F my Life

http://www.fmylife.com/

Found lols, thought i'd share in the time of twilight-zone-watmm not refeshing.

jazz

shit.

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Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers.

I don't know why, but this makes me LOL uncontrollably.

  Joyrex said:

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Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers.

 

I don't know why, but this makes me LOL uncontrollably.

I'm doubtfull. Did this really happen ?

edit : the two-fingered story, not the laugh.

watmm would pick at the hole in your fucking polo if you posted it wouldnt they?

http://grouphug.us/

This is the only one I knew about. But nice to know there are others.

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Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

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Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

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Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad.

i regret my initial call of "jazz"... some of the stories that have been posted (true or not) are fucking hilarious

  Z_B_Z said:

i regret my initial call of "jazz"... some of the stories that have been posted (true or not) are fucking hilarious

That's quite alright, I'm sure each one of us at some point suffered from premature ejazzulation.

  Yegg said:

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Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad.

shit that's the one that made me lol

edit:

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Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip.

"Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML"

this is my biggest fear

hehe i like these

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Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

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Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

lol

  JohnTqs said:

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Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

 

lol

lol why is this a bad thing?

good question but

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Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

HARDCORE LOL

this site was posted in that one "i need a hug" thread. I don't care if they are made up or not, they are hilarious.

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Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman.

  abusivegeorge said:

watmm would pick at the hole in your fucking polo if you posted it wouldnt they?

erm okay if you figured that out now

the road ahead is through bitter and salted land

survival means packing some lunch and a smile

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Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

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Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

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Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile.

this next one is from grouphug.us

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I had an erotic dream about Krusty the Clown 4 or 5 nights ago. I jumped into his arms and made out with him, which made me suddenly horny, so much so that I woke up in surprise at the intensity. I was immediately disgusted at myself for dreaming about hooking up with a cartoon, and a foul one at that, laying face down on my bed at 11am. My pussy was so tight I could hardly piss for the next few minutes. Why would anyone want to make this up? Completely horrifying.

 

18/f

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Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

oh fucking lol

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Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

although painful ^^^ (no vampiresex) experiences like this will help rid of what we call 'idiots'