this traffic cone to throw it at them, but ended up throwing it at one of the dude's cars. He comes off the front porch and we have a shouting match for about a minute. One of my friends [a girl, actually] is helping me walk at this point, so I know not to get into a fight so I yell at him "DUDE I WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICK."

That shut him up pretty quick.

  Braintree said:

In Columbus, OH there's this thing called ComFest [Community Festival] where tons of people come to sit in a park, listen to bands play and get completely drunk/stoned/whatever. A couple years ago while there, I had drank about 3/4 of a bottle of vodka [had it mixed in with a big bottle of Ocean Spray cranberry juice]. On the way home there were some frat boys yelling obscenities at my friends and I, so I picked up this traffic cone to throw it at them, but ended up throwing it at one of the dude's cars. He comes off the front porch and we have a shouting match for about a minute. One of my friends [a girl, actually] is helping me walk at this point, so I know not to get into a fight so I yell at him "DUDE I WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICK."

 

That shut him up pretty quick.

and? Did sucking commence?

:embrassed:

I've kicked the shit out of a few people.

Got myself terribly injured as well.

it's ok

Here's some I won:

1)

In, er, 2000ish our school's little shit robbed 25£ worth of weed of one of my best mates [who was big and hard] but... because little shit had his reputation for being well G or something, my friend let the robbery occur.

I didn't.

Followed little shit out into the streets, pushed him up against a car and battered him about 50 times in the face till it was pulped.

His mates stood around laughing and saying 'Jack's beating the fucking shit out of him'. I felt top. And well electronic music. Seeing as I was lanky and ginger and teh geek.

The next week at school he told everyone he got mugged. We never spoke about it. No-one ever bothered my mates again.

2)

I walked out of the local drum and bass rave to see someone I knew's brother being pinned to the wall by security.

I walked up and was like 'Oi mate don't get yourself put in hospital, let's walk off away and be peaceful.

The bouncers dug this idea and gave him up for my calming presence. "He's going to get himself killed if he acts like this mate take him home" etc.

So I think 'job done' but before I think this, matey [out of the bouncer's clutches] is pushing me and going 'you starting on me now are ya' or whatever chav shit.

So I headbutted him, broke his nose, blood everywhere, he was out cold and I kicked him in the face a few more times, then the bouncers pulled me off, and hospitalised him.

He apologised to me the next week. I think he said "yeah I'm sorry I made you beat me up" or something. What a nice chap.

Now, as for me getting the shit kicked out of me, reverse the above stories but imagine me being the one beaten up. Pretty similar.

I don't miss being 16-20yr old.

I started on two people this year though for being cocks. Fuck fighting, however.

These kids were at my buddys' house the other weekend because he was throwing a party.

One of the guys included in this handful (4 or 5 total) apparently started talking shit to my buddies' brother because he "voted for Obama" while I was upstairs puking and shitting after a night of pabst and busch light. Apparently my buddys' brother did not want to fight (and these kids were supposedly ex-marines or some bullshit like that - which explains a lot), the whole time this kid is yelling insults at him. I guess my buddy, who has a broken collarbone, told the kid and his friends to get the fuck out and this resulted in the kid tackling my buddy's hurt, defenseless ass to the ground. My roommate who accompanied me subsequently tore the asshole kid away from my buddy and held him to the ground. Of course once my buddy got up he kicked the kid in the face a few times before his brother and other friends jumped in.

My buddy and the guys who live with them are all cool people - never looking for a fight. But by the time I arrived at the scene fists were flying. In my drunken stupor I ran towards the first kid I saw who represented "enemy". Happened to be the kid who started the whole thing. I tackled him into a brier thicket (and still have the scratches all over my body as a reminder) whereupon another of our friends jumped on him and began pounding his face. Once I stumbled up I gave him a good few solid kicks (solid enough, I later found out, to break his ribs). Another one of douchebag's friends who apparently was trying to act as a mediator was holding on to my buddy's shoulder in such a manner to keep a distance between them. He kept claiming that everyone should stop fighting, etc. but I remember being pissed about the fact that he still felt it necessary to have his hands on my budro. I told him politely at first to take his hands away before he did anything else and he kindly mocked me in response. So, of course, he took one to the face which was followed up by some more kicks from my buddy.

While I was experiencing that series of events, a couple of our friends from the house were busy pounding on two other intruders. Two of the douchebags had some really bad looking faces when it was all said and done. This occurred towards the end of the night, around 4 am so there weren't any people left at the house except the regulars (one of which happened to be a chick I'm digging, but it's like one of those rappers said: ya'll couldn't see my ass in hospital gowns - which on second thought loses all metaphorical value given the fact that, as another one of those rappers said, I'm so skinny I get lost in my clothes when I walk). Still she couldn't understand the need to fight. I felt like a total douche at the end of the night carrying on conversation with her with blood all over myself, and torn up clothes, etc. No matter.

When it was all said and done, and the chaotic fighting ceased, we learned that douchenugget who had started the whole thing, who took those few blows from the toes of my Nikes, who happened to be the type of asshole that grabs the slack in their jeans near their fly and claims to "have a gun," was the same guy who was currently puking blood over by his car somewhere. Some crackhead friend of theirs came out of nowhere before they finally left and also decided to grab the crackpipe he calls a dick and claim it was a gun. These kids wouldn't leave even after they got merked. It was kind of weird drawing the curtains over the window-doors in an attempt to ignore them, when hearing a bang on the doors followed by a peer behind those curtains revealed a character staring back through the glass so helplessly drunk, bruised, and bloodied. Kind of cool, really. I remember getting extremely worked up during the moments preceding their departure - I couldn't understand why we hadn't laid those kids out on the snowy street, skulls cracked, arms and legs broken. But now I do.

cliffs: dik my suk

damn, who knew Jean Paul Sartre was such a thug?

  lumpenprol said:

damn, who knew Jean Paul Sartre was such a thug?

Just ask my bitch Simone de Beauvior.

  Panoptimist said:

These kids wouldn't leave even after they got merked. It was kind of weird drawing the curtains over the window-doors in an attempt to ignore them, when hearing a bang on the doors followed by a peer behind those curtains revealed a character staring back through the glass so helplessly drunk, bruised, and bloodied.

haha that's wonderful

damn, good stories.

i want to post a good one where i win, but it seems to me that most of the wins were wrapped up pretty damn quickly, like a one-two deal.

i do remember tackling this one frat boy into a bar, glasses beers flying everywhere movie style....was pretty cool, but that FUCKED him up, and even messed me up a little bit.

it looks like nothing in movies, but goddamn that shit hurts.